register office ceremony

TonyMMM

peachyprice wrote: »

And then you have to make it available to anyone else who wants to get married there

No you don't - just like any wedding venue you can choose to accept or decline any ceremony booking , and you can then just let the licence expire.

(you do have to pass various health and safety tests, fire regs and access rules and you also have to allow public access at the time the ceremony is taking place).

roobarbncustard

I have known of two occasions where couples were married at home due to terminal illness. The registrar attended and also a minister of religion. Similarly weddings take place in hospitals, hospices etc..
Obviously no help to OP unless they have exceptional circumstances themselves.

candlelight_2013

That is true, but then the couple are married by Registrar General's Licence which enables the couple to be married wherever the terminally ill patient is at the time.

Candlelightx

margaretclare

There are two parts of the marriage ceremony which matter: both must state that they are free to marry (not married to anyone else) and that they consent to be married to each other ('I will'). This must be done in front of witnesses: 'I call on these persons here present to witness that...'

The idea of consent is at the heart of marriage in this country. Many years ago, before the church got in on the act, it was possible to get married anywhere, a pub, a field, anywhere at all so long as there were witnesses who could later say 'Oh yes, I heard John and Jane give their consent to marry each other'. This was something that caused a lot of trouble in the Paston family of Norfolk, a family of up-comers and social climbers in the 15th century. Mother wanted daughter to to marry someone from a neighbouring family that had land which could be tacked on to the Pastons' - daughter had already given consent to marry someone of her own choosing so, effectively, was already married.

Yes, it's possible also to marry in a 'stately home' and many of these are licensed for the purpose. Some register offices are in historic buildings e.g. Liverpool is in the old Corn Exchange and the registrars there made it very nice and not threatening, at the wedding I attended there. A civil wedding used to be very brief and formal, but not any more. The registrars usually do their best to make it a nice occasion. What can be threatening is the interview beforehand when the couple go to state their intention to marry. DH and I were interrogated - no other word for it - and he was pounced on when he got my year of birth wrong. Makes you wonder how so many 'sham weddings' actually get through.

InsideInsurance

margaretclare wrote: »

What can be threatening is the interview beforehand when the couple go to state their intention to marry. DH and I were interrogated - no other word for it - and he was pounced on when he got my year of birth wrong. Makes you wonder how so many 'sham weddings' actually get through.

As my wife to be was not of British/ EEA nationality at the time of our wedding we had to go to a different registrars to give notice as our local one isnt designated for foreigners.

Have to say our experience was very different, no questions at all, form was just quickly ran through to ensure it was all correct. Mrs' had a chat about baby clothes as the woman at the registrars had a baby photo on her desk and the Mrs was making and selling baby clothes at the time.

At the end of it told the form was filled in fine and come back in X days to collect the certificate.

Just to clarify - not saying ours was a sham marriage, still married 3.5 years on, but your grilling couldnt be further from our experience.

GobbledyGook

Are you in England?

In Scotland for Humanist weddings it is the celebrant who is registered rather than the location.

arbrighton

rafhelp wrote: »

Do you HAVE to do the register signing at the room hire they provide, or can you say for example do the signing and vows at your own home and just get the registrar(s) to visit your home?


Just the last two reg offices I visited seemed quite daunting and not very friendly.

As others have said, it doesn't have to be a register office, but it does have to be a registered venue. E.g. we have hired Altrincham Town hall for our ceremony next year and will pay a higher fee to registrars as it's not the register office. It's a beautiful room and close to where we are having the receptionn.
We haven't booked to give notice yet as OH has no leave left til after CHristmas.

Puttytat

margaretclare wrote: »

What can be threatening is the interview beforehand when the couple go to state their intention to marry. DH and I were interrogated - no other word for it - and he was pounced on when he got my year of birth wrong. Makes you wonder how so many 'sham weddings' actually get through.

This x 2!
We were also 'grilled' during our interview because I didn't know my husband to be's post code (we didn't live together at the time) and when he attempted to answer (as you would naturally) the Deputy Registrar shouted 'The bride ANSWERS!'.
At the time, we were terrified, but we look back and laugh now and occasionally use the line if he either interrupts or answers a question on my behalf!
Thankfully, we were getting married outside my borough so knew we would never have to set eyes on the miserable woman again!

BabyBoots

In Scotland, the person conducting the service is registered, and can condict the service anywhere - at home, outdoor etc.

In England and Wales the venue itself is registered, has to be "suitably solemn" and have a roof - hence outdoor ceremonies often involving going under a gazebo at some point!

If you really wanted to, you could have your home approved as a registered wedding venue, but then technically other members of the public could apply to you to be married at your home! Probably too much effort!

You could pick a registry office further afield if you don't like your nearest ones, or as others have said, pay more for the registrar to attend a registered venue you prefer.

Savvy_Sue

margaretclare wrote: »

There are two parts of the marriage ceremony which matter: both must state that they are free to marry (not married to anyone else) and that they consent to be married to each other ('I will'). This must be done in front of witnesses: 'I call on these persons here present to witness that...'

Signing the register is also fairly important, at least these days ...

Last wedding at which DH officiated, not in a church, they came to the end of the ceremony and we were all heading off to the photos etc, with me in a mild panic because nothing had been done about signing. Groom's father, a church minister, was in a similar panic. Surely he hadn't forgotten signing the register? I knew that he wasn't qualified for that bit but presumed a registrar was there somewhere to make it legal!

It turned out that the couple had decided against getting a registrar to the venue, and had instead gone to the registry office a couple of days beforehand to do the legal bit. They didn't see that as their wedding, and didn't want anyone to know they'd done that, apart from DH who'd been asking all the right questions! Mild panic over ...

Many years ago, in the days before you could get married just about anywhere, a couple we knew had to use the registry office because their church wasn't registered. They also headed off to the registry office a couple of days beforehand and didn't think they would regard that as their 'proper' wedding - but the bride was reluctant to relinquish her ring!

Anyway, the point for the OP is that you can do something fairly privately at the registry office and celebrate / repeat your vows elsewhere, or have a registrar attend a completely separate venue. Your call.