Advice needed, very desperate

National_Debtline

Hi there Changingmyfatitude

It's great that you have felt able to post your experience here. I've spoken to thousands of people with debt worries over the years and I've always admired their courage for being able to share it with someone.

If you don't mind me asking, what is the significance of the December deadline for repaying your sister's loan, and if the worst comes to the worst is it conceivable that you could arrange with her for it to be spread out over a longer period if needs be? I just wouldn't want to see you doing any panic borrowing to pay that money off.

Dennis
@natdebtline

Changingmyfatitude

Hi Dennis

My sister rented her place to me while her and her husband worked abroad. She got pregnant and came back to the UK, as they wanted to save she gave me her savings to look after. Due to my own poor money management I was using her money to pay off existing debts as she didn't need the money at the time.

Due to a change in circumstances she has to move back into her property which is why I have to move out and she needs access to the £3000.

I was very stupid and not very clear with her at the beginning so whenever I paid some back, she would then need access to it so its been like cat and mouse for some time now. I eventually explained I used some of the money which she was ok with but she still needs it by December.

£3000 is actually the minimum I need to have for her by then but I still have to move out which will cost me a fortune and as I am trying to pay her back I am not able to save. Its like whichever way I think of it I am stuck.

The last two months were worse as I was paying off my payday loan but now that is done so it will make trying to put the money away easier...I hope.

National_Debtline wrote: »

Hi there Changingmyfatitude

It's great that you have felt able to post your experience here. I've spoken to thousands of people with debt worries over the years and I've always admired their courage for being able to share it with someone.

If you don't mind me asking, what is the significance of the December deadline for repaying your sister's loan, and if the worst comes to the worst is it conceivable that you could arrange with her for it to be spread out over a longer period if needs be? I just wouldn't want to see you doing any panic borrowing to pay that money off.

Dennis
@natdebtline

youknowthis123

Hi there,

Not much to add to the above really, but wanted to show my support!

You have some very good advice here from some individuals with incredible debt free journeys behind them. I'm coming up to half way through mine, and would not have got this far without the help and support of all here. Make sure you use it, and I promise you will see the light again.

Best of luck!

YKT

dancingfairy

Firstly I would work out after your usual expenses - travel to work, rent, clothes, food, heating , council tax etc to see how much 'spare' you have each month to pay off these debts.
I suspect that you will struggle to find £3000+ in 3.5 months just on cutbacks on expenditure alone (unless you earn mega bucks).
As it is coming up to christmas can you take on an evening job/weekend job/bar job or anything like that to earn some extra money?
Do you have anything you can carboot/ebay /sell in the freeads?
What skills do you have that you can utilitise? Ebaying and taking commission, dog walking, gardening/delivering parcels?
Whilst your sister may well be upset that you have spent her money, no doubt she would be more upset at the distress you are in and the fact you are feeling so low. Some things are more important than money.
Stay positive, you can solve this.
df

ampersand

Gigantic well done for posting:-)

As I saw your 1st post I knew what I'd be writing straightaway, then - blow me down - Fisher Jim had jumped straight in and said the same in the very next post.

Martin rates CAPUK highly[ see my long-established signature]and I think they will do much more for you than just address the debt with your sister, AND then staying debt-free.

Seeing off those dreadful payday loans shows you CAN do it, even if fear was a motivator there.

CAPUK will be your confidence lego, building and building until it all becomes second nature to you.

You'll find saving is ADDICTIVE. You can do little things daily too - aim for an nsd or npd[no spend/no petrol days]

Keep posting - I've subscribed.

theoretica

Where are you moving to that will cost 'a fortune'? If you are happy to discuss it on here there may be a way to make it much cheaper.

For instance have you considered renting just a room for a while until your finances are in better shape? Or a man with a van works out far cheaper than a removals firm.

Aloofdragon

Good luck lovely, I was screaming I just want out of this debt and felt only way out was to not be around 2 weeks later a mountain of information and kind words and I have a plan no amount of debt is worth the dire stress your under if the £3k can't be made by Dec then swallowing your pride cap in hand and a cuppa and having a chat with your Sis surely would be the best way !! I had to do it with hubby but they love us !!, soak up the advice and good luck x

Brightspark87

well done for staying positive and doing something about this.

you need to look at your income and outgoings. First point.

Good luck x

StressedSteph

Hi


Well done to taking the first steps to sorting this out, and you couldn't be in a better place than here.

If I were in your shoes I would do the following:-

Call StepChange TODAY.

Pay Food / fuel for work / Rent/mortgage / council tax / electric / water first out of your money. ALWAYS make sure you have enough set aside for these.

Above that you can start thinking about your sister and moving house.

At times like this you HAVE to be a little selfish and make sure you have food, warmth and a roof over your head.

Now......when your sister comes back in December, is there anyway you could stay in the house with her? If even for a very short time??

If not could you stay with a friend or your parents??

I am afraid your sister may be mad but it is a lot better to owe her money than payday loans or other loan sharks.

PLEASE do not get into anymore debt to pay her back, what is the worst she will do??? If you have to do something to appease her, meet up with her, break down, show her how desperate you are and how you are so upset that you have gotten into this mess. I am sure she has a heart and will help you in this situation.

If not then you will need to STOP paying her, so you can save for a small deposit on a room rental or something cheap ready to move out in December.

Once you have moved and are settled financially, ONLY then can you start repaying her money.

I know it may damage your relationship with her, but I am sure she will get over it eventually and your state of mind is more important at the moment.

Please don't despair, Stepchange are amazing and will help you budget things out, there is always a solution. You will just have to work out a game plan.

Keep in touch here, so we can help you through it xxx