Do your parents know?

Jagraf

Just a thought though. Although I didn't tell mine, I would want my kids to tell me.

Maybe as we go on in generations it will become OK to say.

I will add this to my teens 'OK to tell me we will get through it if it ever happens' list.

midlander81

When_the_going_gets_tough wrote: »

Op what matters is why you can't tell your parents, couldn't tell your wife - not sure if you have told her the exct amount now, don't like when your friends are shocked etc. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks but it does matter what you think, that you are now honest with yourself about why you got into debt and have the confidence in dealing with it. The number of threads you have started about this issue makes me wonder ........

You do have a point. I think that it's all to do with that awful moment of realisation when you suddenly realise just how much debt you have run up! I am definitely making progress with the 'emotional factors' associated with my debt. I guess I kind of feel that by facing up to it I have shone the spotlight on myself and my own inadequacies. The fact that I used money as a way to boost self esteem with unnecessary items etc.


It's been an uncomfortable process but one that I have had to face.


Anyway...enough of the self pity! need to go an update my spending diary... oh the joys!

chish

I no I did the right thing by going on a dmp .. I'd talked about this to my dad vaguely as he was in hospital at the time , just chatting to him saying dad I'm 46 I'm going to straighten my self out once and for all , no more borrowing no more robbing Peter to pay Paul, my dad sat in his chair and said gel I'm so pleased ( he hadn't a clue what a dmp was ) but his look he gave me made me feel positive about my journey I'm on ..
, Unfortunately my dad passed away 2 days later so this has given me the strength to do this dmp .. I'm doing this for my DAD ...He wasn't rich he came in this world with nothing and went out with nothing ...I want just to be debt free .. my promise I made to him xx

antonia86

I shared our debt issues with my parent when the number dipped under £10,000. Before that I just was too embarrassed!


They are really supportive and are an additional reason not to whack the cards/credit back up again - as I know they're monitoring from a distance!


It was hard, and they had questions I would have rather not answered, but in the longer term I think it was for the best.


They never got cross or judgemental - a little upset but that's to be expected. I am still pleased to have shared it with them.

anarki

Both my parents know my level of debt. They have never once quizzed me about my personal finance but I've always felt compelled to inform them, maybe that sounds strange!

Then again, they've been divorced from each other for 18 years, one has no debt, no debit card/current account even, seriously.

The other has had 2 houses since the divorce, has a level of debt that I don't know the extent of but I know its eye watering.

Major extremes but both are happy and in control, well at least from what I can tell.

Armorica

I think the more pertinent question is whether you share with your children...i.e. are they learning to be debt free / financially responsible?

On_my_way

chish wrote: »

I no I did the right thing by going on a dmp .. I'd talked about this to my dad vaguely as he was in hospital at the time , just chatting to him saying dad I'm 46 I'm going to straighten my self out once and for all , no more borrowing no more robbing Peter to pay Paul, my dad sat in his chair and said gel I'm so pleased ( he hadn't a clue what a dmp was ) but his look he gave me made me feel positive about my journey I'm on ..
, Unfortunately my dad passed away 2 days later so this has given me the strength to do this dmp .. I'm doing this for my DAD ...He wasn't rich he came in this world with nothing and went out with nothing ...I want just to be debt free .. my promise I made to him xx

What an inspiring message. Your Dad would be very proud of you I am sure. I do believe that we come into this world with nothing and we go out with nothing. So, we have to try to control what happens in between and not attach happiness to material things.

I am on a DMP and it's hard going - my parents found out going through my room one day! (!!) but all they did was shout at me. It was they who would always say "well, you have to find the money to buy the bridesmaid dress they want you to have", they expected me to buy Christmas presents for extended family etc that I just couldn't afford- I was young, and brought up to be obedient - so my ex bf also pushed me into a massive financial mess. I know that I should have stuck up to all of them. In a way- thank God it happened to me aged 27 in 2009) so that it isn't going to happen to me in my 50's.

-taff

My parents finances are thier concern, they don't share with me, and therefore i don't share with them

Ellieseleven

I haven't told my parents how much debt we are in. They are both elderly and would want to pay it off for us which I don't think is right and it worry the hell out of them.

Karen777

hell no! they would be devastated, disappointed and are in no position to help so can't see why I would tell them. I have said that I am 'sorting my finances out' so they know I am on a budget but I don't feel any need to say any more. I am telling more and more people the further I get along my journey as I feel less ashamed but it's hard work shaking the feeling that I have royally screwed up over a number of years! Also it affected my mental health and I am still working through that so I tell people when I feel I can and when I feel they can cope with it.