At my wits end with a 2year olds bedtime

pickledonionspaceraider

It is the lack of structured routine - In the week you are putting her to bed at 7.30pm but at the weekend it is 9.30pm. You need constant routine at the weekends as well as during the week. Bed time same time every night , routine something like :bath, book, bed, lights off - whatever suits your little one

If for example, if she is up late to 9.30pm on a saturday, she is getting up later on a sunday morning 8am, then you are putting her into bed at 7.30pm on sunday night, so a two hour switch of bedtime - where the night before she was allowed an extra two hours to play - I would be confused if I was her too

If it were me, I would put her to bed at 9.30pm every night for the next few nights & Then I would gradually reduce this down, to 9pm - then further as appropriate. Shut the door and get a stair gate so she cannot keep coming out of her room. If she plays, try putting her bedtime a bit later again, by 15 mins or so, until you get the balance right. But you must stick to this at weekends and not keep her up later - or you will just be back to square one when you are trying to get her in bed when she isn't tired.

Naps in daytime - half hour max, wake her up, don't wait for her to wake

Its frustrating I know, but toddlers do really respond to routine and at the moment this child is confused as to what is expected of her, if she is allowed to play late one night and then the next day the rules suddenly change and play time is now bed time, she won't settle

toniq

We devised a routine that works with our lo, less is more if that makes sense, the more we done to help her unwind the worse it got.

No sweet stuff after 2pm, she has given up on naps, supper at 5pm, reads downstairs with daddy when he gets in at 6pm, bath at 6:40pm, then the crucial bit for us a baby massage, which lo helps with putting her bedtime cream on and we have a quiet chat with her as she gets a massage, she then takes her water bottle and we take her up to her bed.

We lay her down, give her polar bear to her and tell her goodnight and leave the room, if she gets up we lie her down without saying a word, and repeat as necessary, her room has a baby gate so she isn't going anywhere.

After doing this for a week she immediately goes to sleep now without any fuss, she has the odd night she wakes and gets the water bottle from end of bed and ask for me to replace it back, then settles again.

We found we were fussing too much which made her worse,once we backed off and got into a set routine7:30pm to bed she is asleep within minutes.

Goodluck, try the less is more approach you never know it worked for us!

Newly_retired

I wish you luck.
My DD did not sleep properly until she went to nursery class full time, aged four.
Before that, it was playing in bedroom, or refusing to settle on her own, or, worse, settling but then waking up in a nightmare. Crying at 2 a.m. Needing one of us to calm her down, usually by reading a familiar story until, through her sobs, she began to join in, and eventually calmed down and fell asleep.
Lucky DD has had NO sleep problems with her two children.

Make-it-3

If she sleeps when you sit with her, then sounds like she just needs some reassurance. Surely sitting with her for a little while and then creeping out will be less time consuming and stressful than constantly putting her back to bed for 2+ hours.

ganderson1804

Argh.


So many comments - all helpful but I'm at a loss as to what to try! She's at nursery today and is normally knackered so will see how tonight goes!


Thanks guys! If anything its good to know we're not alone!

Lucy_Lastic

Can you be sure that she is not sleeping during the day if she is with other people? It's much easier for them to let her nap than to entertain her! So perhaps they are being "economical with the truth"?
Just a thought............

pinkshoes

When she is going to bed at 10pm and you have to get up early and leave at 6.30am, is she awake and ready to go, or are you having to wake her up?

Kids need consistency, and can't adjust to a 2 hour change in bedtime. You need to put her to bed at 7.30pm EVERY night, and make sure she is up at 7am.

Yes, this does mean you don't get to lie in at the weekend, but you could also have an early night if you need more sleep!!

Spendless

Ganderson1804 wrote: »

Thanks for replying. I know what you mean but if I lie down with her or sit in her room at 7.30pm she will go to sleep.

This is what we went through with our eldest and we never managed to solve it, until teenage hormones kicked in a few months before his 12th birthday! He''s still not keen on bedtime, but at least he doesn't get up at stupid o'clock anymore. Mine was never grumpy with it- we were! He managed just fine. The only slight suggestion I have for you to give a go, is playing classical music helped settle him.

Who is providing childcare whilst you work? At first I thought you meant relatives, who are inclined to do it thier way, if they're left in charge, but later you mention a nursery they should do as you ask, you're the one paying.

notanewuser

pinkshoes wrote: »

When she is going to bed at 10pm and you have to get up early and leave at 6.30am, is she awake and ready to go, or are you having to wake her up?

Kids need consistency, and can't adjust to a 2 hour change in bedtime. You need to put her to bed at 7.30pm EVERY night, and make sure she is up at 7am.

Yes, this does mean you don't get to lie in at the weekend, but you could also have an early night if you need more sleep!!

That isn't my experience at all. Not all children are the same.

notanewuser

Might be better to drop naps every other day rather than every nap immediately. That helped ease the transition to no naps for DD.