Banishing the black cloud

in Debt Free Diaries
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  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Hey folks nearly a month since my last update, not much to report. Since starting YNAB my finances have improved greatly. Its just a revelation how effective it is. I have tried every form of budgeting for years and was getting no where fast. 2 months into YNAB and actually I have savings!!!

    A quick recap on all my debt, I just have the credit card left to go which now sits at £1500 so I have cleared over £5k in 8 months. Its been a hard slog but I can see the end in sight.

    Hubby was sort of on board but to be honest has been a complete nightmare. He hands me bits and pieces of money but nothing to take a dent out of our cost of living. He went on another bender at the weekend and isn't at work today. I have been reading about enabling alcoholics and I realise by taking responsibility for everything that is what I have been doing.

    I have therefore sat down today and worked out our monthly bills and split them down the middle 50/50. I will give it to him tonight. I have also decided that I will no longer cook for him or wash, dry or iron his clothes. I am not his mother and its about time he realised it.

    If nothing else it might make him realise how much I do. Last month he handed me a total of £505 of his wages but took £80 back for a dental appointment so £425 in total. A quick calculation of his split of the bills and he should be putting nearly £800 per month into the house and that's not counting any maintenance work we have to do. For example I had to pay an electrician £350 this month to rewire the garage. of which hubby paid zero.

    As for the other stuff that's been going on in my life. I still haven't got the stove fitted so living room is still out of action!!! and I have been off all sweet products for lent and haven't broke it yet. :T:T

    I promise to keep my diary more up to date and will let you know how hubby copes with his new enforced lifestyle:D
  • monzmonz Forumite
    4.1K Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Debt-free and Proud! Stoptober Survivor
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    Heyyyy

    you should defo stand up for yourself more... but easier said than done i know :(!

    Well done on lent :D xx
    Debt (1/9/14) £6,702.11 Debt free (30/11/2016) car - £2,107.20/£10,537 (48 month left) mortgage - £70,311.69 o/s currently
    2021 maternity debt - O/D - £250, PP credit £85/£130, Credit Card £85.45/£503.66
  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Hello strangers, just reading over my diary and in my last entry I promised that I would keep my diary more up to date and I haven't typed a word in it in two months!!

    Anyhow its been an eventful few months my debts are slowly decreasing.
    hubby is still a complete nightmare, sitting here at the minute thinking is it all worth the effort. I will be married 3 years in July and I cant imagine doing another 3 years. He joined AA and so has started to hide drink from me to make me think he is doing well. I went to hang clothes in his wardrobe yesterday and found 10 empty tins stuffed into coat pockets from the weekend. He is working and making £400 per week but only gives me half of it and this week has given me nothing. I told him last week it wasn't fair to make me ask for it which is what I think he is doing.

    At work I got a massive promotion but no pay increase! welcome to the private sector. I am now running my own construction project worth £30m+ it is really full on and I come home from work everyday mentally exhausted but I still really enjoy it.

    DS is currently in the middle of his AS levels and is actually doing some work which is a complete surprise. He has maths this morning and biology exam tomorrow. I gave him £5 on way to school this morning to treat himself to a nice lunch when his exam is over.

    I have been plugging away with YNAB and it is amazing bit of software. It has kept me on budget but it lets you see just how little money you have left after all bills are taking care of it. TV license and house insurance were due this week and instead of running around trying to find the cash to pay them it is all safely tucked away in the appropriate category balance. For those of you who don't use it you will not understand what I am ranting about it.
  • supersaver1000supersaver1000 Forumite
    2.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Debt-free and Proud!
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    Sorry to hear abou hubby Maggiecon. My OH was driving me mad at one point and I've stuck it out to get myself I a better position. However he's now much better, although he has the odd moment. But as I'm in a much stronger position I don't fold so easily and he's learning that. My decisions now are based on what is good for me (and also possibly for my future if I was to go it alone) rather than fitting in with what's best for 'us'. Feels quite empowering and I think that's good all round.

    I've got student YNAB but didn't get to grips with it. I'm on summer break now (mature part time student) so will give it another go :)

    Good luck with it all x
    OSWL (start 13st) by 30Jun20 6/10
    £1/day Xmas'20-62 £214/£366 saved
    Grocery Challenge Jun £742/£320 spent
    Homeowner wannabe by July 2020 - WooHoo!!
    Starter Emergency Fund £1000/£1000 saved
  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Hey folks just thought I would drop by for another quick catchup. I know I have said it before but I will say it again... YNAB is my saviour.

