The Great Hunt: Tips to tell your 18-year-old self

ancientmum

I would tell myself to ditch that new boyfriend and go to college like I originally plannned.

aloiseb

Go interrailing. Make sure you have enough cash to do it, but I think everybody should if you can - nobody can take away those memories, and your mind will be broadened by seeing other cultures.

I would love to do it all again, but my DP doesn't want to go to youth hostels or anywhere daring, now we are older and creakier....:o

Seakay

RocketGirl wrote: »

Hi All my 18yr old just got dreadful AS results and has sort-of given up on study, he is directionless and just plays on his computer all day/night.
What can I do to encourage him to live his life and get out of his bedroom!!!

Explain that as a responsible adult who has finished with education he will be charged rent.

Alchemilla

Rocket girl can he not get a place through clearing?

I would tell an 18 year old to read Mr Money Mustache and invest waay more than ten percent when earning.

TheGardener

Learn what a credit score is and once you have one, look after it.

Learn and practice the principles of saving

If you borrow your parents car - put as least as much petrol as you have used back in it before you hand back the keys (and put the Macdonalds bag in the bin - not under the passenger seat)

ambyence

Hippipal wrote: »

Decisions you make at 18 do not have to define the rest of your life, if you make a mistake it is possible to change.
You don't have to get a degree to have a good future. Have more confidence in your abilities.
Be brave and try some things that scare you.

I wish I could thank this more than once :T

ambyence

In about two months from now, you are going to be depressed, anxious and two weeks from hospitalisation, thanks to silent pneumonia. Cheerful start, innit? :rotfl:
Wake up. Stretch. You have bipolar. It's fine. Phone your auntie more.
You will have a back injury. You will learn to walk in a new way. Acupuncture is amazing. Do some yoga. :j
Phone your parents and brothers and sisters more.
Talk to your cousins more. They're cool.
Hang out with your nieces and nephews more. They're really cool.
Embrace your friends, they are the family you get to pick.
Don't worry about losing touch with people. If they are meant to come back to you in 10 years they will.
Don't worry. I know you will anyway because I'm 14 years ahead of you.
Your current boyfriend is an idiot. The next one will be nicer. (You'll completely mess that one up, though.)
Your 1996 boyfriend that you were obsessed with for all of four weeks will become your best male friend (apart from the one you marry. Yeah, you get married. I know.) You will worry about them both forever but they will always turn up eventually. You will still be friends in your old age. Probably living in a hippy commune that you made out of another friend's spare field with your mate who's now in Australia. Bet you can guess which one I'm talking about...
You will fail at driving, A Levels and uni. You will then win at driving, A Levels and uni. It will just take you a bit longer than everyone else.
Have fun at college. Oh, you already are. Good.
Don't compare yourself to friends who you believe to be more successful than you.
Getting married is expensive. Try and save up.
Lots of people will confide in you. A cup of tea and a chat is good.
Stop drinking coffee. It doesn't love you any more.
You've got really nice neighbours. Appreciate them.
Have a bit of chocolate. It's all going to work out OK

wishus

18 year old me...

It's all going to be fine.

You think you are probably going to be a writer. Yeah, you gotta work at that, it doesn't just happen.

Don't expect each decision you make to be a stepping stone to that place you want to be. Some of them tip you in the water, but it's okay, because you can find another way round.

Don't judge people too harshly. Even if they are stupid.

You will have your heart broken. It happens. You'll be fine.

You need to eat better. Chips are not a vegetable. And your mate was only joking when he said you had a big bum... that's not a good excuse to drop down to six and a half stone.

Friends are full of 'good' advice: "You're too nice to cope with performing." "You'll be lonely unless you move in with us." "You can't do your studies and work at the radio station." "Let's drink before we go out to save money." "Forget you hate driving; you need to keep learning or employers won't want you." "Mashed potato powder stops you feeling hungry" Every gut feeling you had turned out to be right. You should listen to it more!

So what if some people misunderstand your motives - they don't want to. You know the lovely people who do.

That said, don't worry about those opportunities missed... if you want something don't give up, keep working for it.

Watch out for the food thieves! Hide a fiver from yourself somewhere in your room, because they will strike when the campus ATMs are all down.

You're good with money if you only have yourself to worry about. Keep that going as long as you can!

BigAde

Work out what you want from your life. Don't just blindly follow the herd into a degree at university - it's not the no-brainer decision it once was... you'll be in debt for years/decades to come. If you do it, fine, but make sure it's worth it for YOU.

Have fun while you're young, but at the same time don't spend what you don't have...live within your limits. Avoid all debt where at all possible with the exception of a mortgage; even then, make sure it's affordable, not just now but in the years to come.

Work out what is a 'need' and what is a 'want'. If you really think about it very few things are needs: food, water, shelter etc.

Teacher2

RocketGirl wrote: »

Hi All my 18yr old just got dreadful AS results and has sort-of given up on study, he is directionless and just plays on his computer all day/night.
What can I do to encourage him to live his life and get out of his bedroom!!!

Don't worry about it. Mine got reasonable AS results but decided he didn't want to continue with school and cooked up a plan to leave. His plan was to annoy the school and teachers so much he would be thrown out! His father and I were summoned to an 'exit' meeting with the head. We took time off work, dressed in suits and begged for a second chance for him. He was allowed to stay and, though his grades all fell (some by two alas) at A2 level he left with some qualifications.

After a year of doing nothing in his room he announced that he was going to apply to university and got into a decent place to study politics by phoning the university on A2 results/clearing day. As a, by now, mature student willing to pay the fees he was welcomed and, cut a long one short, graduated with a 2:2 degree. Four years on he has three days a week working with a local charity and is their operations manager. I am really proud of him as he hes achieved his promotion by hard work and dedication.

Eighteen year old boys are often confused, hormonal, unreasonable and totally infuriating. If you can bear to, keep your patience and be persistent in pointing out the virtues of qualifications, reponsibility, the need to earn a living and to be independent and the possibility of happiness in future life. Having taught for 34 years I can attest that it is not just my son but also many, many boys who are difficult and problematic at 18.

It took a great deal of time to turn my boy round and he isn't totally 'there' yet. it has always been 'two steps forward, one step back' with him. But from being an angry, selfish and miserable individual he is now, at 25, a happy, useful (sometimes, somewhat) young man. He's paying tax and, with his new contract, has started paying 'keep' towards household expenses, which, unbeknown to him, we will save for his future.

And it does look now as if he will have a future - as will your lad if you keep being positive but firm. Good luck. you'll need it!