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Help! I can't stop spending

susieq87
Posts: 200 Forumite
i am actually very ashamed to write this post because i know what i am doing but i just cannot stop.
i posted a thread in april when i got my job and was so excited at the disposable income i had (£500) i set aside £200 from that £500 for entertainment and plan on saving the £300. the first month this didnt go too well, i spent the whole £500 before the month ended so the next month i upped my monthly budget to £300 and tried to exercise some discipline, i spent that plus the remaining £200 as well.
here's where it gets worse; (hangs head in shame) when i moved out of my parents' house to my own flat i got an argos card to buy bits and bobs for my flat, they gave me £750 limit and i spent about £300. i also got an aqua credit card to buy the other bits not avail on argos and got a limit of £200, at the same time lloyds sent me a letter offering me a credit card and i responded and they gave me £500 limit.
3 months later (present day) aqua increased my limit to £400 and now my balance stands at £380.
my lloyds card is at £470
i also applied for a barclaycard hoping to do a balance transfer as they were offering 36 months 0% interest but they gave me a credit card with £250 limit but no balance transfer deal. i was disappointed by this and decided that i wouldnt use the card since it wasnt going to serve the purpose i got it for. i put the card in my purse and now my balance is £140.
i am honestly close to tears whilst typing this because i can see whats happening i just cannot stop it. the shameful thing is that i am not spending the money on sensible things, its going to nights out, house stuff (which is not important). for years i was debt free because my credit was bad and now that it has improved i just cannot stop borrowing! every month when i get paid i tell myself that i am going to be disciplined, i am going to take packed lunches to work, i am not going to use my credit cards and the £300 set aside for the month which works out to be £75 a week is more than enough but i always fail.
i have said to myself that i will use the disposable income to pay off the credit cards but what is the point if i am only going to spend the money on the credit cards anyway? the only way i can "save" is when i lend people the money but as soon as they give it back, it disappears.
sorry for the rant but my lack of discipline is really getting me down and i am starting to worry about myself since i cannot seem to stop
i posted a thread in april when i got my job and was so excited at the disposable income i had (£500) i set aside £200 from that £500 for entertainment and plan on saving the £300. the first month this didnt go too well, i spent the whole £500 before the month ended so the next month i upped my monthly budget to £300 and tried to exercise some discipline, i spent that plus the remaining £200 as well.
here's where it gets worse; (hangs head in shame) when i moved out of my parents' house to my own flat i got an argos card to buy bits and bobs for my flat, they gave me £750 limit and i spent about £300. i also got an aqua credit card to buy the other bits not avail on argos and got a limit of £200, at the same time lloyds sent me a letter offering me a credit card and i responded and they gave me £500 limit.
3 months later (present day) aqua increased my limit to £400 and now my balance stands at £380.
my lloyds card is at £470
i also applied for a barclaycard hoping to do a balance transfer as they were offering 36 months 0% interest but they gave me a credit card with £250 limit but no balance transfer deal. i was disappointed by this and decided that i wouldnt use the card since it wasnt going to serve the purpose i got it for. i put the card in my purse and now my balance is £140.
i am honestly close to tears whilst typing this because i can see whats happening i just cannot stop it. the shameful thing is that i am not spending the money on sensible things, its going to nights out, house stuff (which is not important). for years i was debt free because my credit was bad and now that it has improved i just cannot stop borrowing! every month when i get paid i tell myself that i am going to be disciplined, i am going to take packed lunches to work, i am not going to use my credit cards and the £300 set aside for the month which works out to be £75 a week is more than enough but i always fail.
i have said to myself that i will use the disposable income to pay off the credit cards but what is the point if i am only going to spend the money on the credit cards anyway? the only way i can "save" is when i lend people the money but as soon as they give it back, it disappears.
sorry for the rant but my lack of discipline is really getting me down and i am starting to worry about myself since i cannot seem to stop

Don't sweat the small stuff
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Comments
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Hi
Time to get tough with yourself. You realise it is becoming a problem so get strict with yourself now before it gets past a point of being easily repairable.
So you have 4 credit cards with £1300 debt across them? at the very least take them out your wallet and keep them at home somewhere safe. Better still cut 3 of them up.
You might also consider leaving your debit card at home most of the time.
Are you paid monthly? do you have online banking set up?
on your next payday decide on an amount to repay your debts - I would probably go for £300 and straight after payday pay that to your credit cards (minimums to the 3 lowest aprs and the rest to the most expensive card - probably aqua).
If your cards are cut up then you will then only have the £200 disposable income to spend for next month.
I would keep doing the same every month until at least 3 of the cards are cleared, preferably all 4.
You have built up this debt in 4months, at £300 a month with interest it will probably take you 6months to clear it.
You will still have £200 a month for luxuries and entertaiment, which really shouldn't be any hardship.
When the debts are cleared you may then want to switch to putting money in a savings account each payday - perhaps setting up a standing order of £250 a month at that stage.A smile enriches those who receive without making poorer those who giveor "It costs nowt to be nice"0 -
I would personally cut up the credit cards, if you dont have it, you cant spend itDebt free once - Back again | Current debt: £2479.50 - January 2025 | Make £2025 in 2025 #11 - £41/£20250
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I don't know what you hope to achieve by telling us your story. You know exactly what you need to do to sort your finances.
Cutting up at least 3 of your cards would be a good start. Thus removing the ability to run up credit.
Dipping deeply into that alien concept of self control would also help.I can afford anything that I want.
