Please help urgent

dancingfairy

I'm unsure whether you didn't explain to the police or whether they misunderstood or what. It doesn't sound right to me though that they can just break into your house for someone who doesn't live there, especially if they have been notified that the person doesn't live there.
I'm glad that they took your health seriously and sent people round though, at least they got that bit right.
Unfortunately, partly due to budget cuts the police aren't always trained in things as much as they should be and they aren't specialist lawyers or even debt advisers. For that reason I would actually not always rely on the police to get such things right, unfortunately. You should try and get hold of National Debtline or Stepchange or even Shelter who can explain things to you.
I'm sorry this has all got on top of you , bailiffs are horrible to deal with and I can't believe your son is putting your through all of this
I hope that you are able to get some rest tonight and that you feel a little brighter in the morning. If you need to talk, I'm sure there will be people around tomorrow and possibly even overnight, however if you feel desperate again please phone the Samaritans. National Debtline are open 9.30 to 1pm tomorrow.
Regards
df
p.s the bailiffs don't actually want your goods. Frankly they just want to put as much pressure on you to pay them as possible. They don't want the hassle of getting a van and arranging storage and taking your goods, that frankly are only going to be worth peanuts. Unless you have a high value tv or laptop or something most peoples household goods generally aren't worth anything. I believe they also have to remove goods to the value of the debt they are chasing which doesn't sound very likely. There are also lots of things like clothes and bedding which they can't take. All in all it is very unlikely they would actually come and take your stuff ( in 7 years of being on here I've heard probably hundreds of people have issues with bailiffs but I don't think I've ever heard of the bailiffs actually taking goods). Yes, they will huff and puff and threaten to blow the house down but at the end of the day they are so unlikely to take your goods.

dogsarecool

Just to let you all know, you all have been so kind, someone on the Consumer Action Group has managed to contact Mardens and they will be looking into everything tomorrow so praying they will accept son doesn't live here and accept the payment plan he offered them.

You have all been so fantastic each and every one of you.

We will get the statuary Declaration done on Monday if car has gone and if it hasn't then hopefully can add just car of sons sitting unusable on our land to it but nothing else.

Bless each of you xxxx:A

Taken a sleeping tablet - just one I promise in hope will sleep and hopefully wake up feeling a bit better and able to deal with things tomorrow

dogsarecool

Wish we did have high value things our tv is old silver one that is 15 years old nothing really is new as income went down and down as hubbys hours were cut so we have bought a lot of things second hand. No flat screen tvs or sky or fancy game machines here, do have an orginal Wii somewhere we got when boys were younger. This pc the newest and its only a cheap one, really slow but not ours fully for another 6 months, our car is now 9 years old so I doubt it would worth much as its only a little thing and my dla pays for the running for it and rest goes for my wheel chair - don't get a mobility car as I cannot drive anymore so get the electric chair instead, cannot cope with a scooter. Son knows he has done wrong and promises he will remove our address from everywhere, I won't hold my breath, we always knew he was hopeless with money. Just lucky we have never been one to want latest things but the little we have mean so much to me, not going out they are my world. My mp3 is ancient but when in bad pain and lying in the dark listening to stories on it is my way of staying sane and someone gave me a second gen ipod which I am very happy with as can use it to download books from a library especially for disabled free of charge. To many its not much but to me its enough.

hugs xxx

hallowitch

dogsarecool wrote: »

Just to let you all know, you all have been so kind, someone on the Consumer Action Group has managed to contact Mardens and they will be looking into everything tomorrow so praying they will accept son doesn't live here and accept the payment plan he offered them.

You have all been so fantastic each and every one of you.

We will get the statuary Declaration done on Monday if car has gone and if it hasn't then hopefully can add just car of sons sitting unusable on our land to it but nothing else.

Bless each of you xxxx:A

Taken a sleeping tablet - just one I promise in hope will sleep and hopefully wake up feeling a bit better and able to deal with things tomorrow

I am very pleased that this is being sorted you have the correct people sorting it out you wont see another Marston bailiff at your door

dancingfairy

Just to clarify- I wasn't having a go about your things and the value of them, merely saying that anybodys second hand items aren't really worth a lot. I hope I didn't offend you, that was definitely not the intention.
I hope you are feeling stronger today.
df

dogsarecool

Dancingfairy I never thought you meant anything bad by it, its true all my stuff is old so if bailiffs were to take things they would have to take it all to cover sons debt.

Someone over in Consumer Action Forum contacted someone in Marsdens over the weekend and the upshot now is my son is very unhappy with me as he thinks I gave them his girl friends address, which I did not as bailiff phoned him this morning and said he was going round there and gave him her address. Son works all over the country in short term jobs, never been able to settle in one place and why he used our address for post etc.

