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Staring it in the eye
Comments
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Just on my way to work after the doc's appointment. Got to say i can kind of understand why people don't bother. Don't really feel she listened. If she was lisyening, then why would you tell a person who says they feel isolated, disconnected and as if they are unable to make meaningful connections... that they may find talking to people helpful.
In the end we settled on a self-referral for computerised CBT. No idea what to expect there. I was told to exercise more (despite highlighting i'm busy and active) and to make another appointment with her in 6-8 weeks IF i don't feel any better.
Sigh. Fine, i'll fix myself. Don't really know why i let anyone convince me approaching doctors was what you're meant to do. It just compounds that sense of hopelessness.
On another note, yet another party that was a flop.If you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0 -
Now that's curious. It would seem that what you consider "intellectual" is just a function of your worldview. I would have said (from my point of view) an "intellectual" was somebody who knew all the works of Plato - or something classical like that.
Yes, for me it's about someone who's knowledgeable or learned, but that doesn't have to be academically for me. Just someone who explores life, learning, and all things interesting and is capable of articulating various viewpoints on them.It should never be that frantic a search. It should only be frantic when you've found them...
And yet there are many who do believe in the frantic search! It's not like we're ferrets.Lots of people live with their parents. It's a function of high houseprices (and commensurately high rents) and poor job quality.
I know, I just find it incredibly restrictive and not so good for my already crappy social life. When I was in my own place, if you didn't have money you just hung out and watched movies, etc but I don't really feel comfortable doing that here.And you do actually have a job.
Very true! I'm also going above my bossman's head and one of the directors has agreed to me being trained on the web department. A far more interesting job and one that I think involves more transferable skills, should I require them in the future.Of course at some stage it turns in a feeling of being used. Things tend to get a bit sour at that point.
That's generally what I avoid. I don't like feeling like that so I certainly wouldn't want anyone else feeling like that.If you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0 -
Just on my way to work after the doc's appointment. Got to say i can kind of understand why people don't bother. Don't really feel she listened. If she was lisyening, then why would you tell a person who says they feel isolated, disconnected and as if they are unable to make meaningful connections... that they may find talking to people helpful.
Because they have a learned script, and it is not deviated from unless you have a good GP. So for example, a while ago, I had a conversation a bit like this:- You should lose weight. It will be good for your blood pressure.
- Good in what way?
- It'll lower it - that's good.
- This is the blood pressure I'm having to take tablets for to artificially raise it as it's too low - right?
In the end we settled on a self-referral for computerised CBT.
So, you feel isolated, disconnected and as if you are unable to make meaningful connections, and so sitting in front of a computer is going to fix that for you... :doh:No idea what to expect there. I was told to exercise more (despite highlighting i'm busy and active)
More of the script. Essentially at one time, someone discovered exercise released endorphins, which make you feel good. Since everything is now focussed on getting you to exercise, cut down sugar, cut down salt - releasing endorphins is the new manta for everything.
Just you wait until someone discovers them being released by regular bowel movement - there will be no stopping GPs. Of course masturbation also releases hoards of endorphins, but you never see GPs recommending that...
"If you exercise more, world peace will break out."
"Cutting out salt and sugar will cause war to stop not only within this galaxy, but nearby ones too."
Of course don't mention to GPs that nobbling endorphins actually helps control depersonalisation - that just muddies the script.and to make another appointment with her in 6-8 weeks IF i don't feel any better.
Sigh. Fine, i'll fix myself. Don't really know why i let anyone convince me approaching doctors was what you're meant to do. It just compounds that sense of hopelessness.
It's not *your* hopelessness. It's theirs. :grouphug:On another note, yet another party that was a flop.
Are you running post-mortems on these parties to see what goes wrong and what needs tighter control?Yes, for me it's about someone who's knowledgeable or learned, but that doesn't have to be academically for me. Just someone who explores life, learning, and all things interesting
"Interesting" varies from person to person. Go to a Trekkie convention for proof of that...I know, I just find it incredibly restrictive and not so good for my already crappy social life. When I was in my own place, if you didn't have money you just hung out and watched movies, etc but I don't really feel comfortable doing that here.
