Refusing to pay for funeral

AdamantUK

I'm one of 2 children to my Mother (my father has already passed away) and she lives in a care home paid for by the local social services due to her mental health issues.

Whilst I go and visit her reguarly, due to past issues I don't want to and am not really willing to fund a funeral when the time comes.

There are family issues, especially that I don't get on with my sister at all (she's a drug user and has stolen from me in the past and abused my mother hence how she ended up at the home in the first place).

If I'm honest, I'm likely to not even want to attend the funeral.

Am I legally obliged to contribute towards the costs of the funeral and, if so, how do I ensure the costs are minimised as my sister will just order everything if she knows she's not paying!

Sorry for the rather morbid (and I appreciate I sound like a complete ******) but families....

securityguy

AdamantUK wrote: »

Am I legally obliged to contribute towards the costs of the funeral

No.

It's that simple.

AdamantUK

Thank You, Simple and to the point! :T

securityguy wrote: »

No.

It's that simple.

hardpressed

No, you are not responsible unless you go to the undertaker and arrange it. When the time comes just refuse to have anything to do with it.

RAS

The person who orders things from the FD is the person liable to pay the debt.

So, just do not get involved. If dear sis refuses as well, then mum can have a "Public Health" funeral. You can attend or not as you wish.

joerugby

This article throws some light on "paupers' funerals".

"A simple service is followed by cremation or burial in an unmarked grave which could potentially be reused three or four times."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-29241746

theoretica

I assume she doesn't have any savings or property? Even if it is a public health funeral the cost gets paid from the estate before you inherit anything.

BobQ

hardpressed wrote: »

No, you are not responsible unless you go to the undertaker and arrange it. When the time comes just refuse to have anything to do with it.

Or to put it another way, if your sister starts making arrangements with an undertaker they will ask her to sign a contract that means she will be liable to pay, unless she is (or has the agreement of) the person responsible for administering her estate.

g6jns_2

AdamantUK wrote: »

I'm one of 2 children to my Mother (my father has already passed away) and she lives in a care home paid for by the local social services due to her mental health issues.

Whilst I go and visit her reguarly, due to past issues I don't want to and am not really willing to fund a funeral when the time comes.

There are family issues, especially that I don't get on with my sister at all (she's a drug user and has stolen from me in the past and abused my mother hence how she ended up at the home in the first place).

If I'm honest, I'm likely to not even want to attend the funeral.

Am I legally obliged to contribute towards the costs of the funeral and, if so, how do I ensure the costs are minimised as my sister will just order everything if she knows she's not paying!

Sorry for the rather morbid (and I appreciate I sound like a complete ******) but families....

You are being quite reasonable and should not feel bad about it. You have no liability whatsoever to contribute to the funeral costs. Make it clear to your sister that she will be liable if she decides to organise a funeral. Public health funerals are perfectly dignified. There is no shame in what used to be called a "pauper's funeral" and hundreds of them happen every week.

Mojisola

BobQ wrote: »

Or to put it another way, if your sister starts making arrangements with an undertaker they will ask her to sign a contract that means she will be liable to pay, unless she is (or has the agreement of) the person responsible for administering her estate.

This is right - if she signs the contract, she will have to pay.

Your council should have information like this on their website -
https://www.bedford.gov.uk/community_and_living/deaths,_funerals_and_cremation/bereavement_services/arrangements/public_health_funerals.aspx

Bedford arranged nine public health funerals in 2013.

TBagpuss

Does your mum have any assets? As PPs have said, you do not have to pay for a funeral as log as you do arrange it or sign anything with the funeral directors, however , the cost of the funeral is general the first call on the estate so if your sister ordered a big funeral this could come out of the assets your mum has.

It sounds as though she may not have much.
You may find that the nursing home / council try to pressure you to sort out a funeral as obviously if you are contactable and generally reliable then it is the easiest course for *them* With that in mind, you might find it helpful, either now or when the time comes, to put something in writing to them (possibly to be kept in your mum's file) to say that while you visit her regularly, you have no financial links with her and that in the event of he death while you would wish to be told, you will not be involved in any arrangements for her funeral and that following her death all communications (other than notification of her death) should be to your sister (give the most recent contact details for her that you have). I would also add that your sister has no authority to speak on your behalf or to make any commitment, financial or otherwise, in your name.