forced to work alongside bully?

1DayAAT

hi guys,

i'm wondering if any of you can help with this messy situation i find myself in.

i found out that one of my colleagues was sending very very unkind emails about me to our management, expressing his negative views of me and relating to my disability among other things. i had solid evidence of the emails and along with working in a very hostile environment with this colleague for 3.5 years (too many details to go into, but basically a campaign of subtle bullying designed to undermine and criticize me constantly). all of this is entirely unjustified given that i am a very highly praised and competent worker. his behaviors in part also contributed to a nervous breakdown i had in 2013.

due to the stress and anxiety of dealing with this person, i also have developed a panic disorder over the past 10 months which renders me dependent on Valium.

i raised a formal grievance against this colleague in july and some parts of it were upheld, others were not. mediation was suggested but this is something i entirely refuse to do because i have tried to get along with this person on numerous times, exercising forgiveness etc, only to turn around and find he is still "anti" me despite what he may pretend on the surface.

i have appealed the parts not upheld and am asking for this colleague to be moved to another location or to be moved permanently to the opposite shift to me.

next weds i have the appeal hearing and it is my only chance to have this upheld in full - no further right to appeal.
what happens if they insist that they will not move this individual meaning i will have to work along side him again (we have been seperated during the grievance process). i physically can't imagine being able to cope with that given all he has put me through and the negative opinion he holds on my disability. would i have to resign? and if i did, would i have a case of constructive dismissal or disability discrimination?

i really do like my job and obviously depend on the income but having to work with this guy again is more than i could take.:(

notanewuser

1DayAAT wrote: »

hi guys,

i'm wondering if any of you can help with this messy situation i find myself in.

i found out that one of my colleagues was sending very very unkind emails about me to our management, expressing his negative views of me and relating to my disability among other things. i had solid evidence of the emails and along with working in a very hostile environment with this colleague for 3.5 years (too many details to go into, but basically a campaign of subtle bullying designed to undermine and criticize me constantly). all of this is entirely unjustified given that i am a very highly praised and competent worker. his behaviors in part also contributed to a nervous breakdown i had in 2013.

due to the stress and anxiety of dealing with this person, i also have developed a panic disorder over the past 10 months which renders me dependent on Valium.

i raised a formal grievance against this colleague in july and some parts of it were upheld, others were not. mediation was suggested but this is something i entirely refuse to do because i have tried to get along with this person on numerous times, exercising forgiveness etc, only to turn around and find he is still "anti" me despite what he may pretend on the surface.

i have appealed the parts not upheld and am asking for this colleague to be moved to another location or to be moved permanently to the opposite shift to me.

next weds i have the appeal hearing and it is my only chance to have this upheld in full - no further right to appeal.
what happens if they insist that they will not move this individual meaning i will have to work along side him again (we have been seperated during the grievance process). i physically can't imagine being able to cope with that given all he has put me through and the negative opinion he holds on my disability. would i have to resign? and if i did, would i have a case of constructive dismissal or disability discrimination?

i really do like my job and obviously depend on the income but having to work with this guy again is more than i could take.:(

Could you request a switch to the opposite shift if they won't move him?

tomtontom

Is this the chap you were complaining about in May? Which parts of your grievance were upheld and which were not? You are not helping yourself by refusing mediation - the employer is trying to help and you are not willing to see a middle ground.

jezebel

1DayAAT wrote: »

i raised a formal grievance against this colleague in july and some parts of it were upheld, others were not.

Can you give details on why they were not upheld? Depending on what was upheld or not may determine approach to the situation.

Does your workplace have an IT Usage policy? It may be that he was guilty of gross misconduct under this and if this is the case it could be foundation for separate disciplinary.

mediation was suggested but this is something i entirely refuse to do because i have tried to get along with this person on numerous times, exercising forgiveness etc, only to turn around and find he is still "anti" me despite what he may pretend on the surface.

Mediation, if done properly, is a no-blame scenario. There may be underlying issues he would not want to tell you about that lead to this and whilst not excusing his behaviour at all, the mediation may actually help. I've had two issues that have ended in mediation, both were resolved fairly and one was very similar to your case where bullying was involved.

i have appealed the parts not upheld and am asking for this colleague to be moved to another location or to be moved permanently to the opposite shift to me.

Surely it's for your employer and not you to determine what action should be taken. Appeals are generally on points of process rather than on the decision so you would need to make it clear what parts of the process they did not follow. It may not overturn a decision.

what happens if they insist that they will not move this individual meaning i will have to work along side him again (we have been seperated during the grievance process). i physically can't imagine being able to cope with that given all he has put me through and the negative opinion he holds on my disability. would i have to resign? and if i did, would i have a case of constructive dismissal or disability discrimination?

Yes, if they choose not to uphold it and take sanctions then you would be expected to work alongside him. Assuming the action they take is not dismissal (this obviously depends on what was upheld). It may be that with some additional training, understanding etc that things will improve. You can't predict that nothing will change.