What do you do there?Very true! I'm also going above my bossman's head and one of the directors has agreed to me being trained on the web department. A far more interesting job and one that I think involves more transferable skills, should I require them in the future.
You always require skills. Sometimes in the strangest of circumstances.That's generally what I avoid. I don't like feeling like that so I certainly wouldn't want anyone else feeling like that.
It often works well in the beginning, but is poisonous longer-term."Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
This is the blood pressure I'm having to take tablets for to artificially raise it as it's too low - right?
That's just ridiculous! I'm curious as to what the response to that was..., you feel isolated, disconnected and as if you are unable to make meaningful connections, and so sitting in front of a computer is going to fix that for you... :doh:
The irony is not lost on me. I especially love that she wasn't particularly familiar with the form she gave me either so she clearly doesn't really know what she's recommended for me. She basically said "You could have me refer you for counselling which could take many weeks or, if you are good with computers, you could see if computerised CBT works for you".
Fortunately I have a little understanding of mental health and approaches, so CBT isn't an entirely new concept to me. It's not something I've ever tried so I don't know how effective it will be, nor do I know how you go about doing it online... On the form there was also a couple of groups like "self-esteem" and "confidence" groups, so I ticked those boxes as well as a couple of others, with a little note next to them saying "no idea what I need or when".More of the script. Essentially at one time, someone discovered exercise released endorphins, which make you feel good. Since everything is now focussed on getting you to exercise, cut down sugar, cut down salt - releasing endorphins is the new manta for everything.
Which is one of the many reasons I try to stick to it, but it's just daft that she's recommending something I've already told her I do. I basically gave her a list of ways I've tried to self-manage my mood and how things have changed and what effect it has on me.
I suppose they have to feel they've given you some new info, even if they haven't. Can't have them feeling redundant!Just you wait until someone discovers them being released by regular bowel movement - there will be no stopping GPs. Of course masturbation also releases hoards of endorphins, but you never see GPs recommending that...
I should totally market sex toys in depression forums. haha!"Cutting out salt and sugar will cause war to stop not only within this galaxy, but nearby ones too."
This reminds me of a discussion in Voltaire's 'Candide, or Optimism' in which one of the black workers says that the price of sugar is their limbs (hands for theft, legs for trying to escape). Which I feel follows onto it being considered 'white gold' and lots of crazy things happen where treasure is concerned. Maybe cutting it out isn't such a bad idea if I think of it like that... Too big a drug to go cold turkey from though.Of course don't mention to GPs that nobbling endorphins actually helps control depersonalisation - that just muddies the script.
I'll try to remember that! :TIt's not *your* hopelessness. It's theirs. :grouphug:
:kisses3:Are you running post-mortems on these parties to see what goes wrong and what needs tighter control?
I know what the problem is - no bloody guests! I can't make their friends turn up, sadly
After I've done the ones already booked in, I'm just going to stick to doing them from home every couple of months (mum hosts) or taking orders when discounts are offered to repeat orders and such. Not a particularly great income from that approach, but I'll be spending less than I am organising parties and raffles etc."Interesting" varies from person to person. Go to a Trekkie convention for proof of that...
I actually do think they're interesting. I find anyone with a passion for SOMETHING interesting. I may not agree on what they love, but I find their passion interesting to listen to. The only reason I avoid footy fanatics is because it's total overkill. Nothing remotely original about a lad being obsessed with football.What do you do there?
Mostly stay in my room. Reading, studying, researching on the internet, listening/watching TEDx talks, listening to music, arguing with the cat when she tries to eat my feet... occasionally cooking. The fun never stops, I assure you.If you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0 -
That's just ridiculous! I'm curious as to what the response to that was...
