Husband has left me - what do I do re: benefits?

back2square1

Hi I have tried looking on here for benefits advice but my head is in a mess and I'm not sure what applies to my situation.

My husband and myself split yesterday after his gambling addiction became too much. He has put us into £60k debt, stole my children's money, emptied savings account, etc. He earns £100k a year but most months he spends all his wage on gambling and nothing left. He has stole my wages too. He may be losing his job as he has a warning and could be reported for fraud which means instant dismissal because he works in banking.

I have got two sons (aged 2yrs and 6months). I am self-employed, can work anything between 16-30hrs a week. I have a 3 bed semi house with mortgage (£950 a month, owe £165000).

What am I best to do financially?

I realise there are different rates of Working Tax Credit you can receive and I am in a position where I can change my hours accordingly.

I don't think I will receive maintenance from my husband as he is very likely to become unemployed any day now.

whitewing

Can you speak to a gamblers support line?

back2square1

Hi Whitewing, we have been to gambling anonymous, he has seen a counsellor too and he is compelled to gamble, his addiction is too intense. This has been going on for 3 years and these last 6 months it has got a lot worse.

I have given him so many chances, he is never going to change and now I have to accept that I am going to be a single mother.

pmlindyloo

back2square1 wrote: »

Hi I have tried looking on here for benefits advice but my head is in a mess and I'm not sure what applies to my situation.

My husband and myself split yesterday after his gambling addiction became too much. He has put us into £60k debt, stole my children's money, emptied savings account, etc. He earns £100k a year but most months he spends all his wage on gambling and nothing left. He has stole my wages too. He may be losing his job as he has a warning and could be reported for fraud which means instant dismissal because he works in banking.

I have got two sons (aged 2yrs and 6months). I am self-employed, can work anything between 16-30hrs a week. I have a 3 bed semi house with mortgage (£950 a month, owe £165000).

What am I best to do financially?

I realise there are different rates of Working Tax Credit you can receive and I am in a position where I can change my hours accordingly.

I don't think I will receive maintenance from my husband as he is very likely to become unemployed any day now.

Basically this very much depends on how much you earn through your self employment. Is it enough to cover the mortgage as it is very high and it seems unlikely that you are going to get any financial support from your partner.

As a single parent you only need to work 16 hours to be entitled to working tax credits.

Having young children under the age of 5 you could give up your self employment and claim Income Support which would give you a passport to Council Tax Reduction and housing costs (support for mortgage interest would be paid after 13 weeks)

You can put different scenarios into the benefit calculator on https://www.entitledto.co.uk. (base your earnings re. self employment on last tax years figures)

It may be that you will have to sell the house and release any equity.

It may be that you could take over the mortgage (is it in joint names?)

All up in the air really as we don't know your earnings.

Obviously you and your partner need to make some arrangements as regards finances/the house/the children.

Are the debts in joint names?

CAB's website Adviceguide has some useful information on a relationship breakdown but in the end you need to negotiate with your ex./seek mediation/seek marriage guidance/seek legal advice.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/relationships_e/relationships_relationship_problems_e/ending_a_marriage.htm

whitewing

I am rushed at work; I didn't mean that you were doing the wrong thing. I just meant that a support group for families of Gamblers may be able to help you with financial pressures that their families often encounter.

back2square1

Thank you pmlindyloo. I earned £6000 2013/14 and this year it will be £15-20k.

bloolagoon

Are you going to have to end up selling your home to service the debts? It's just that mortgage assistance and rental assistance are very different so if you could give us an idea of whether you are intending to move into rented as I think with that level of mortgage and the small amount of tax credits you will struggle.

merlin68

If his lost his job, he could well decide to go bankrupt to clear the debt. Make sure you have a plan b.

back2square1

Thanks for the replies, I really don't want to lose my home and if my husband somehow (miraculously) keeps his job then I would receive a sizeable amount of maintenance. His nett pay was £4000 a month.
I know I have to consider selling the house and renting somewhere. All of the debts are in my husbands name and I am not liable for any of it.
I don't know whether he can go bankrupt because he works in banking and accountancy therefore going bankrupt would mean he would never be able to work in this field again. It is possible for him to pay off his debts over 3-4years (without any gambling) but his addiction is so bad even after all the help and support he's had.

It's impossible for me to have the security of maintenance for my children if he doesn't keep his job. He is now on a downward spiral and is out of control.

RAS

back2square1 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, I really don't want to lose my home and if my husband somehow (miraculously) keeps his job then I would receive a sizeable amount of maintenance. His nett pay was £4000 a month.
I know I have to consider selling the house and renting somewhere. All of the debts are in my husbands name and I am not liable for any of it.
I don't know whether he can go bankrupt because he works in banking and accountancy therefore going bankrupt would mean he would never be able to work in this field again. It is possible for him to pay off his debts over 3-4years (without any gambling) but his addiction is so bad even after all the help and support he's had.

It's impossible for me to have the security of maintenance for my children if he doesn't keep his job. He is now on a downward spiral and is out of control.

Hi

You need to look after yourself and the children right now. Use the turn2us calculator.

Is the house in joint names or one name only? If joint names, is it a joint tenancy or tenant in common?

If he goes BR, the IP would probably come for half the equity in the house, so what's the situation n equity?

Do you have any joint bank accounts? Close them or insist that all debits require both signatories.

If you claim maintenance and he keeps his job, expect them to have to have to do a DEO to extract the maintenance from his salary.

He needs to start talking to his union and his employer about his debt and his gambling if he wants to retain his job. When SHTF a few years ago several people who posted went BR on the advice of the banks' in-house debt managers and kept their jobs.

The twerp who went BR and then told work was dismissed immediately.

Tiffany_Aching

You also need to make sure that any income that you have coming in will go into an account that does not have his name on it - including your wages. If you don't have a sole account then get this sorted today.

If you are the main cardholder on any credit cards then get his card stopped. Again, do this today.

If he knows your security checks and passwords to any online banking make sure that you change them asap.