Is he "officially" aware of your disability? Have you told him? You may have difficulty claiming discrimination if he is not aware - in your previous posts you mentioned that he "knew" but you didn't tell him. If there is nothing official he could claim ignorance, which whilst not a defence in the law would be taken into consideration, particularly if he hasn't specifically said anything relating to your disability but rather your general demeanour.

i really do like my job and obviously depend on the income but having to work with this guy again is more than i could take.:(

See comments above - in red

Tiddlywinks

Why not go for mediation - it can help in certain circumstances - if not, it will at least have shown you are willing to be reasonable.

Mediation, if conducted correctly, will explore each party's perspective on issues and then attempt to find a plan for moving forward.

A trained mediator will dig beneath the surface so the other party shouldn't just be able to coast along saying what he thinks people want to hear.

What have you got to lose?

NoNoDrama

Trouble with mediation it's often only a temporary solution with the bully reverting to type after a few weeks. But it can work in some circumstances so do at least give it a go. If it doesn't work, then just leave.

Maybe you are wasting your time in what sounds like a toxic environment .. most employers don't take complaints like this at all seriously despite it ultimately leading to long term sickness and high turnover of staff. All they care about is productivity.

Tiddlywinks

NoNoDrama wrote: »

Trouble with mediation it's often only a temporary solution with the bully reverting to type after a few weeks. But it can work in some circumstances so do at least give it a go. If it doesn't work, then just leave.

Maybe you are wasting your time in what sounds like a toxic environment .. most employers don't take complaints like this at all seriously despite it ultimately leading to long term sickness and high turnover of staff. All they care about is productivity.

At the end of the mediation process any agreement should be discussed and 'reality checked' to make sure it's really workable. The mediator should also ask the parties how they want to deal with any future issues and if they'd like to nominate an independent third party to assist in helping with any further breakdowns.

It's surprising how one small event can have been misunderstood and kick off a long and escalating breakdown in relationships.

Just unpicking and discussing those events can be a real eye opener for both parties. In colleague disputes, mediation is nearly always worth a try.

MissD

I personally think anyone who is silly enough to work alongside their bullying colleague needs their head examining.

Mostly because from most bullies' POV their behaviour doesn't change, unless they're warned that if they do it again (whatever they did, IT use etc) then they could be further disciplined and sacked.

I was bullied by 2 people - friend of the boss who worked as a temp for us. And my colleague. Boiled down to emails being left open for me to read (personal and work). When I raised complaint I was told that these emails were *a myth* and *lies*, they wouldn't do this.

I only found out a few months down the line from someone who's since left the company, that my colleague was !!!! scared I'd leave and claim constructive dismissal or some other route (I'd printed out all emails) and that I did in fact have a case, as I was being bullied and hindered especially from the external person.

Luckily I have a new job offer as of this week and I'm leaving in a month. But I also found out that the temp/friend is *unreliable* and because I also got another temp in over the summer to cover me - my boss had decided to go down that route now, pay the money and avoid possible conflict between me and the bully. Or maybe the bully didn't want to come back into work with me, who knows?!

My other colleague was moved upstairs which made life easier for me about a year ago which was about 9 months after I made the bullying allegations.

On another case scenario a friend's sister who works in a council dept is being bullied by her manager, mediation has been suggested I think the sister is open to this but the manager not so much. I think they have to work together but the person being bullied is putting a claim because there was an investigative meeting etc which favoured the manager.

I think ultimately unless you can completely move desks/departments etc your best course of action to OP is a new job.

badskindollheart

I think for you, mediation will just be going through the motions. It seems that you've had a lot of water under the bridge and mediation is happening too late. However, I do think you should go just to demonstrate your willingness to resolve the situation and protect yourself.

Do you have an Occ Health dept that you could talk to? They may be able to recommend that you are not co-located but that doesn't necessarily mean that he will be the one to move. They may also be able to refer you to CBT counselling, which can give you strategies to cope if you do have to work together.

Ultimately, employers don't care what issues you've had with colleagues. My bullying grievance was fully upheld, but whilst it was going on I begged to be moved. They moved me but now they've put him in the same team again!

Good luck OP; don't let him ruin things for you. You've probably been through the worst of it with the grievance investigation anyway. It will get easier. You might feel broken, but you're still standing :A

Takeaway_Addict

NoNoDrama wrote: »

Trouble with mediation it's often only a temporary solution with the bully reverting to type after a few weeks. But it can work in some circumstances so do at least give it a go. If it doesn't work, then just leave.

Maybe you are wasting your time in what sounds like a toxic environment .. most employers don't take complaints like this at all seriously despite it ultimately leading to long term sickness and high turnover of staff. All they care about is productivity.

Slight oxymoron then, if they care about productivity they care about their employees and making sure things work as well as possible, if someone is off sick then there is no productivity

Carl31

Surely your health is more important than some job?

It's pretty obvious you won't get any support, so it's only going to get worse

best thing to do is leave surely? Then put it all behind you