ex wife wants more money following court order

tomtilly

My husband is paying a significant anount of maintence for his 13 year old child, agreed in a court order in what was a very generous settlement for his ex wife. He also supports 3 other children financially through university agreed in a solicitor letter. He wanted to do right for all his children
His ex wife now wants more money now the court order is over 12 months old, which she will get if she applies through the child maintenance service.
We based our mortgage and budget on all the amounts agreed in the court order, to pay the extra maintenance will have a big impact. It also seems unfair that what was agreed in court as fair and reasonable based on both parents incomes can now be over ruled because his ex wife has found away to get more.
Both parents are high earners, the same profession and on similar imcomes

Will the the child maintenance service take into account the over £1000 per month he gives the three eldest children?
His son also has a bedroom here but never stays as he lives less than half a mile from our home, we deliberately chose to live close so he could "drop in ", so that also appears to go against us
Any suggestions please?

shoe*diva79

You wont like the answer I am afraid...

Your husbands ex wife can now go to the CSA if the court order is over 12 months old. She will get a % based on your husbands gross pay which is sourced directly from HMRC.

Any money that your husband pays to support children not eligible for child support is not taken into consideration.

Have you any children living in your household? If so, a small discount will be applied to take them into consideration.

tomtilly

thanks for the reply, in that case we may have to reduce the amount we pay to the older children, there is only so much money to go round and at the moment paying the current level of maintenance and giving the older children money ,his ex wife already has a higher household income. so perhaps she could support her older children financially too

shoe*diva79

tomtilly wrote: »

thanks for the reply, in that case we may have to reduce the amount we pay to the older children, there is only so much money to go round and at the moment paying the current level of maintenance and giving the older children money ,his ex wife already has a higher household income. so perhaps she could support her older children financially too

Im sure she already does.

duchy

tomtilly wrote: »

thanks for the reply, in that case we may have to reduce the amount we pay to the older children, there is only so much money to go round and at the moment paying the current level of maintenance and giving the older children money ,his ex wife already has a higher household income. so perhaps she could support her older children financially too

Poor chap - actually having to support his children.

Perhaps the sensible thing would be for the parents to get together and discuss the situation -and between them work out an amicable compromise rather than a new wife deciding for them.

Of course if a court order was needed to get him to pay child support in the first place.....maybe not !
If he has been paying less than CSA rate for a year perhaps he should regard it as a bonus he got to pay less for the child for a year before moving to CSA rate.

It'd be a pity if his relationship suffered with his adult children if he stopped supporting them -hopefully there will be understanding (probably less likely if he tells them it's their Mother's fault for having the audacity to expect him to pay the normal rate of child support)

custardy

duchy wrote: »

Poor chap - actually having to support his children.

Perhaps the sensible thing would be for the parents to get together and discuss the situation -and between them work out an amicable compromise rather than a new wife deciding for them.

Of course if a court order was needed to get him to pay child support in the first place.....maybe not !
If he has been paying less than CSA rate for a year perhaps he should regard it as a bonus he got to pay less for the child for a year before moving to CSA rate.

It'd be a pity if his relationship suffered with his adult children if he stopped supporting them -hopefully there will be understanding (probably less likely if he tells them it's their Mother's fault for having the audacity to expect him to pay the normal rate of child support)

Nice balanced post there............

fabforty

tomtilly wrote: »

thanks for the reply, in that case we may have to reduce the amount we pay to the older children, there is only so much money to go round and at the moment paying the current level of maintenance and giving the older children money ,his ex wife already has a higher household income. so perhaps she could support her older children financially too

That seems like the best (and most obvious) solution. He pays the court ordered amount for the youngest child, whatever that is, and use the remainder to help his older children. If the older children live with their mother, then of course she is supporting them financially, especially if CM is no longer being paid for them. They all have the same mother (I hope I have understood that correctly), so collectively as a family they won't be any better or worst off.

supersaver2

If the ex goes via the csa there will be no money due to the adult children at uni. I don't understand why he pays for the adult children, fair enough give what you can afford but the children could do as many have before and support themselves, I had no parental monetary support during uni and budgeted and worked part time.

elsien

duchy wrote: »

Of course if a court order was needed to get him to pay child support in the first place.....maybe not !

(probably less likely if he tells them it's their Mother's fault for having the audacity to expect him to pay the normal rate of child support)

That's unfair. Sometimes a father has no option but to take it to court because the mother's expectations are so unreasonable.

tomtilly

How very judgemental some people are, thank you to those who tried to see a more balanced view.
My husband went to court because his ex wife wanted everything, he didnt pay csa rate because his wife settled for less in return for the house and a bigger portion of his pension.
All of the older children are away at university and she gives them no finacial support because "she cant afford it".
Now she wants more money but he wont be able to claim back a portion of the house or his pension I presume.
Its called having your cake and eating it
plenty of students get no help at all from any parents, but he wanted to be supportive to all his children. His eldest child is on his 6th year at university. He pays each of them a significant amount of money each month
It is a shame that when you go on a forum asking for advice you get presumptions and crticism, but thank you once again to those who tried to help

FBaby

It certainly is a failing in the system, unfortunately, one he didn't know about at the time and clearly didn't get advice on.

Reducing his support to his older children is the way to go, but I would try to see about doing this gradually and discussing it with them. The 24 yo (I assume) should be understanding of the situation and appreciate that they can't take for granted the amount that they are still recieving from their father.