It all starts here - gaining control in 9 months!

Gainingcontrol14

I have been daydreaming since turning 30 that I want to change my spending habits, take control of my life and really build a clutter free future. Clutter free not only my surroundings, but negative draining people, and finances. I need to start somewhere so a good place is in the house, to start tidying up and getting rid of the rubbish, the clutter and things I just don't use. Try to make the money from them to put towards the finances clutter, which is the second starting point. Then as for the draining people, if your finance cluttering then the bank draining people who your friendship is only based on a social life in coffee shops, shopping centres and expensive playcentres for the kids then they should dwindle away for a better future! A new budget plan (well the first one), all the debts written down and then a plan in place to clear them. An overall look at all the utility bills and see where I can downsize them. Then split my money into sections so I can manage, I have a shopping addiction, spending addiction and no control over well anything at the moment. It's such a horrible place to be.

No matter how hard I try, i haven't yet been able to gain control, pretty pathetic really, I just want control! I daydream about control! To make this change I really need to focus and give myself a time scale to make a big difference, a time scale to change my habits and really get rid of the big black cloud that follows me around!

I have my starting point, now for the time scale... We are on the 1st August - my time scale to make a difference is the 1st May - that is when I want to have made the change, feel like I've made a difference and cut out the negativity!

A bit about me - in my 30s, a mummy, in a loving relationship, work 20 hrs a week, over spend, in debt, love the simple things in life but get caught up in the high life, love fashion, hate housework, hoarder, not very good at cooking, but want to learn!

Now to the nitty gritty ... Organise the paperwork to find out what is going on! Set up an eBay account and get listing, look at other ways of food shopping (try a smaller supermarket) and be busy with regards to the social life - tame that!

9 months to go!!! 9 months to flourish, change, grow up and take control!

beanielou

Happy shiny new diary
Keep posting!

Gainingcontrol14

Reflection on day 1 - well it got off to a good start but was fast changed by a 3 hour visitor which dramatically took all my time and I got no further!

So what have I done so far:

- set up an eBay account and PayPal account... Rather confused I thought u could list up to a 100 items at 99p and paid for anything over 99p? But you can only list 20 items free??

- sorted out a nice pile to list on eBay

- went through my direct debits on my online banking... There we're a couple which have really jumped to my attention which need to be urgently reviewed... Sky, three, home insurance

- wrote down what I have spent on food shopping this month... £410 for how many of us .... 3 ... How disgusting is that!!!?? That needs emergency attention!!!! Budget £300 a month to start with!

Reflection on day 2 .... Shocking I did nothing! Nothing at all apart from celebrate a friends birthday! Expensive day!! And wouldn't have minded but had celebrated it during the week!

Reflection on day 3 .... Just as useless as day 2 .... Not too good today, feel quiet under the weather and really tired. Don't know what's wrong with me but I did a bit of tidying and have done a bit of meal planning, tomorrow is a new day and fresh week!!

Overall reflection .... I need to sort myself out!! I can achieve this, I can but I need to work hard, get into a routine and just battle on!! After a weekend of draining sources mentally and financially... Time to conquer all!!!

117pauline

Could I make a gentle suggestion?

Look back at your last post and understand how critical of yourself you are..... the voice in your head is looking to constantly undermine you.

My suggestion would be to set small tangible goals and work towards them rather than berating yourself over your failures.

What would you advise someone else who was in a similar position? Small steps to make big progress

Good luck

Gainingcontrol14

117pauline wrote: »

Could I make a gentle suggestion?

Look back at your last post and understand how critical of yourself you are..... the voice in your head is looking to constantly undermine you.

My suggestion would be to set small tangible goals and work towards them rather than berating yourself over your failures.

What would you advise someone else who was in a similar position? Small steps to make big progress

Good luck

Wow from one post you have seen my worst thing - all I do is undermine and put myself down, I have a very negative relationship with myself and well I believe I am a failure, that I do not cope, I do not conquer and I just don't have to motivation to achieve anything well.