Embarrassed silence. There's no comeback from that. It was obviously a well-worn route to a well-worn conversation that was started along without realising the bridge was out.Fortunately I have a little understanding of mental health and approaches, so CBT isn't an entirely new concept to me. It's not something I've ever tried so I don't know how effective it will be,
Well, if you don't know how well it's going to work for you, you'll have to go through it to see how well it works for you.Which is one of the many reasons I try to stick to it, but it's just daft that she's recommending something I've already told her I do. I basically gave her a list of ways I've tried to self-manage my mood and how things have changed and what effect it has on me.
I suppose they have to feel they've given you some new info, even if they haven't. Can't have them feeling redundant!
Got to appear helpless. Even if you're not.I should totally market sex toys in depression forums. haha!
Marketing opportunities rise in all sorts of circumstances...Maybe cutting it out isn't such a bad idea if I think of it like that... Too big a drug to go cold turkey from though.
Sugar is a big one, and will be difficult to cut out completely unless you stop eating processed food. Don't replace it with artificial sweeteners though - that's worse.
Even if you do stuff like just stop taking it in tea/coffee - it's a start.Not a particularly great income from that approach, but I'll be spending less than I am organising parties and raffles etc.
Income is payment in, minus expenditure - so you will probably make more.I actually do think they're interesting. I find anyone with a passion for SOMETHING interesting. I may not agree on what they love, but I find their passion interesting to listen to.
Is it the intensity of emotion, or their depth of knowledge?The only reason I avoid footy fanatics is because it's total overkill. Nothing remotely original about a lad being obsessed with football.
I get that sort of thing at work: "You'll know him. He scored a hat-trick for Leeds against Liverpool in 1976..."
:think:
Nope...
:rotfl:
Contrary to popular belief, I don't know everything, and soap-operas and sport I know absolutely *zero* about...Mostly stay in my room. Reading, studying, researching on the internet,
Is this just to do with your course, or do you have outside interests?listening/watching TEDx talks, listening to music, arguing with the cat when she tries to eat my feet... occasionally cooking. The fun never stops, I assure you.
So how is it different when you have your own place, apart from the 4 walls are further apart?"Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
Embarrassed silence. There's no comeback from that. It was obviously a well-worn route to a well-worn conversation that was started along without realising the bridge was out.
I just find it really sad that the people who wield so much power and have so much influence over the masses fail to even cover the basics of patient care. It's a no wonder many slip under the radar.Well, if you don't know how well it's going to work for you, you'll have to go through it to see how well it works for you.
I thought that too. Posted the application today.Marketing opportunities rise in all sorts of circumstances...
Just a case of remaining alert so you don't miss them, I guess :PSugar is a big one, and will be difficult to cut out completely unless you stop eating processed food. Don't replace it with artificial sweeteners though - that's worse.
Even if you do stuff like just stop taking it in tea/coffee - it's a start.
I don't eat much processed and generally I now notice if there's excess sugar or salt in food as "flavour enhances" (seems a little ridiculous to me). I also rarely drink caffeine now but only take a small amount of sugar if I have coffee.
It's just chocolate that tends to be the problem. Especially when I'm low in mood. I know that such foods play tricks, and only end up making things worse, but haven't yet managed to sever its hold on me.Income is payment in, minus expenditure - so you will probably make more.
That's what I thought. Orders are definitely less frequent but in the long run I'll save money rather than spend, so be better doing that. They can't force me to do parties. You just get that pressure from your start of week calls to report your figures. The joys of sales.Is it the intensity of emotion, or their depth of knowledge?
I think it's actually both. I love hearing about things people are really into and what it is that attracts them, but it's when a person is able to explain their interests and you can have conversation around that that makes me want to know more.I get that sort of thing at work: "You'll know him. He scored a hat-trick for Leeds against Liverpool in 1976..."
:think:
Nope...
