Party RSVP etiquette?

vroombroom

Hello!

Our 3 year old has been invited to a party for a little girl at his nursery. We don't know the little girl in question and neither does he (when we ask him, he just gives us a blank expression and asks who she is).

Anyway we won't be able to go as we're on holiday. So what do I do? Just a simple text to the number on the invite saying we can't go? Do I need to get a her a card and pressie and leave it in her little cubby hole at nursery?

This is all new to me! x

quidsy

Text to say "Thanks for invite but we are away, hope she has a great time" No present. No card. Simples.

If you had to buy a pressie & card for every party your kid didn't go to you will be spending ALOT of money in the coming years. No parent expects a non attending random child to give their kid a gift or card.

Indie_Kid

Agreed with the above. If it was someone he was really close to and he couldn't go, I would get a card and present. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

fivetide

Sounds like they have just invited absolutely everyone.


Can be a good gig for getting extra presents in but at the same time you find yourself with loads of kids to manage, higher costs and you even end up inviting ones that your child doesn't like or in your case OP, doesn't play with.


With that in mind, as already said, a polite refusal, because that costs nothing, is certainly the way to go. I always ask my lad who he wants to invite, they have their own wee friend groups from that age so unless you can get a great deal for 20 to 30 kids it makes sense to keep it to those whose company your child will appreciate.


I realise it is a bit more of an answer than you were looking for but as you said you were new to it all it seemed worth expanding a little in case you are planning something similar!

heartbreak_star

I'd go with a polite refusal text and maybe a little pretty card?

HBS x

Money_maker

I wouldn't say I was away, no point in advertising it. Just say that he is unable to go but you hope 'maisie' (or whoever) has a lovely birthday and party. Job done.

snowleopard61

Agree with all the above - just would add, I'm surprised to hear from work colleagues how many people just don't bother to let them know at all whether their child is coming or not, leaving the party-giver at a loss to know how many to cater for/whether to invite more children to make up numbers for a decent party.

I can't say I experienced this myself when my children were small - thankfully - but how inconsiderate!

tyllwyd

I agree with the other comments - if you don't know the family, a text to let them know you can't make it is fine.


I've had parents who don't reply at all, which is annoying, especially if the party is at a soft play type place where you need to know numbers. I've also had kids accept then just not turn up, with excuses the next day like 'she had to tidy her room and then we forgot'.

suejb2

I always reply as soon as I can to invitations my children receive both accepting or declining. Texting is the norm now.This will now doubt be the first of many invites so get into a habit of replying but you do not need to get a prezzie if decling.