Money Moral Dilemma: Should I help my smoker partner save money on cigarettes?

Tealblue

'Refuse on principle' - which principle would that be? That you should control his life?

patanne

A true moral money dilemma at last not "an illegal but should I ignore it" one. No-one gives up smoking until they are ready to. Some keep being nagged to give up smoking and flatly refuse, once everybody stop having a go they stop. Another friend is in a care home because she wouldn't pack in and is still smoking even though she knows it is killing her. So I would go with persuade him to buy cheaper or get them yourself but get the money up front.

You could try asking him if he wants to be in a care home where he is the only one who knows what day it is and has to be wheelchaired outside to enjoy his cigs. The assistants have to do this or it goes against their human rights, the same as they have to ask a dementia patient if they will take their medication - go figure!

Cimscate

oldtrout wrote: »

:think: ... talk to him about it ... yawn!

Just what I was thinking!

Saetana

Try getting him to switch to rolling tobacco rather than cigarettes - he will save a small fortune. We switched to tobacco when ready made cigarettes hit £3 per pack (a very long time ago) and, whilst we would like to give up, it does keep the expenditure at a much more manageable level than expensive packet cigarettes (£12 per week between us, we do smoke less than 10 a day each though).

Billy_Bonkers

Personally I wouldn't take up with a smoking partner. Health, smell & money issues. Don't some smokers have legs amputated?

A packet of 20 a day it seems would be around £250 a month. Wow, wish I could afford such luxuries. At the end of a year a saving of £3,000 if he packed in. A nice holiday or newer car. Buy him an e-cig for Xmas.

bluecanoe

Consider some of the other costs of smoking:- air freshener, breath mints, more loads in the washing machine, car cleaning, replacing home furnishings.
Seriously, find a non smoker, this guy is way too expensive, smells bad in the mornings and is a ticking healthcare time bomb.

troubleonline

I had similar dilemma in bringing back cigarettes from duty free in Bali for someone (200 for less than the price of 40 in UK). I hate smoking and don't want to be seen as encouraging it but I guess at the end of the day their choice and me not bringing back wont in itself stop them smoking. My moneysaving desire won over - hate to see people getting ripped off or missing a bargain!

They didn't even ask me to which might be worse!!

Don't think I will do again though thinking about it.........

happyinflorida

Are you living together? If not, do what my partner (now husband) did - I smoked when I met him and he said he'd never live with someone who smoked - that was incentive enough for me to give up!

Don't put up with someone who smokes if you don't like it. It will make you ill too as passive smoke is worse. If they don't care enough for you to give up they are not worth staying with - dump them.

DigForVictory

Is your partner independently wealthy? (Has a healthy sum in the bank & other financial assets?)
Has he made a Will in your favour? (Sure?)
Has he heard from at least two medics that this will kill him in under 5 years unless...?

He's still smopking & still with you? Smile, buy him his 20 a day - using his money but from the cheapest source you can, stashing the rest in Krugerrands under your money plant & wait for Anno Domini. Hoping the medics are right.

Or, if you have to pay something towards this habit, nudge him towards vaping instead just so you can save a bit on laundry. Put this towards a funeral plan. Once you can afford said plan, buy it & put the next tranche towards a really nice holiday. It may be solo, but keep the options open.

He will keep on or trade down or quit, as if & when he chooses.
If you choose to facilitate this, then be as financially savvy about it as you can. Only 20 a day may not be worth a cig cruise every quarter, but there are other more pleasant indulgences to enjoy for less across the border. Booze & perfume (always handy for Christmas, do note) as just 2 examples. Just be careful not to overload the vehicle as the police can & will pull you for that.

gloriouslyhappy

You said 'partner', not 'boyfriend' so sounds like you're a committed couple. If he won't / can't give up cigarettes and you want to continue the relationship, then telling him about the cheaper option available and letting him decide whether or not he wants to avail himself of it is probably the friendliest thing to do. In my experience, he has to make up his own mind about quitting, you can let him know your feelings but more than that just leads to constant bickering.