My ex and his wife won't leave me alone - possible blackmail?

cookie-ned

Hi all,

my ex and I split over four years ago,one child together. We moved out and tried to leave a normal life as possible. It was inevitable that one of us would move on first - it so happened to be me. Since that point,my ex was always ringing and texting and trying to split us up.

My ex then met someone and we breathed a sigh of relief as we thought he would leave us alone. But,what we got was double trouble. since then,I have had nothing but hassle from both of them,abusive texts,finding out my new addresses (police advised me to move,yet they have found out my new address twice and they know my current address). I have tried several times over the years to get my things back - mainly sentimental items - but I've been told I can only have them back if I take over a loan in his name,pay his bills and such.

He since married his girlfriend this year and we again thought they would leave us alone but it has got a lot worse. His wife said that she knows where I would live,what she would do to me if she ever saw me and when my daughter is with them,they say nasty things to her about me which she tells me about,which upsets her and its clearly having an affect on her. short of not letting her see her dad - which I do not want to do - I don't know what to do.

We also had a loan together,which he was a guarantor for. we spent the money on joint things before we split up,such as a holiday and general home improvements. After we split up,I was in and out of hospital for a few months and I did miss payments but my ex never requested the money to be paid back. Now he's sent a letter saying if I don't pay the money within seven days,he will take me to court. he has never asked for the money before and the way the letter is written,I can tell he didn't write it as its very comprehensive for him,and they couldnt even spell my name right,which is another give away that he didnt write it. It's just a letter that has been printed at home. We didn't have any agreement what would happen if I missed a payment and he had to pay as a guarantor as we were together at the time,and split all bills anyway.

I am just at my wits end with over four years of demanding money,not letting me have my things back,lying to my daughter and just generally what I feel is trying to destroy me. I don't know what to do,his behaviour pushed me over the edge before and I'm scared it will happen again. I am also scared it will destroy my relationship with my partner who is also fed up. We leave my ex and his wife alone as we give them the privacy and respect we would give anyone trying to live a life together. And that's all we crave,just to be left alone.

I have told the police before,and despite the evidence,they say they couldn't do anything.

Thanks for any advice

clarryd

I think you can go to court and get a restraining order to keep them both away from you. You need to go see a solicitor as they will know which legal route to take. If you have any proof that they are blackmailing you take that with you to the solicitors as everyone likes a bit of proof either in text messages, recorded threats or even a letter.

I also think you are entitled to pay the loan back as much as he is, you took it out together, spent it together, so should then pay it back together, so I do agree that he is right there. Try to make a repayment agreement with him (this has nothing to do with his new wife) which you can afford to give each week/month.

He has no legal rights to keep your belongings as they are yours so he should be told to give them back, either by a letter from a solicitor or even a small claims court.

Try seeking help tomorrow and put a stop to this before you make yourself very ill again.

You didn't say how old your daughter is but as she gets older she will see them both for what they are bullies. So don't worry about them turning her against you she knows the truth.

Good Luck.

cookie-ned

Thank you clarryd. I have paid the majority of the loan back,out of 48 payments,I have made 38 and he made 10 - most of which when we were still together. my daughter is nine,and she's very warey of her stepmother,she always has been,as has my ex's family - to the point they tried to stop the wedding. I can understand what break ups do to people and the fact my ex said he was heartbroken over our split,but for his wife to make my life hell as well is just not fair. She thinks she can get away with it but I can't say anything to her or she will accuse me of racism again.