Choosing bridesmaids... Fiance's family

redfragglebiker

I have chosen to have my OH's sister as a bridemaid but mainly becuase we get on really well and she;'s closer in age to me than my OH which means we tend to reminisce about the same things! I'm pretty lucky in the fact that she's basically told me it's my day and providing I don't put her in something horribly pink and fluffy then she's happy to go with the flow. I do however think that you need to make these kind of decisions of your own free will. regardless of who suggests what it's YOUR wedding day and you have every right to have whomever you please (or not) as a bridesmaid.

Sundaysgirl

I agree with the others - it's your wedding so your choice. Please don't have Sarah as a bridesmaid through a sense of obligation. How does your fiance feel about it all?

I chose not to have bridesmaids but instead had my best friend and SIL do readings during the service - is this something you could get Sarah involved with as an alternative to being a bridesmaid but still being included with a special role on the day?

As an aside, my SIL is lovely but we're not particularly close, and if I had been having bridesmaids she wouldn't have been one of them for that very reason - IMO they are the people closest to you and there to support you in the run up and on the day. For example, would you want her helping you go to the loo on the day?!

Robin.84

If you don't want "Sarah" as a bridesmaid, how about she be a witness or do a reading? She'd still be an important part of the wedding then.

Bennifred

My OH's step-mother assumed that we would have her daughter, OH's half-sister (who was about eight years old, and obnoxious, at the time) as a bridesmaid without even raising the subject with us - talking about her outfit, flowers, etc.
I was so annoyed with the assumption that I told her I wasn't having any bridesmaids, even though I have three sisters of my own.

The step-mother was outraged - to the extent that she didn't attend the wedding......:beer:

In the end I had one little flowergirl - one of my little three year old cousins. My sisters were more than happy, and so was I!

pigpen

Bennifred.. I did chortle at the stepmother not coming lol..

Alice-Kate.. your wedding, your bridesmaids.. I wouldn't have his sister out of pure bloody mindedness now.. its the principal!

heartbreak_star

I'd feel kind of sorry for his sister if you turned her down out of spite at your MiL, if that makes sense? However, MiL needs to realise it's totally your choice - if you wish to ask SiL, you will

I'd have OH's sister as bridesmaid - but that's because we get along brilliantly

HBS x

lulu_92

I would be in a similar position because OH has two sisters and I have one. My sister will be my matron of honour, but I don't want his two sisters to be bridesmaid. Problem is I've got a list as long as my arm of people I want!

alice_kate_2

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Rachylou1981

OP - I would have who you want and don't feel pressured into having her just because she is going to be your SIL. I don't think anyone should expect to be part of a wedding just because they are family.

I am not even engaged yet but often think of future wedding plans. I love reading this board

One big dilemma I will face is that I have 6 nieces (age range 7-12) and my boyfriend has 1 niece (aged 1). I obviously couldn't choose between nieces and feel it will be OTT to have them all as I would want my best friend/s to also be bridesmaids - I have 3 but could get away with one of them to whom I am most close with.

I always wanted to be a bridesmaid when I was little and although I have never really asked them, feel my nieces would love it and would feel completely sad and mean for not having them as bridesmaid (on my side, there is no-one in the family they would ever be asked for and they have never been one before)

Has anyone faced a similar dilemma? What did you decide?

ellesbellesxxx

Please please be careful with what decisions you make - make them for YOUR reasons, not someone else's.
I have been trying to keep everyone happy, but actually letting my MIL make a couple of decisions has caused so much stress I wish I had stuck to my guns at the beginning and just my Mum and I would have got it done simply.
I was asked to have SIL2b and BIL2b's gf (by MIL - they were mortified when they found out) but refused as I felt that had I been having more than one BM that I would want my two best friends... having more than one was already opening me up to so many "why haven't you chosen me?" from other people who wanted to be BM that I just decided to keep itsimple.
Good luck!