Just so long as I don't want much.0 -
Yes, cut up the cards and only spend actual cash. We can't do it for you, you have to get a grip.
IlonaI love skip diving.0 -
I am addicted to shopping. I used to feed my addiction with credit.
It took a drastic change of circumstance causing a financial meltdown, a SOA of -£1,000 a month and a repossession leading to a shortfall of £70k to make me adjust.
It didn't cure me of my shopping addiction. However, it sure cured me of doing it using credit (since credit was impossible).
It made me completely rescale shopping. While I used to buy the biggest shiny thing in the local gadget store as soon as it was out, I now shop in a local supermarket on the way home from work. I would never have believed that buying good quality ingredients for tea and cooking those up could be as good as owning an Iphone.
A cheaper smartphone (for example) isn't actually a major lifestyle compromise as it happens.
But it does work.
You don't need to go cold turkey on shopping to go cold turkey on credit.BSC No 248
Free, confidential advice
National Debtline 0808 808 4000 | StepChange 0800 138 1111 | CAB - Get Advice
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The spending actual cash is always a good route. Take out enough each week to cover your spending, and actually spend it, as cash. When it's gone, it's gone. If you spend it early, go hungry. To avoid that, buy some food that will keep, out of the first week's money.0
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if you love doing homey things and let's face it who doesn't in their first homes get some books from the library about being creative, and haunt second hand shops, charity shops, and the local auctions.
You'll get just the same kick, but pay cash, and spend not a lot.0 -
Hi,
Well, getting rid of debt is like weight loss (I have experience of both) & you can wring your hands & say you don't want to run up more debt as much as you like, but if you don't start making the right choices, nothing will change. It's like a person who desperately wants to be thin but lives on take-aways, chips & chocolate.....wishing it isn't enough, the next time a choice occurs I.e Shall I order a pizza? Make a different choice. That's what you have to do with your money. Nobody is forcing you to spend it. You pick up an item in the shop, say a great cushion. Your choices are a)Buy this even though I will effectively be using somebody else's money & increasing my debt b) Don't buy it. Chances are it isn't essential & there is no money allocated for it in your monthly budget. It's ultimately about choices. I know spending can get addictive, I spent over 2 decades as an overspender who never bothered to budget, but tell yourself that by continuing to overspend, you are choosing debt. There really is no situation in life which is improved by being in debt & I wish my lightbulb moment had kicked in 20 years earlier than it did. As a past overspender, I'm telling you honestly that there is absolutely NO bag of tat I could bring home now that would make me feel as good as being in control of my money does after all those years. So, first thing is to cut up those credit cards. Nobody needs all those. I have one for emergencies in case I'm unlucky enough to have a crisis which is too big for my emergency fund to cover. By emergencies, I mean things like water pouring through the roof, not needing an 'emergency dress, boots or trip to the Clinique counter, all of which I've done in the past. Choice by choice you can do this. "I can't stop spending"....... You can, by putting the item down instead of going to the counter with it! Start today! Good luck x2025's challenges: 1) To fill our 10 Savings Pots to their healthiest level ever
2) To read 100 books (10/100)
"Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards" (Soren Kirkegaard 1813-55)0 -
Hi. I would suggest this is symptomatic of something else - does your sense of self depend on 'treats' or 'rewards'? Are you unhappy in some area of your life?
Whatever the cause, you are robbing from your future self, and if you don't stop now you will carry on until you are at your limit and then you will be screwed - no holidays, no nights out, no choices at all - well, none that feel good. If you want to stop you need to either get some counselling to explore why you are behaving in this way and stop it or treat it like any other addiction and accept you cannot trust yourself with credit and cut the cards off and call the creditors and reduce the limit on your cards. If you want to know how hideous the future could be, read the suicide thread or the dmp thread. Many of us are living with the consequences of debt hell and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Talk to someone - is there someone you can give your cards to that you trust if you cant cut them up? Also I didn't know this until just now but there is an organisation called debtors anonymous. Might be worth a look. Good luck.Debt at highest - June 2013 - 26k/ March 2018 - 2500
Proud to be dealing with my debts0 -
thank you everyone. i was nervous to revisit this thread out of fear of being told off! i have 2 of my credit in my purse right now and i REALLY want to cut up the aqua card and keep the barclaycard for emergencies but i'm scared. i dont know what i'm scared off. i dont have the lloyds card to hand but i keep the card details on my work computer (its very secure and password protected) so i have the details right in front of me when i need to buy something on line *sigh* i will start off by deleting those details and i WILL cut up that aqua card.
next payday i will pay the aqua balance with the disposable cash and since i will not have the card anymore that debt will be safe.
i know i need to practice self-discipline. i know this.if you love doing homey things and let's face it who doesn't in their first homes get some books from the library about being creative, and haunt second hand shops, charity shops, and the local auctions.
You'll get just the same kick, but pay cash, and spend not a lot.Hi,
Well, getting rid of debt is like weight loss (I have experience of both) & you can wring your hands & say you don't want to run up more debt as much as you like, but if you don't start making the right choices, nothing will change. It's like a person who desperately wants to be thin but lives on take-aways, chips & chocolate.....wishing it isn't enough, the next time a choice occurs I.e Shall I order a pizza?Hi. I would suggest this is symptomatic of something else - does your sense of self depend on 'treats' or 'rewards'? Are you unhappy in some area of your life?Don't sweat the small stuff0
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