Spousal Maintenance

GobbledyGook

There must be more to it than has been said and people can't help without facts.

To put into context I was awarded spousal maintenance - I left uni to move for his job. Frequently changed the jobs I picked up after that every time he relocated. Then when we had children I was either home full time or working school/nursery hours as his job gave him no flexibility. I also was on hand for endless 'expected' activities from the other half (hosting other wives, organising/attending functions). I had two primary school age children and a newborn baby at the time and the SM was time limited (by the time youngest is at high school I'm expected to be self-sufficient) and the judge also insisted that tax credits I could claim, but wasn't were included in my income because not claiming was a choice (he compared it to the fact that he wouldn't consider me spending X amount on cigarettes or sailing as 'essential' so not claiming was a choice I was making). There is also stipulations about SM ending due to me co-habiting with someone (which is amusing atm as I am now 6 months into co-habiting with him again and no-one is quite sure how to sort that!) or marrying again.

I find it very hard to believe that someone was just handed never-ending SM with all of the assets and without any chance of change.

Even if your lawyer was rubbish the judge checks over everything so is unlikely to allow such an unfair division - especially if they think someone has received bad advice.

scarb1

One twist to my case (divorced ex-wife claims not be able to work, gets house, contents and car and £600 per month spousal maintenance for life) is that the Judge said I could have my occupational pension. When I retired I had to use the pension to pay the £600 so did not get it anyway, the lump sum was also eaten up with monthly payments Paid around £10K for a very long legal case - went back to court when income went down represented myself and was did not stand a chance against her solicitor who would not speak to me over the phone as I was not a solicitor - complained to her practice got no where. The so called legal profession don't like dealing with people representing themselves (got that from a solicitor friend). Dickens was dead right about the legal profession.

No idea what to do - won't pay more thousands of pounds (which I dont have) for another pointless legal battle. A the last court hearing when I represented myself I had to pay her fees as I lost. The whole civil legal system is so adversarial. Sorry to rant - it just seem so unfair. unjust and immoral.

Reams

Angelicdevil wrote: »

Tell her to "do one".

Your children are independent adults now, it's time for your ex wife to sort her life out instead of expecting an ex to pay for her lifestyle.

Don't be so silly, you obviously have no idea of how courts work.

scarb1

County Court District Judges have a record of making arbitrary decisions - most reasonable people would not think this possible but it happens - I know a builder and I.T. professional this has happened too. Some people take messing with your life very lightly.

scarb1

Many thanks to Angelicdevil for their posting - wise words.

"Originally Posted by Angelicdevil View Post
Tell her to "do one".

Your children are independent adults now, it's time for your ex wife to sort her life out instead of expecting an ex to pay for her lifestyle."

tomtontom

scarb1 wrote: »

Many thanks to Angelicdevil for their posting - wise words.

"Originally Posted by Angelicdevil View Post
Tell her to "do one".

Your children are independent adults now, it's time for your ex wife to sort her life out instead of expecting an ex to pay for her lifestyle."

Failure to comply with a court order can ultimately result in a custodial sentence - very unwise words. What income do you have, and what did you have at the time of the order? Has there been any suggestion that you have deliberately reduced your income?

mgdavid

tomtontom wrote: »

Failure to comply with a court order can ultimately result in a custodial sentence - very unwise words. What income do you have, and what did you have at the time of the order? Has there been any suggestion that you have deliberately reduced your income?

The OP has retired and is now trying to live on his pension minus £600 per month (I can read). I hardly think the aging process can be called deliberate?

DaveTheMus

cazziebo wrote: »

Not really. If you are out of the workforce for 16 years or so, it would be almost impossible to catch up with someone on a prescribed career path who is that far in front. Arguably, the working partner only achieved what he did in his career because he was well supported at home.

As I said there was a threshold set so once she earned over that then the maintenance would stop.

Professionally a single man can achieve as much as a married man throughout his career, so I don't think this 'support at home' is as imperative to professional success as you seem to think it is.

Also I find the 'threshold' is an incredable disincentive to work hard and progress, almost like many people on benefits who may well think 'what's the point in working? I'll only be a bit better off.'

I find it a complete disservice to women themselves that they are given lifelong maintenance money as if they are incapable incompetents, as if they need a man to provide for them even when they are single, treating them almost like eternal children. Very patronising indeed!

Gigervamp

DaveTheMus wrote: »

I find it a complete disservice to women themselves that they are given lifelong maintenance money as if they are incapable incompetents, as if they need a man to provide for them even when they are single, treating them almost like eternal children. Very patronising indeed!

Unfortunately, there are some women out there who feel that they're entitled to lifelong maintenance. JackRS has a long running thread about this. His ex-wife is perfectly capable of getting a job, (she worked until 4 years ago), but wants a 3 bed house in the expensive SE, (the children are now young adults and not living with her) some of Jacks pension and she wants nearly 2 grand a month for her living expenses. Oh, and I forgot the leased car too.