Children's parties - invite adults without children? 3 August 2014 at 10:26PM in MoneySaving mums 16 replies 2.6K views

sweaty_betty

Hi there - I'm looking to get opinions on the best thing to do here.

My LO has his heart set on a party for his birthday in the next few months. We've only had one party before, which was a shared party with a couple of friends, so we were limited to numbers and just invited 5 friends each.

This year I'm going to organise a party at our house. I have a short list of definite invitees (around 12 including siblings). But I was wondering if I should keep the invitations for children only, or also invite MY friends to the party.

We recently went to a child's party which had children and (non-parent) adults invited, which seemed to work just fine. I have a friendship group where 1-2 of us have children around the same age, but others do not have children and I'm concerned that those without children may feel that I'm excluding them as they are not parents. However I don't want them to feel obliged to come along and feel like they don't belong there as they haven't brought children.

Any thoughts please?

ElefantEd

Who is the party for? If it's for your child, it's his friends who he wants there (plus accompanying adults, some of whom may be your friends too of course). Why on earth would your adult friends who aren't friends with your son (and aren't parents to any of his friends) feel excluded?

If one of your non-parent friends happens to be a special friend of his, then invite them too, to help out and give you assistance with maintaining order and/or your sanity!

Otherwise, schedule a party for your friends one evening when your son is in bed, at which point the fun can be unleashed!

Bottom line: it's your son's special day - organise the things he wants, not the things you want!

ciderwithrosie_2

If you want a party for your friends, just have one another time. But if I was single and/or childless I could imagine a million and one things I'd rather be doing than spending the afternoon at a friend's child's birthday party! I wouldn't feel slighted the least little bit!!


If really you want them there for an extra pair of hands to help out, then just ask if they'd mind, don't gloss it up that they're invited at your son's request.


As a child I would have been bloody cross with my mum if she'd invited her friends to MY party... I'm sorry, I don't get it at all!

bellaboo86

This is a tricky one. I don't have children myself but a lot of my friends do. When one of my friends little ones turned one she had a small party. Stupidly it didn't occur to me that I would be the only one without a child, I just wanted to share in the special occasion. I did feel totally out of place. However the same friend also has an older child and when it was his birthday I was again invited. This time I felt a bit more useful as I could help set up the party, top up buffet food, make drinks etc. I suppose I would say to invite your friends, just say it would be nice to see them but understand if a kid,s party isn't their thing.

sweaty_betty

Thanks all.
I don't particularly want my friends there (I find hosting parties hard work and you never really get chance to talk to anyone properly).

I ask because I worry that my childless friends will feel excluded as some people from the same friendship group will be there, with their children.

Before I had children I really wouldn't have wanted to go to a kids party (maybe not even now!) but some of my friends feel like they're not "part of the gang" and are left out of things because they don't have children. I don't want to make them feel worse.

The party is for pre-schoolers so as long as there are games and cake I don't think they'll care who's there...

PlymouthMaid

I always did my daughters' parties at home (until they were around 12-ish) but I would never have even thought to invite any adults at all other than a friend to help out perhaps if partner was not at home to help that day. Would rather go to the dentist myself than to a child's party

sweaty_betty

So do you think I'm being over-sensitive about my childless friends feelings?

angeltreats

I was at my best friend's daughter's second birthday party (missed her third birthday as I live in a different country and couldn't get home for it). I think of her more as a niece and love her dearly, I was childless and struggling with infertility but wouldn't have missed it for the world, seeing her little face so excited and watching her blow out her candles and open all her presents was lovely. Our other friend and I went together, I think we might have been the only two childless adults there but can't really remember.

I think it depends on the relationship the adults have with your child. If they're close. I'd say definitely invite them. However make it clear that they shouldn't feel obliged to come if they don't want to or don't feel able.

jaylee3

sweaty_betty wrote: »

Thanks all.
I don't particularly want my friends there (I find hosting parties hard work and you never really get chance to talk to anyone properly).

I ask because I worry that my childless friends will feel excluded as some people from the same friendship group will be there, with their children.

Before I had children I really wouldn't have wanted to go to a kids party (maybe not even now!) but some of my friends feel like they're not "part of the gang" and are left out of things because they don't have children. I don't want to make them feel worse.

The party is for pre-schoolers so as long as there are games and cake I don't think they'll care who's there...

In this instance, I would invite your child-free friends.

That said: Tell them there will be 'loads of noisy kids there' and you 'won't be offended if they don't come.' So they have a get-out option.

But at least you will have invited them, and won't feel bad for excluding them, and they won't feel left out, and everyone will be (hopefully) happy.

Must admit, when I read this thread title, I read it as you were wondering whether to invite the adults to a children's party, and not invite their children. LOL.

warehouse

I wouldn't ask people without kids. Kids party is for kids and their parents. Keep it simple and don't overcomplicate things. Can't go wrong like that.

Just my own opinion.

atolaas

sweaty_betty wrote: »

So do you think I'm being over-sensitive about my childless friends feelings?

In a word, yes. I don't think your childless friends would be offended if you chose not to invite them. If they are, then they are being a little over-sensitive themselves. It's a party for your child, not for them.