lipstick crisis!!

faerielight

My friends told me yesterday that they don't like the pale lipsticks I wear and they think I look trashy and that I should wear darker shades. and that the pale shade made me look like a teenager! I was hurt, but wanted to know what you guys thought. I do go for shades paler than my lips, usually peachy , pinky nudes but def paler than my lips. I'm 43. What do you guys think about pale nude lips over 40?

nearlyrich

I think you have very rude "friends" but if you want some advice go to a decent department store and try a few different shades...

faerielight

Thank you for the reply.I was really upset and I cried as my self esteem is really fragile after 3 years of surgeries and serious illness and I'm trying to face the world again. I like pale lips but my friends obviously think it looks crap.I have pale skin with a lot of yellow in so I think peachy, pinky pale corals and nudes suit me and I kind of like the 60s look of paler lips. Maybe I'm just stand my ground and wear the colours I like anyway, but it has knocked my confidence a bit.

hieveryone

I wouldn't necessarily say get new friends as I think it's important that friends are honest with you - maybe not so brutally though!

If you go on to the Bobbi Brown website they have a live chat facility where you can send them a photo and they will recommend colours for you.

Failing that, maybe purchase some cheap lipsticks in brighter colours and see what you think?

Pale lips can look fab if they are balanced out with a heavier eye make up, for example - do you do this? Otherwise pale lips with relatively pale eyes can look a little drained.

Skin with a lot of yellow is very close in the colour wheel to peach/pink colours, why not try a bright fuchsia colour? This is the opposite tone to yellow and so would also balance out your skin tone.

faerielight

you gave really helpful advice! Maybe I will branch out and try some different shades in brighter or darker colours.. thank you!

Frankly_Peter

I would pop into a local John Lewis / House of Fraser and spend some time checking out different shades... maybe invite one of your rather ruthless friends along and suggest that they buy you a present!

Jennifer_Jane

First of all, I would hate my friends to be like this: a lipstick colour is fairly trivial in the grand scheme of things. Your friends should not be making you cry and this is something that, in your justifiably sensitive state, I think I might post on the relationship board.


You are doing a good thing, however, by taking note of their advice, however shallow. As people have said, go to any make-up counter and the ladies there will be happy to help, and to put some on you so you can see. The one thing I had a problem with was foundation, and Boots were doing a super skin test for their foundation, and I also asked them about lipstick too.


As hieveryone said, someone with a yellow skintone (mine is too, although I describe it as "golden"), usually looks better with colours that have some blue in them (eg like fuschia does). I'm sure you can get paler shades.


Why not treat it as a bit of a project and get a make-up done at a department store counter? Just have to make an appointment (although Benefit in Manchester were happy to do my ancient friend and myself a few years back without one).


Many people don't know what colours will enhance them, and you might as well get it right as your skin tone, apparently, doesn't change through your life (according to the lady who "did my colours" at House of Colour, many years back).


I've spent so much money on wrong shades in my time, you may find that getting the whole thing right will save money and enhance you, which will give you confidence, too.

HPoirot

I have pale skin with yellow undertones too and always wear pinkish lipstick with blue undertones - ie cool pink rather than warm pink. Warm pinks, peaches and corals would just make me look ill.

If you would still prefer pale lips, you could try cooler pinks rather than peaches. Cool pink covers a whole range including bubblegum and fuchsia - not that these two are obvious choices but you can get lovely shades.

Tombola591

I'm sorry you felt so upset.

Personally I love pale shades and certainly don't think they look trashy. I also like the 60s look and often wear pale lipstick with black eyeliner, but I like to mix it up depending on what I'm wearing and my mood so sometimes wear bright red lipstick instead.

I don't tend to care what other people think of my style but I know it's not always easy to be like that, especially when your confidence is low.

I think it's a good idea to do what others have suggested here and go to a make-up counter and get some advice. As I've said I don't think pale lipstick is at all trashy, but whether it suits you or not is something different. Skin tone is one thing but also your eye colour, hair colour (when I've dyed my hair sometimes I've had to change my make-up), and sometimes what you're wearing can make a difference.

I hope you feel a bit more confident and try not to worry too much about it.

faerielight

thanks so much for all the advice! I do like pale lipstick and gloss, I really do and I don't think it looks trashy either. Yes, I rthink my friends were really insensitive and they realize now how unthoughtful they were being, especially as they know what I've been through the last 3 years. They have said they will be more tactful in future... I do wear brighter colours too, but I do prefer paler colours. However, I never knew that cooler shades look better with yellow/warm skin tones, thanks so much for that advice. I am put off make up counter make overs after a no 7 girl put too much green colour corrector on and I looked like a frog! the woman at the benefit counter actually stopped me and said did I realize I looked green!

maddiemay

I am sorry that your friends upset you, it was insensitive, but perhaps you have managed to hide your vunerability so well that they did not realise how they would make you feel. Whichever, try and put it behind you and as said, make this a challenge to try some new colours and new looks.

I think that Tombola has put it rather well and it may be that you need a different light colour than the one you favour to look your best.

I had a friend who, because she was heavier than she liked insisted on wearing her clothes (tops/jackets) of a length that she thought covered her hips, all it did was make her look matronly and chunky:( I tried very gently steering her in the direction of things that would have made her look great, as she was good at choosing colours that suited her and she was quite tall,) but she was too stuck on her look and I would never of dreamed of upsetting her, so left well alone, as long as she was happy that was all that mattered in our friendship, after all there are worse things than looking matronly:rotfl: