A new partner and new start in life. New SOA...

xbethanyx

I presume your SOA was still bad before you moved in together? Would you considering bringing up the subject of splitting all joint outgoings in two between you and her? I know you have said previously you dont want to take from the child benefit money, but that appears to be her only income. Why should you be left to pay all bills etc? I presume her house was from her ex husband. Her child is also 16... what does she do all day?! a 16 needs very little from parents at that age...
I see it as you are struggling greatly and she is living the life of reily with hardly any expensives and doesnt even work.
I think a good long talk with her is what is needed to pull your finances together.

asparagus1968

"I believe we as a couple would be entitled to exactly the same amount of money as she currently gets in a single claim"


" She is just scared that notifying them will cause them to stop the payments and not reinstate them."


don't these two sentences contradict each other?


This has made me really cross. Good luck OP....

2014NewStart

xbethanyx wrote: »

I presume your SOA was still bad before you moved in together? Would you considering bringing up the subject of splitting all joint outgoings in two between you and her? I know you have said previously you dont want to take from the child benefit money, but that appears to be her only income. Why should you be left to pay all bills etc? I presume her house was from her ex husband. Her child is also 16... what does she do all day?! a 16 needs very little from parents at that age...
I see it as you are struggling greatly and she is living the life of reily with hardly any expensives and doesnt even work.
I think a good long talk with her is what is needed to pull your finances together.

She pays the bills. I buy groceries and pay half council tax.

Yes house was from marital property. She got that fully paid with no mortgage, £55,000 cash (£15,000 was used as a F&F to clear a DMP) and no pension.

It was bad but I've managed over the last 15 years to save a deposit and then pay off the mortgage on the property. I think my problem is I want debt paid off ASAP so pick the shortest time possible. I took out the mortgage over 10 years and spent money on 0% on purchases credit cards to make sure the mortgage was paid off. When the offers on the cards expire I take out 0% on balance transfer cards. I only just recently took out the Sainsburys loan over 3 years and used the money to pay off some credit cards which were run up renovating my house. I fixed up the kitchen, new flooring throughout, new doors, full repaint and new bathroom. None of this had been done since I moved in. The latest credit card I took out only had a £2,000 credit limit and it wasn't enough to cover the outstanding debt so I took out the loan. I took it out over 3 years as that term had the lowest interest rate of 4.1%. The reason I posted is my main current account balance dropped to £5 last week after making that payment and also paying my first instalment on the council tax (we are taking turns paying it). It's the first payment as council have been mucking us around and only now got around to issuing a bill a few months back. OH paid the first instalment in August and I just paid Septembers a few weeks back. It was just a bit of a shock my current account has never been that low before. It normally hovers around the £1,000 mark.

What does she do all day? Cleans house, cooks dinner, plays on the computer, visits friends/family. Not too much.

19lottie82

OP im not having a dig here but has she mentioned what she will do when the maintenance / tax credits come to an end in the not so distant future? If she doesn't want to share finances now then surely she cant expect that to change when they stop?

[Deleted User]

2014NewStart wrote: »

Lived together since last December.

Would that be December 2013, or December 2012?

IOW, have you been living together for about 10 months, or about 22 months?

Either way, your partner has committed a criminal offence, by (in the former case) failing to promptly declare a change in circumstances, and (in the later case) making a false claim?

EDIT: Scratch that last paragraph.

It seems child tax credits have to be renewed annually, by the 31st July.

That being the case, your partner must have submitted a renewal, containing false information, meaning she is now (even by your own loose definition) a benefit fraudster.

2014NewStart

19lottie82 wrote: »

OP im not having a dig here but has she mentioned what she will do when the maintenance / tax credits come to an end in the not so distant future? If she doesn't want to share finances now then surely she cant expect that to change when they stop?

Good question. I have made it 100% crystal clear that I will not be buying cigarettes using money that I worked for...she smokes. She has understood this and has now recently visited the doctor and got a prescription for Champix and is trying to quit. It costs the NHS lots of money to put someone on it so I really do hope that it works. She also enjoys a bottle of wine every now and again. She has the money to pay for it so why not. I've also made it clear if she wants to go out and spend money on entertainment then she has to use her savings or has to work for it. The money that I work for and earn will be used to pay the bills but it won't be used for her luxuries. I think she understands this. In around 6 years or so or whenever daughter moves out I'd like us to buy a house together. As long as she still has her payout then that can be her share of the deposit. She can then rent this house out and have a monthly income which can be used to pay her share of the mortgage and have some left over to pay for her own personal luxuries. Then we can call that house our house rather my my house or her house.

2014NewStart

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

Would that be December 2013, or December 2012?

IOW, have you been living together for about 10 months, or about 22 months?

Either way, your partner has committed a criminal offence, by (in the former case) failing to promptly declare a change in circumstances, and (in the later case) making a false claim?

2013. I know...I'll talk to her again and see if she wants to call HMRC herself. I can't force her. It is technically her problem if they can't chase me for the money. I notified council I lived here and even that caused arguments as they rightly removed the SPD that she had been entitled to and they put my name on the bill which she did not like as to her (the argument went) it show's that I have a right to the proceeds of this house if it was sold. I think she's worried I might take her house from her.

[Deleted User]

2014NewStart wrote: »

I'll talk to her again and see if she wants to call HMRC herself. I can't force her.

I'm not sure you should be asking her if she wants to call them.

While not, legally, responsible for her criminal behaviour, you will likely be caught in the crossfire (so to speak), if she gets prosecuted.

Ask yourself, who would her daughter blame, if she went to prison.

As for her objecting, to you informing the CT office, your partner is sounding like a potential (if not actual) serial benefit fraudster.

I'm not sure I'd be very sanguine, about associating with someone like that.

2014NewStart

Bedsit_Bob wrote: »

I'm not sure you should be asking her if she wants to call them.

While not, legally, responsible for her criminal behaviour, you will likely be caught in the crossfire (so to speak), if she gets prosecuted.

Ask yourself, who would her daughter blame, if she went to prison.

As for her objecting, to you informing the CT office, your partner is sounding like a potential (if not actual) serial benefit fraudster.

I'm not sure I'd be very sanguine, about associating with someone like that.

You're making it sound so much worse than it is. I know she would be prosecuted but as she would be entitled to virtually the same amount I doubt she'll go prison. I read on MSE that we would get maximum child tax credits if our household income is under £16,010. It is slightly over that so anything over would reduce the tax credit by 41p in the pound. I'm pretty sure if she repaid it straight away from her settlement they wouldn't give her a prison sentence. As I say I can only try.

Before I moved in and before she got her settlement and was seriously in debt I tried to encourage her to get a job to repay the debt. I encouraged her to sign on for income based JSA so they would help her in her job search and she could only handle meeting the requirements and signing on once. She gave up and only got one payment. She's just not interested in claiming DWP benefits. A benefits fraudster that doesn't want to work would just make stuff up to get payment. She won't do that.

[Deleted User]

2014NewStart wrote: »

You're making it sound so much worse than it is.

It's a criminal offence. I don't need to make it sound worse.

I know she would be prosecuted but as she would be entitled to virtually the same amount I doubt she'll go prison.

You're sure about that?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24104743

Also, bear in mind, given the age of her daughter, a Judge isn't going to be swayed much by the cry of "My child needs me".