is there any need for it

poppyjay

hi im new to dfw and am trying very hard to sort out my debt problem i have asked for help from this site i have been helped by alot of very nice people all in the same boat as me and i want to say a big thank you to them
But i have also found some very rude and hurtful people out there is there any need for it and reading other people thread some of the replys have been awful it cant be helping people.
As most people(from reading there threads) seem to suffer with depression as i do one hurtful comment can do alot of damage
is there any need for it

Payingitallback

Never any need for it what so ever.

Take care

james32_uk

Nope. It's such a shame. The only time some 'firm' words are justified is when people come across as looking for an easy way out of repaying their debts rather than working towards becomming debt free.

In_Search_Of_Me

No there isnt poppy but sadly you will always get people on here who are idiots and have no respect for others (one on the forum as we speak!). I think that where possible its best to try & ignore them, although I make the odd exception to the rule! (as I did with your post the other day!). I try & hang onto the "what goes around, comes around" philosophy & leave them to it!

ScorpioLady_2

Poppy

I couldn't agree with you more.

I read these boards a lot and get loads of courage from reading what others are going through, but to be honest having read a few threads recently am getting increasingly scared of posting in case the odd one or two individuals turn on me.

When you're in debt, depressed, vulnerable, alone etc etc the last thing you want is to open up only to receive abuse and sarcasm. I know it has certainly frightened me off, which is a shame, as when I posted I did get lots of support which I know I still need.

hypno06

Please don't be put off posting on these boards. For every one person who is unnecessarily harsh (and there will always be one or two around), there are literally dozens and dozens of people who will offer you sound advice, without judgment, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to rant at, whatever.

Sometimes as said above, we have to be firm, and can sometimes get frustrated, but this is not the same as being downright rude and opinionated. I have been posting here for a while now and have seen all sorts, but thankfully those that are unduly harsh receive little support from others and soon get bored, moving on!

The good of these boards far far outweighs the bad. Please continue coming here.

SarahNeedle1872

No Poppy, there isn't a need for it and it really annoys me when people are rude/judgemental, cuz we're all here for the same reason - we want suport/advice/ideas/a rant/a virtual hug.
Yes it is true that some times things need to be said that the OP may not want to hear, but there is a way of doing it tactfully without offending or upsetting them...
I'm sorry u have had some bad experience here, but please don't let it deter u from hanging around, the lovely people here FAR FAR outweigh the trolls!

Take care

Sarah x

rog2

Poppy - I totally agree with you.

Unfortunately, whilst this forum has become a bit of a 'sanctuary' for people who are deiling with, or trying to deal with, their debt problems, it will, by the very nature that it is an 'open forum', always attract an unwanted, and undesirable, element.
There are always people who appear to get their kicks from the misfortune of others. Many of these 'people' are, themselves, insecure and tend to compensate for their own inadequacies by mocking the situations of others.
I suppose it can be compared to the 'playground bully' syndrome - often when you stand up to them, the roles become reversed - they are not used to being on the defensive and simply can not deal with it.
I suppose, as debtors, we are considered fair game on an individual basis - yet when we present ourselves as a cohesive group then we become a force to be reckoned with and these 'bullies' then don't know how to deal with us.
This is true whether the 'bully' is an individual, merely out for a bit of Saturday afternoon fun, because he is bored, or whether the intruder has been deliberately placed here by the 'industry' of scavenging vultures who earn their living by keeping debtors in ignorance of their rights.
The sole purpose of these 'Trolls' is to try and discredit any good information that is given to posters, in order to maintain the element of fear that they need so they can carry on their dubious profession.
This forum is fast becoming known for its reputation in championing the consumer/debtor's rights over the attitudes of creditors, and they are worried. You only need to look at how many people are looking at this forum, at any time, to see that the number of people not logged in outweighs the number of registered 'on-line' users by 2 to 1. Of course there will be 'lurkers' and people who are either too embarrassed, or hesitant to register, but you can bet your boots that a large portion of those looking at this site represent the very people who have contributed to our problems.
In a way, therefore, it is hardly surprising that they want to make their voice heard, here, and to inflict their sanctimoniuos twaddle on to those who least need to hear it.
I appreciate that everyone has different ways of dealing with their debt problems, and that one of those ways is the 'tough love' technique, whereby criticism of spending habits can be extremely productive in changing a person's attitude to debt.
Equally, the sharing of experiences, of how people have dealt with their debt problems, is invaluable to 'new' debtors, who, otherwise, could easily be duped into further debt by the 'army' of parasites who are out to profit from the misfortune of others.
However, the type of supercillious comments that have been voiced, by one particular intruder, today, contribute nothing to this board, other than to divide it.
I agree with fish-face - 'what goes around, comes around' and, who knows, maybe in a few years these same 'bullies' and 'trolls' could find themselves in the position of needing to ask for advice and help.
In the meantime, all we can do is to 'ask' them to leave us alone.

*zippy*

I was thinking the other day that perhaps a couple more board guides are needed, It's no criticism nearlyrich as its such a busy board, it's alot for one person, perhaps if a couple of the regulars could become guides, any nasty posts could be deleted quite quickly.

Please don't be put off posting, its doesn't happen very often and they are usually put in their place quite quickly. Remember you can put people on ignore too.

LookingAhead

Poppy - whatever you do don't let these people stop you coming here, and getting the support that you *will* get here, to help change your life.

If anyone gets a kick out of upsetting you, then what does that say about them? Don't let them get to you, just concentrate on the good stuff and as long as you are doing the best you can, when you can, then you can do no more - you come here for support and to talk with people who understand.

Do not let anyone who claims to be happy as they are debt free, get to you. Clearly if life was so perfect they wouldn't be acting like an ar5ehole on a forum would they?

Garnet_Gem

Negative posters use this forum because they try to make themselves feel better at the expense of making others feel worse. Be sorry for them because their lives must be sad if that's the way they have to behave. keep posting because there's so many nice, helpful and wise people on this site.