    I started using it on the 1st January this year and after 6 months my debts are nearly all paid off and I have money set aside for every bill that is due. I have even started a university fund for my daughter (too late for DS LOL)

    My mortgage deal has just ended with Halifax and I logged into my online account and remortgaged with them, it took about 5 minutes and it is saving me £200 per month!! interest rate dropped from 5.39% to 2.29%. I also remortgaged by Buy to let as it is still in negative equity which also saved me £50 per month. So happy about this as my income and outgoings are about the same value each month so for the first time ever there is extra cash. I think I might start a holiday fund, haven't had one in over 3 years.

    OH moved out 6 weeks ago to try and sort himself out. Things were going well as he called every weekend and for the first time in a long time I didn't feel stressed. He called last weekend and said he would ring me the next day and I haven't heard from him since. I texted him a week ago but he didn't reply. It was our wedding anniversary at the weekend and I still never heard from him. I really think I am too old to be playing these stupid games. But I am also worried because this is not like him, yet I don't want to be going and chasing after him. Totally confused and don't know what to do.

    Decided to concentrate on my kids so took them out for dinner on Saturday evening and we went and played golf yesterday. Now that I have my extra £250 per month we can actually start having a life.
  • supersaver1000supersaver1000 Forumite
    2.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Debt-free and Proud!
    ✭✭✭✭
    Maggie you sound so positive. I'm glad things are going well on the financial front. Sorry to hear about DH - they have to take responsibility for themselves at some point in life, if only to give you a break from it.

    Take care and I hope all works out brilliantly. SS xx

    ps it's amazing what an extra £250 can do isn't it :)
    OSWL (start 13st) by 30Jun20 6/10
    £1/day Xmas'20-62 £214/£366 saved
    Grocery Challenge Jun £742/£320 spent
    Homeowner wannabe by July 2020 - WooHoo!!
    Starter Emergency Fund £1000/£1000 saved
  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Just another quick update on my financial situation. I was just reading through my diary and decided I would update my situation from this time last year.

    Lloyds [STRIKE]£1631[/STRIKE]£1021
    HMRC [STRIKE]£930.00[/STRIKE] £0
    Solicitor (house purchase) [STRIKE]£430.00[/STRIKE] £300
    Council Tax [STRIKE]£1,750.00 [/STRIKE] £0
    Next [STRIKE]£80.00 [/STRIKE] £0
    Argos [STRIKE]£210.00[/STRIKE] £0
    Insurance Excess [STRIKE]£100[/STRIKE] / £0
    Credit Union loan [STRIKE]£450.00[/STRIKE]
    Credit Card husband [STRIKE]£100.00[/STRIKE] / £0
    Overdraft [STRIKE]£700[/STRIKE] £520
    Loan[STRIKE] £1000[/STRIKE] £0

    Financially things are a lot better, even though I owe some money I also have savings and an emergency fund. The biggest improvement over the year has been my ability to work a budget and stick to it. For example this time last year my diary was all about me panicking trying to find money to buy school uniforms but with YNAB I have been putting £30 a month into my uniform category and I now have £200 available to sort DD out for school and more importantly no stress or worry.

    Also got some good news just completed my tax return and mister HMRC owes me £861 :T:T:T

    Now I got to decide do I spend it or do I pay off more debt? Decisions Decisions.
  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Hubby started a new job today, hope he likes it. As a tradesman he is constantly in and out of work so I am hoping this is something more stable for him.

    My sister was telling me about her visit to a personal shopper a couple of weeks ago to get an outfit for a wedding and I was thinking I would love to do that. I am terrible at shopping and normally come home empty handed. Being in debt this last few years I haven't bought myself any clothes and my wardrobe is practically empty. I thought as a treat for getting my debt nearly cleared I would buy myself some clothes. I had an idea about a capsule wardrobe for work so I wouldn't need to buy too many items. You basically send your measurements, budget etc to the personal shopper and tell her what you are after and she picks out all the clothes for you to try on. She has her own special changing rooms in the shopping centre. You pay £30 for 2 hours and get your makeup done and get a glass of bubbly. My sister said with the store discount you get it more that covers her £30 fee.

    I really want to go for it but my problem is that for the last 5 years I haven't spent any money on myself and now I don't think I can because I associate shopping with feeling guilty. Does anyone else do that?
  • maggieconmaggiecon Forumite
    408 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    ✭✭
    Hi again everyone, just dropping in for what is turning out to be a monthly update. Just read my last post and I can confirm that I have still not been to the personal shopper. I cant get out of the mentality that I had when I was in debt and now the thought of spending money on anything that isn't essential just feels wrong. Maybe that's a good thing as it will keep me out of debt in the future.

    Hubby still at his job and has gone 10 weeks without a drink, attends his AA meetings religiously every week and he is joy to live with. Which I never thought I would say :) He still runs loads which makes him grumpy and tired but a lot less grumpy that he is when hungover.

    Still haven't got my money from Mr HMRC, they took £500 from the £800 they owe me as they said I owe them it, but they have already taken that from me through my PAYE so now I am paying it twice :mad:
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