Wake up every morning feeling worthless

Rooster01

Hi, as above I wake up every morning feeling worthless. I often wonder if the only way out of this mess is to end it all. I go to bed worrying about debt and when I wake up my mind goes into overdrive and picks up where I left off. I'm hardly sleeping and my appetite is now affected which is probably a good thing as I'm saving some money to pay debts.

Yes I know I've been stupid, basically enjoying and living off a good salary but as soon as I went off sick problems started to occur. My wages dropped by nearly £1000 per month as I was unable to work overtime, not entitled to any enhanced pay which is on its own a loss of £600 per month. I had any excellent credit score and now it's distroyed in a flash.

I've managed to contact both Halifax and Nationwide who have been extremely supportive. I owe Halifax £14750(was paying £320 pm and now dropped to £160pm) I owe Nationwide £7050 but unfortunately they have not frozen the interest but have dropped monthly payment by £50 pm. Both I have kept up to date for 4 months. Now here goes......Please please please don't judge me on this? I have 2 catalogues, both Very and Littlewoods but I owe them a staggering £20000. I basically bought all my furniture from them with a plan of paying off BNPL but just let it roll over so interest alone is stupid. I was managing to pay £500 each pm but can no longer afford to as I've missed payments last 3 months so minium payment is well you can guess! Both have been very understanding but I'm having problems setting up a payment plan. I also have 2 payday loans which I stupidly took out when I went sick. I am back at work next month so salary will return to normal but impossible to catch up on payments. I feel like the only way out is to end it all. I too embarrassed to ring stepchange due to catalogue debt.

moohound

Give step change a ring, they won't judge you, they have heard it before, and worse probably.

I couldn't sleep or concentrate when my debts mounted up, I know what it can be like, and they will help you find a solution, there is a life after debt and even a reasonable life while it gets paid off.

your debts are considerable and it won't be quick but it will be better than what you are experiencing right now, you will make yourself ill if you carry on as you are.

Puzzcat

You don't have to ring stepchange you can set up a dmp online using the debt remedy tool on the stepchange website.
Good luck, and all will be fine just take a deep breath and have ago online.
Any questions about dmp's then pop over to the dmp mutual support thread where us dmp'ers hang out.
Puzz.x

tibawo

I have been where you are and sometimes, at times, still feel really low as I struggle to make ends meet.. My siblings have good jobs and their own homes. I have neither of these.

I have been through an iva and survived... Just! I am really struggling getting my head around a budget and have since struggled getting petrol to put in the car for work in the last few weeks. I am still paying bits off things!

However, I think the hardest part is that first step when you want to sort it all but it seems impossible. You have now done that so congratulate yourself on it. Then look to positives you have like your health etc. these will lift your mood. I find laughter is a great mood lifter and is free.

Coming in here helps. Other posters are a wealth of knowledge and can help with ideas in cutting your budget and making your money go further.

You can do it but remember it is baby steps all the way.

farmeress

Hi, I am not knowledgeable enough to offer advice, but I have found the people on here so encouraging!!
I am in a similar situation of spiralling debt and feeling worthless... but I have spent most of today reading posts, and have to say, realising we're not alone helps, people from all walks of life make mistakes.
Please phone stepchange, there is always a solution!!You're not worthless.
I just want to wish you the best of luck, keep posting.

Monkeyballs

Hi Rooster,

It's never as bad as it might seem and you've made an excellent choice coming here and opening up!

I had entered into a DMP about 6 months prior to knackering up my back and my payments keep reducing but all the time Step Change have been really helpful and friendly, they never judge you they just nudge you in the best direction

There are other debt charities you cold go with such as Payplan, Christians Against Poverty, CAB, etc but Step Change gets my vote every time!

http://www.stepchange.org/

Check out the DMP Mutual Support thread, you don't have to have started yet (assuming that a Debt Managment Plan is what you plump for) you can just swing by and soak up the vibe

It's all good fun and very supportive, plenty of people entering into, already in or already out of the same boat!

When you go into a DMP you're asked to go through a simple Income & Expenditure form (be generous in your expenses, it's not a prison sentence) and you'll soon be eating decent food, finding time to do things other than worry and fret and count your pennies and sleeping like a baby! Without a doubt, it's the best thing I've done in a loooong time

Oh, and don't worry about whether your creditors are going to be nasty or nice as ultimately it doesn't card as Step Change (or whoever you go with) will steam roller over them anyway! LOL

MB

Rooster01

Thanks all for being so understanding and not judging me. I should be banished, sent to prison for the debt I'm in. I've been totally irresponsible and living my life without thinking I'd go sick for nearly 3mths. I wake up crying, I've lost nearly 20 lbs in weight and not one day goes by when I think about the easy way out. I have visions of Stepchange laughing at me if I ring them thinking "How stupid is that person, that's the worst case I've seen" Paranoid or what?

Debtfree2018_2

Please please don't beat yourself, be kind, there is ALWAYS a way out.

Do you feel like doing a SOA or snowballing of debt?


I also suggest to read the debt roll of honour, this is very inspirational and I also suggest rob parsons the money secret book.

All the best, we are all here to help

dancingfairy

I'm not sure if your mental health problems are causing/have caused the debts or if the debts have caused your mental health problems but either way you are clearly in a bad place mentally right now and not thinking straight (possibly from not eating/sleeping)
You may have made some bad decisions in the past but you can make better choices in the future
The debt charities won't judge you for getting into debt (no matter what type). That's not what they are there for.
We also don't put people in prison for debts any more so don't worry about that.
You need to get some help with the debts and you also need to speak to your doctor to see if you can get some help with sleeping etc, maybe some counselling.
The only way from here is up.
Please do get some help.
df

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Rooster01 wrote: »

Thanks all for being so understanding and not judging me. I should be banished, sent to prison for the debt I'm in. I've been totally irresponsible and living my life without thinking I'd go sick for nearly 3mths. I wake up crying, I've lost nearly 20 lbs in weight and not one day goes by when I think about the easy way out. I have visions of Stepchange laughing at me if I ring them thinking "How stupid is that person, that's the worst case I've seen" Paranoid or what?

Debt is not a crime.

It's not pleasant, but it's not a crime. It happens.

SC won't/don't judge anyone. Not in their remit to do that. If they did then they wouldn't have the number of people they do have contacting them every day.

It gets easier. Doesn't feel like it now, but it does.

runforlife

Rooster01 wrote: »

Thanks all for being so understanding and not judging me. I should be banished, sent to prison for the debt I'm in. I've been totally irresponsible and living my life without thinking I'd go sick for nearly 3mths. I wake up crying, I've lost nearly 20 lbs in weight and not one day goes by when I think about the easy way out. I have visions of Stepchange laughing at me if I ring them thinking "How stupid is that person, that's the worst case I've seen" Paranoid or what?

Not paranoid Rooster. Just normal guilt ridden feelings. I certainly had them - good job, responsible job, c**p loads of debt. Head in sand. Though there was a reason finally it all imploded (divorce) realistically it was going to happen sooner or later.

I too was embarassed to ring SC and applied and did it all online. However I have had occasion to call them and I cannot stress enough how supportive and non judgmental ALL of the people I have spoken to are.

Take a deep breath. Gather all your debt information. A cup of tea and give yourself a spare hour. Give them a call or do it online. Once you have done so you will feel so much better. And as Monkeyballs suggests. Be generous with your budget allowances. You have not committed a crime. You will soon find yourself living normally from day to day and enjoying life again.

Keep us posted.