Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help my smoker partner save money on cigarettes?

Augustus_the_Strong

Offer to buy his cigarettes for him to save him the trouble, if he gives you the money. Then buy them from your cheap source & pocket the difference. Quids in!

Disadvantages of this strategy: he smokes as much as ever; you are being dishonest; the exercise he gets in going out to buy the fags is probably slightly offsetting the damage caused by smoking them.

How about an ultimatum? - quit or we spilt!

Badgersgirl

Stern advice from my father when he discovered I had started smoking at 13 years old:

If you are going to have a habit, don't expect anyone else to fund it!

I can honestly say that no one ever did, but I can also honestly say that as an ex-smoker (20 months and counting!) I don't know how the hell I ever afforded it!

marich

Nicotine is more addictive than heroin . You can only quit if you do 'cold turkey' - if it's not the fags it's the gum or the patches or these e-things . Whatever happens your partner will want to feed his cravings so...

1) Tell him he quits or you leave ! - the nuclear option . (Kiss a non-smoker - taste the difference !)

2) For every packet he gets tax him the same amount - say you want as much as his dealer is getting . Save this money until he's been clean for a year then treat yourselves whichever way you want .

3) Don't faff about trying to save pennies when he's throwing away the pounds . You are helping him afford his habit - he has to stop - for his sake , for yours and for your future together.

4) As a ground-rule make him smoke outside and/or sleep in another room - get tough - make him stop . You are the secondary victim here - ask yourself if you want to spend years in poverty watching him die . Remind yourself that 20-a-day means nearly £3,000 a year ! Have you really got that much to burn ?

Good luck but stay tough - he has to know it , just drive it home hard and don't stop . You will be doing him a favour - you must love him , so just go for it .

Fujiko

Once again there is something about this dilemma which doesn't sound right. If you are telling us that you can buy discounted cigarettes, legally, I don't believe you. I think you must have found some rather dodgy source, eg smuggled, with which you would be extremely foolish to become involved.
As to living with someone who smokes, I wouldn't, but since you already do could I suggest that you do what a non-smoking friend does? Her husband smokes between 20 and 40 a day but never in the house. If he wants to smoke he has to do so outdoors!

riceandpeas

"Quit or we split"? How heartless is that?

I smoked 20 - 30 a day for many years, and I never met a tobacco product I didn't like. I certainly didn't wish to give up.
However I decided to try e-cigs when it became harder to smoke within a 2 mile radius of most places I wanted (or had) to be. After a couple of months of using e-cigs as a supplement, I realised one day that I hadn't had a "real" cig all day and decided to see if I could manage the next day too.
That was over 2 years ago and I haven't had (or wanted) a real ciggy since. What's more I feel better and the cost has dropped from £10 a day to about £15 a month - just as well since I lost my job!

I agree with 'old trout' above. Talk to your partner... but don't nag or threaten cos that never ends happily.

Good luck!

Happygreen

Since I stopped I've refused to get my OH duty frees from travels abroad. I just don't see the point as I want him to stop....There's nothing I can do to help him with it but I'm not going to spend money on cigs either, I'm glad I don't have to any more!

easyhome

Once again there is something about this dilemma which doesn't sound right. If you are telling us that you can buy discounted cigarettes, legally, I don't believe you. I think you must have found some rather dodgy source, eg smuggled, with which you would be extremely foolish to become involved.

Why are so many people not actually reading the OP?

"Sometimes he spends more than he needs to buying them in an expensive shop when I know somewhere I can buy them cheaper"

If I buy a pack of JPS in Tesco's or the Co-op it's anywhere up to £2 cheaper than a M-way service station for example, why jump to the conclusion that the OP is doing anything illegal?

jillmarie

Are these 'cheap' ciggies legal or are they dangerous imports filled with God knows what?
I've never smoked so I can't preach about how bad it is for you but my Mother smoked for most of her life, she died of heart failure, and although my Father would have given her the moon if he could he NEVER EVER bought her ciggies.

pennypinchUK

If you share all your bills/costs with your partner you're only costing yourself more money if you don't buy them cheaper. But if they pay for the fags from their own money let them pay what they want.

WastingMyTime

Do not buy their cigarettes - ever. It shows support of their habit and devalues your dislike of their habit. You will be sending the wrong message.

It is their habit and they should take responsibility to fund it, how ever they see fit, even if you disagree.

If they buy their cigs from pooled finances you must change/re-evaluate the expectations of the budget and gain some control.

Smoking is not essential to survival so in my opinion should not come from pooled finances. I recommend that you both have a certain amount of pocket money that you are individually responsible to ensure you keep within but you can spend on whatever you like.
If they spend it on cigs and can't make pocket money last than that's their problem to resolve not yours to go and find cheaper cigs.