I get the look like I have two heads when someone mentions things like "famous" players or managers. I really have no clue. I flip it back on them and mention a book I'm reading or an independent film I've seen... often that makes it clear that those people are only well known within a community of followers. They're not considered "famous" in my world because it's not something I'm interested in.Contrary to popular belief, I don't know everything, and soap-operas and sport I know absolutely *zero* about...
Ditto! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I usually get "Well... what DO you do when you're home?" Not in the way you asked, but in the sense that there is nothing else to do but watch TV... so sad.Is this just to do with your course, or do you have outside interests?
Outside interests too. I tend to go off on little journeys that interest me, like sustainability, street art, environment, conservation, education... pretty much anything that finds its way onto TEDx or TEDteens is of interest too.So how is it different when you have your own place, apart from the 4 walls are further apart?
I was generally more social as I could occasionally have friends come around and we'd hang out, chat, share stories, or just enjoy company. Even having a partner was easier when you had somewhere to go back to as where I was previously also had a big bedroom and a spare room.
I'm currently in a little box room with a single bed and barely enough room for myself, the cat, Ann Summers gear, study material and the few possessions I have.If you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0 -
I just find it really sad that the people who wield so much power and have so much influence over the masses fail to even cover the basics of patient care. It's a no wonder many slip under the radar.
I wouldn't like to claim they're all like that - but a great number are.I don't eat much processed and generally I now notice if there's excess sugar or salt in food as "flavour enhances" (seems a little ridiculous to me).
No, it does actually work. Salt is needed because you can keel over without it (despite the medical mantra) and was very highly sought-after before the age of mass production. Sugar (or indeed just generic calories) are also highly sought-after by your body. Your body is not designed for an age of plenty. It still has the instincts for "You're going to starve to death...real soon..."It's just chocolate that tends to be the problem. Especially when I'm low in mood. I know that such foods play tricks, and only end up making things worse,
Actually chocolate isn't that bad for that. But it should not be relied on.but haven't yet managed to sever its hold on me.
Do you eat "real" chocolate (i.e. 80% and above)? You may find your low mood is low blood sugar and not theobromine/serotonin related. Try it - see how it goes.You just get that pressure from your start of week calls to report your figures. The joys of sales.
That's why I try to avoid sales.I think it's actually both. I love hearing about things people are really into and what it is that attracts them, but it's when a person is able to explain their interests and you can have conversation around that that makes me want to know more.
Just not football...I get the look like I have two heads when someone mentions things like "famous" players or managers. I really have no clue.
Just nod sagely and go "uh-huh."Ditto! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I usually get "Well... what DO you do when you're home?" Not in the way you asked, but in the sense that there is nothing else to do but watch TV... so sad.
And the same people say "I don't really watch it - it's just background noise..." when you point out Jeremy Kyle is the same level of entertainment as Victorians watching lunatics in the asylum...Outside interests too. I tend to go off on little journeys that interest me, like sustainability, street art, environment, conservation, education... pretty much anything that finds its way onto TEDx or TEDteens is of interest too.
Hmm...where's there's a one stop shop for things (like TED), I find my suspicious rising. You want variety. More variety the better.
Do you ever watch stuff you don't agree with?I was generally more social as I could occasionally have friends come around and we'd hang out, chat, share stories, or just enjoy company.
Can you not go round their place? Or are they in a similar situation to you?Even having a partner was easier when you had somewhere to go back to as where I was previously also had a big bedroom and a spare room.
And he got the spare room...I'm currently in a little box room with a single bed and barely enough room for myself, the cat, Ann Summers gear, study material and the few possessions I have.
:grouphug:"Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
"We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
"Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky." OMD 'Julia's Song'0 -
Menu Plan
Mixed peppers, onions & carrots (cook & freeze) for:
*stirfries
*wraps
Bean & lentils in tom base for:
*Bean spag bol
*Veg lasagne
Veggie curry (freeze some portions)
Baked egg & avocado wrap
Shredded chicken (cook & freeze) for:
*wraps
*curry
*pasta & sauce
*stirfries
Baked potatoes (cook & freeze) for:
*various fillings
*OR stuff and freeze
*Cut for wedges
*Slice thinly for gratin
*Use for mash
Pie
Quiche
Mini shepard's pies
Garlic roasted veggies, kale and tofu
Provisional list to be amended/added to as I work out what I have or need to top up on.
