Help! I can't stop spending

PenguinJim

VanyaHargreeves wrote: »

Another thing I've found really helps me when it comes to shopping, is to do other peoples' shopping! I started doing this when I realised that it's the actual buying of the things that makes me happy, not the HAVING things. At my worst, I used to go shopping every day, and the things would rarely even make it out of the shopping bags.

You don't get quite so much of a kick out of it, but you get something, and most of the time your family/friends will be SO grateful for you doing the grocery run, or other mundane shopping tasks that they don't fancy doing. Win-win!

I do this too, but online. Friends need a new computer building? A new TV? A new house in Kirkcaldy? I shop around and find the best deals. Feeds the consumer in me without having to actually spend anything. And it's good practice for those rare occasions where I do need to buy something - I can find the best item at the best price quite quickly, and be aware of various offers/coupons/cashbacks that are often overlooked by non-MSEs! :beer:

dgtazzman

You sound like my (soon to be ex) wife. She regularly bites off more than she can chew, sticks it on credit saying she'll pay it off next month and then struggles to stop herself spending the money the next month before paying the balance of from the previous month. I've always been strict with her and told her no, kept her in check, but it seems she's fed up of being kept from throwing herself off a financial cliff and has left me, go figure, that's what I get for trying to be a good husband ^^

Gotta get our finances separated asap now, before she does jump off that cliff and damages my credit file too...

Cut up those cards and take away the temptation, then start paying down the balance asap, even if it is only 25-50 pounds a month, it shows determination to sort the problem.

rockm87

you need to avoid shiny temptations.

unsubscribe from 'bargain' or groupon emails. you dont need it, however cheap it is, you dont need it.

dont go shopping, find something else thats free to concentrate your time and energy on.

Read mymoneymustache blog, you will feel so much better about 'stuff' and will probably lose the compulision to shop.

edpvito

Addictive behaviours are expensive and at the root of most problems on this site. I've been using ynab for a couple of months and I spent £200 on booze (£70), gambling (£30) and junk food (£100) in the last month. A tax on the weak of will! Its good to acknowledge though and try and reduce it.

ampersand

' theres a euphoria that comes when i spend money and i dont understand it'
#
Among much help already here[esp. those carrying debt-free wannabe targets], karen's posts 12 and 10 have it spot on.
'You have identified the euphoria from spending - that's addiction right there.'

Of course you can cut up your cards which are crutch/
comfort blanket/ fix/ safety net/ addiction - give it any name you like............

You know how to use scissors.

Don't think this is hardline, please suzie. You might take a look at my siggie.

There are other ways of hitting - not euphoria - which is not a natural continuing state, but contentment and pleasure and a realistic sense of self-worth. These are enduring, impressive, permanent and they grow with you.

If your username tells us your age, you have plenty of time for this. Any longterm future partnership you make will be either enhanced or wrecked by your actions now.

Does work allow you any time for even a tiny but regular volunteering slot?

You deserve so much better for yourself. No-one can convince you of this[although quite a few are trying:-)], but you will feel set free the moment those plastic manacles are destroyed.

At this moment, you slay your demons.

Try.

fedupandskint

Having been in a similar position in the past but by a further x 40, I froze all my credit cards in a cup of water in the freezer to stop my spending on them and put them in the back of the freezer drawer.

I also deleted all cards from all online accounts then learnt how to spend cash, no credit and how to budget. I no longer have any credit cards as after I paid off all 4 last year by knuckling down, paying them off and no buying anything for most of the year.

I had a bigger smile on my face once the card was paid off and closed down and I cut up the card than any time I spent on them. That was elation and euphoria.

Be strong, make a decision and stick to it otherwise nothing will change at all until the penny drops and believe me I know that.

discodiva123

I really feel for you as I have lived like that but you have to be tough on yourself. I have a credit card but I'm paying it off once this goes then I will attack the overdraft.


Budgeting is hard and for me its a constant struggle. I spend a lot of money on stuff I don't need.


So to help myself I've made a few changes maybe you could make them too


I love going out especially for nights out but drinks aren't cheap twice this month I choose to drive which is a new thing for me, I still get to go out with my friends but just buy soft drinks and no nasty hangover for me the next day.


Sell stuff you don't need to get some extra cash to throw at the debts, currently going through stuff for a car boot need to get rid of stuff I no longer need then anything I make goes onto clearing the debt. Also add a few bits and bobs to ebay.


Look for free days out you can do free festivals, museums whatever takes your fancy. sign uo for a free tastecard trial if you eat out that has some good offers.


Take each day as it comes and don't be too hard on yourself. There will be times when you have good days and bad but just keep working on having good ones.


Best of Luck, I'm sure more people on here will have a lot more advice, Just thought Id state how I try to change my life for the better. Everyday can be a challenge but its always better to face it now than never.

Teacher2

Hi there susieq87,

I have just found this thread and have read through the posts. Have you cut up the cards yet? That seemed to be the most frequent piece of advice and the most useful.

susieq87

thank you everyone for your support. i did cut up my aqua and lloyds card. i still have my barclaycard but i would like to take this out of my purse and put it in a drawer for emergencies.
i got paid today and my first thought as i was coming into work was what i was going to buy, thank God i logged onto MSE before amazon! i am going to go to amazon and delete all the cards registered, paypal has the same so will do so too for when i go onto ebay.

i am planning on paying off the barclaycard next month with the disposable income i am supposed to save and vow not to use it.

as one poster advised transferring money to one account i do this already but i always find myself transferring it back, £50 here, £20 there, £100 and before you know it its mid month and all money is gone. on what? i wouldnt be able to tell you, i have nothing to show for it but receipts from expensive meals, silly bits and bobs so i bring out the credit card
i am sincerely hoping that this month will be better. i will revisit this thread everytime i feel tempted.

ampersand

:j:T:AWELL DONE SUZIE!:A:T:j

:)' i :money:did :money:cut up :money:my :money:aqua :money:and:money: lloyds :money:card.:money:':):D

You should now post here EVERY DAY, totting up extra-special NSD's.

It's a terrific thing you have done, really wonderful.

This is euphoria:-) Amazon and bay of e chapters eagerly awaited.

I am so, so pleased. You know there are lots of Diaries started by msers for this sort of daily check.