Giving everyone else advice I can do - I have been known to help others finances out, tidy their homes and reorganise them, help them sort themselves out, but when it comes to myself I have high expectations of myself but I suppose I am just setting myself up to fail!?!

It is true what you say - small steps to make big progress ....

Thank you x

Gainingcontrol14

beanielou wrote: »

Happy shiny new diary
Keep posting!

thank you!!! X

Gainingcontrol14

So quick tea break so thought would check my diary and have a little update!!!

New week - new start - new attitude!

Little steps only and try to be more positive!

This week I am going to focus my energy into the clutter in the house as I feel this drains me, I find it hard to function when it's a chaos! I will break jobs into 10 minute bursts so I don't demotivated myself, this way hopefully I can make a positive difference!!!

Back to paid work!!

Ninno820

Hi - I have only just started as well so will follow your diary with interest.


I think that I have an addictive personality as well so may I recommend YNAB as a budgeting software. You can try it for free for 34 days so will soon learn if its for you - and their webinars are well worth watching and learning - it has completely changed my attitude towards money. My addictive side has me checking my budget on a daily basis - trying to see if I can underspend and therefore shift some money -even pennies - towards the debt repayment.


Good luck

Gainingcontrol14

Focusing on positives is hard for me as an individual! But it needs to be something that I gain control of! I am overall a negative person when it comes to myself - any given chance I'm having a pop about myself and my behaviour attitude and well just about everything to do with me! I see myself as a failure and as a total wash out! So why am I giving myself 9 months to gain control - because I have had enough of not being in control of anything including my self image and my attitude.

I have started making progress with what I want to achieve! I have a few days off of work the end of next week and that time will be about gaining energy and about making a positive impact on what I want and need to do.

There's a lot of research that I want to do with regards to possibly asking a couple of the most awful creditors if they would consider a settlement offer? Let's be honest pay day lenders are rogues thieving scum and at my lowest I turned to them but am paying for it now! There I've said it! I need to do some serious ebaying and some serious decluttering!

Receipts - I'm a hoarder when it comes to receipts! I have serious amounts of receipts which I have kept on the 'I am going to keep a spending diary etc' basis - NO! Stop the over spending in the first place and I wouldn't have all these receipts! I wouldn't have the over excessive amount of things!!!!

My own total personal debt is rounded up to £8100! This is the figure I need to clear! I have added everything together, looked into everything I owe and this is the grand figure!! Something to be working with!

DawnW

Be kind to yourself

You are a Mum, and you have a job, and that equals, from my experience, not much time to yourself

Set yourself small, achievable goals and be proud of yourself when you achieve them

Think making one small overpayment, decluttering one drawer or putting one item on ebay to get you started. BTW, ebay have recently changed to the 20 free items policy. You are right, you used to be able to list up to 100 items if you started them at 99p. You can start them at any amount now though I think.

From another angle, you could simply think in terms of NOT buying / spending unnecessarily on something TODAY. Being that specific about it makes it much easier to achieve something.

Why not try one of the challenges on the DFW challenges board to help keep you motivated?

Take care xx

Gainingcontrol14

DawnW wrote: »

Be kind to yourself

You are a Mum, and you have a job, and that equals, from my experience, not much time to yourself

Set yourself small, achievable goals and be proud of yourself when you achieve them

Think making one small overpayment, decluttering one drawer or putting one item on ebay to get you started. BTW, ebay have recently changed to the 20 free items policy. You are right, you used to be able to list up to 100 items if you started them at 99p. You can start them at any amount now though I think.

From another angle, you could simply think in terms of NOT buying / spending unnecessarily on something TODAY. Being that specific about it makes it much easier to achieve something.

Why not try one of the challenges on the DFW challenges board to help keep you motivated?

Take care xx

Thank you for your kind words, all makes sense and probably the best way to do it! You are right I do not have much time to myself, hardly any at all! But I am determined for this to change, I do think that a lot of the time I am so caught up in the social aspect then the clutter that I do not help myself where i need to time manage more!

I have been having a good look at the challenges, I have been on a great little thread - the daily dfw, think will go to this one daily as looks like could help me a lot!

Thank you xx