Shopping List
Potatoes
Garlic
Carrots
Squash
Kale
Courgettes
Peppers
Chicken
Dried beans
Dried lentils
Apples
Kiwi
Dried 5 fruits bag
Chopped mixed nuts
Quinoa
Milk
Eggs
Have/stepdad buys regularly
>Wraps
>Onion
>Passata
>Apples
>Bananas
>Noodles
>Rice
>Pasta
>Lasagne sheets
>Oats
>OilIf you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0 -
No, it does actually work. Salt is needed because you can keel over without it (despite the medical mantra) and was very highly sought-after before the age of mass production. Sugar (or indeed just generic calories) are also highly sought-after by your body. Your body is not designed for an age of plenty. It still has the instincts for "You're going to starve to death...real soon..."
I doubt that refined sugar and salt though. More foods that naturally contain them. I eat a lot of fruits which are high in natural sugars. I don't think there are any concerns of me starving to death down here :P I probably eat better than anyone I know which has become a bit of an attraction at work.
Just something like veggie chilli or dried fruit has them pulling faces over their ham sandwiches or pasties. Very odd. I even had one of the lads telling me how much of a freak I was yesterday when I just asked for a top up of hot water when one of the girls offered to make a brew.
I pointed out that he rarely drank and, when he did, it was usually a pop. Thereby highlighting he was the weird one for not hydrating appropriately. He accepted that but refused to accept a person drinking hot water when it didn't have a tea bag in it.Actually chocolate isn't that bad for that. But it should not be relied on.
Do you eat "real" chocolate (i.e. 80% and above)? You may find your low mood is low blood sugar and not theobromine/serotonin related. Try it - see how it goes.
I do love rich, dark chocolate. It's just not often I come across it when it's a decent price. I did find a few bags of Beyond Dark which is lovely. I should definitely see if they're still available and stock up (50p a bag).
I'm sure I eat enough for my blood sugar to be at a steady rate. Why would a doc not check that if that affected mood? Why take my word my diet's good?And the same people say "I don't really watch it - it's just background noise..." when you point out Jeremy Kyle is the same level of entertainment as Victorians watching lunatics in the asylum...
So very true! It's usually when I point out the types of people who find Jeremy Kyle entertaining that most people make excuses for watching... either way, still incredibly frustrating when you learn how long people spend watching that kind of crap. What annoys me more is when they say "Oh, I wish I could do/learn... but I just don't have the time." Yeah... right.Hmm...where's there's a one stop shop for things (like TED), I find my suspicious rising. You want variety. More variety the better.
Do you ever watch stuff you don't agree with?
I wouldn't say I agree with everything... one talk I watched was about the pros of nuclear energy. I don't particularly agree with the use of it but it was interesting to learn about it. Same when I took part in a short course on sustainability. Some of the ideas aren't what I'd agree with (such as burning waste or wave power stations) but it was a fairly balanced discussion so you could see why some things could be argued for, but equally reasons as to why people would object.Can you not go round their place? Or are they in a similar situation to you?
There aren't that many people now to hang out with. Most people have moved away and no longer keep in touch, have babies/in a relationship and no longer keep in touch, or just drifted away. There's only really two guys I still talk to sometimes. One guy is in the same position as me and he's in his 30s. The other guy is someone I've known for a few years but I don't really know him that well so hanging out at his (which is in fact his ex-gf's place) is still something I'm not comfortable with.And he got the spare room...
I always like the option when you're just starting to see someone in case it gets late but you're not ready to put a bedshare on the cards. In reality, you end up sharing anyway when they know there's clear boundaries, so the spare room isn't essential.If you don't believe you can ever do it, you never will.0
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