Why is it when you help someone and they have problems its always your fault. I don't know what if anything he has at girlfriends but its my fault now. He was going to call National Debtline again as his pack from them arrived of course at my address this morning so gave him his ref number and their freephone number, no landline of course.

He cannot get it into his head I did not give her address, would never dream of it she is not related to him just girlfriend and how they tracked it down I do not know but he has been seeing her quite a while now, lovely girl don't know how she puts up with him.

I love my son, he has never taken drink, in fact cannot stand it or drugs or been in trouble with police but him and money do not go together ever, we have bailed him out over and over each time he promises that he will start being more responsible but I think now its time for tough love, hate to but cannot see what else to do, any mail comes for him from now on will be sent back and as soon as he gets the car off the side garden we will get the Statuary Declaration done.

Son just phoned back National Debtline told him to call Marsdens again and mention what I have been told was being done behind the scenes by the Consumer Action Forum with their welfare dept. he said on Friday when he phoned they would not listen to anything just kept saying they would come to my house and remove goods but today their attitude was different, they listened as he again offered to pay the £150 off as he did Friday and rest at end of month when he got paid, they totally refused to accept this then. They actually told him if he makes payment today which he did he then has 3 months to clear the rest as if he paid it all at end of the month that would take all his money and they want to ensure he has enough to buy food etc.

As usual son told me all well he got it sorted, he is just incapable of seeing the seriousness of his actions and he would not have it sorted if it was not for the help from people here and consumer forum and he never contacted anyone here it was as usual me doing the sorting out but to him he sorted it.

I am sitting here shaking now, reaction to it all and my mood is still very low so got to get myself together as have doctors soon for a review on how I am.

I know I must let him stand or fall by his actions but I doubt even if he had all his belongings removed by bailiffs he would change.

At least no longer blamed for Mardsens having girlfriends address as my husband remembered his car was parked on pavement by girlfriends when he first sorned it and when he forgot to renew sorn, it was there police went to, to tell him it would be taken if he did not move it, even then he brought it here and though nothing else would be done, he did not believe once it was off the road the police would continue their action against him.


Thank you everyone for being there and helping me.

I am going to try to find someway to get out into the world again instead of living in my bedroom, try and make friends again if anyone will put up with me, not one usually to moan, I usually smile and so everyone things I never have a problem in the world. Someone once asked me what on earth I do with my money as nothing new in house and were amazed when I said we live within our income so cannot afford new this or that only replacing as and when things break by saving up for them. Yes be lovely to have new things or holidays but cannot afford them so will not go into debt for them and now with older son laying out for our trip to Melbourne for his wedding we must be more careful so we can pay him back as quickly as possible. I must keep telling myself I have that to look forward to and my death would stop his wedding being the wonderful one I want them to have.

Thank you all

7roland8

So glad things are finally getting sorted a little for you.


Firstly - don't feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong and being in ill health your son should not allow these things to come back to you like this. He has to learn and I think you are doing the right thing with the post etc.


I hope you get a darned good apology for all this worry - and for him blaming your for the address thing.


Try and take care of yourself - look forward to the wedding - get a new outfit - even if ebay - you can still find something great - and if me a big hat!


I am in the house too like you and know how it can make you feel. Also have grown sons and its hard seeing them make mistakes but they have to learn sooner or later.


Its time to look after yourself now.

moohound

Don't feel bad for living simply and frugally and within your means, it is an excellent way to be Buying fancy stuff you don't need and can't afford is unnecessary and wasteful and only causes misery in the end . You have your other sons wedding to look forward to as well so try to be positive.

JimmyTheWig

dogsarecool wrote: »

As usual son told me all well he got it sorted, he is just incapable of seeing the seriousness of his actions

OP, would you be able to give your son a link to this thread? If he cuold read it - what he's put you through and what various strangers think to that - would it be a wake up call to him?

Herbie21

I am so pleased that this account has finally been sorted out and your son able to repay the debt at the more affordable amount of £150 per month.

I post on Consumer Action Group as Tomtubby and I was the person who managed to get this account suspended and transferred to Marston Group's Welfare Dept last Saturday evening. The information provided to Marston's was your name, your son's name and your current address and the Marston ref number. In between my intervention on Saturday you also contacted National Debt Line who also provided excellent assistance.

We received assurance that you will not receive any further visits or notices. Lets hope that your son now makes payments in a timely manner so that this account gets closed.

I know that you had a dreadful time last week and I hope that you can now put this awful matter aside and concentrate on your own wellbeing.