How to remove son's girlfriend

Alfrescodave

Son is 24 and started his first serious relationship with a girl last Christmas with her moving in to live with us in January. Yes this was too soon but son was infatuated and couldn't resist her request.
She is nineteen and very immature. He does everything for her and basically waits on her hand and foot whilst she sits around watching TV.
Our house is big enough that we don't have much direct contact with her but we can hear the rows and verbal abuse she gives him.
At last the love bubble has burst and he's told us he wants her to leave but hasn't got the bottle to throw her and her belongings out! so its looking like I'm going to have to do it - which I'm willing to do.


Question is how best to do this :-
> put her clothes in black bags for her when she returns from work ?
> tell her that relationship isn't working and ask her to pack own bags and it would be best for her to return to her parents and offer her transport ?


Any advice offered will be seriously considered though I suspect at the end of the day I'll just tell her to **** off

warehouse

Be civil otherwise you are no better than her.

Tell her what's happening, give her an hour to pack her stuff and contact somebody, and then take her to the destination of her choice with all of her gear.

cazziebo

Alfrescodave wrote: »

Son is 24

Unbelievable! He tells her himself -directly and face to face.

ciderwithrosie_2

Your son needs to tell her it's over with you backing him up, stood behind him if necessary, to show you all mean business, but as this mess is of his own doing he definitely needs to be the one to do it, he's not a child!

BitterAndTwisted

The weekend is the best time to drop this kind of bombshell, as she will have time to do her packing.

Personally, I think the latter of your two options is the fairer. It's far less likely to enrage her and give her an opportunity to cause maximum trouble.

In any case, someone who lives in your home only does so as long as you agree to it and can be asked to leave at any time of your choosing.

Horace

Your son bought her into the house and therefore he should tell her to leave - he is 24 and an adult not 4 and a child.

Stand behind him if necessary but he should be the one to tell her to leave. Be civil about it.

Buzzybee90

He's 24. He can tell her himself, how embarrassing.

Person_one

Alfrescodave wrote: »

.

She is nineteen and very immature.

he's told us he wants her to leave but hasn't got the bottle to throw her and her belongings out! so its looking like I'm going to have to do it - which I'm willing to do.

Your 24 year old adult son is just as immature.

Why would you even consider breaking up with your son's girlfriend for him? In fact, why would you even consider letting a stranger move in after knowing your son a month?

whitewing

I would let him handle it himself totally. He needs to make it clear that her stuff goes. Do it today so she has tomorrow to start to come to terms with it.

(Give her a lift somewhere if she needs one).

Maybe take your son out somewhere after she has gone.

Mad-Frog

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

He's 24. He can tell her himself, how embarrassing.

Agree totally with this post

You are his mother not his keeper

You are raising him like my OH and his ex is raising his soon to be 30 year old, only just moved out ( with girlfriend who keep splitting up as he is so selfish) Has a daughter who only gets trips around through those of us who have bothered to learn to drive (he thinks that he is too thick and also cannot drink!)

You let her move into your home so you owe her a bit of slack in my opinion

It is clear you don't like her, you state she is immature but a 24 year old who wants his mummy to 'chuck' a girl , rather tell a live in partner it is over!! is very much so more immature than she can be :eek:

Keep out of it you are doing him no favours by taking control of life difficulties for him, believe me, my partners kids thin life owe them, my partner and me clash a lot over this

Tell your son to tell her himself, preferably book a weekend away with OH at the time

Mojisola

Alfrescodave wrote: »

we can hear the rows and verbal abuse she gives him.

If this was a daughter who was being undermined and abused by a BF, I doubt that the advice would be that she had to face up to him and send him on his way. A man can be in an abusive relationship and need support and help to get out of it.

I would go along with ciderwithrosie's suggestion unless he really can't face it.