Concerned about partner's gambling and debts

RAS

Glad it is England.

Are you actually married?

With respect to her moving back to be with family; I think you wou;ld be best just to suck it and see.

If she stays there, then consider the possibility of moving closer? And if you think there are problems with her care of the child, seek help to gain residence?

FireWyrm

Haggisman123 wrote: »

I'm in England.

She signed a waiver stating she would have no interest in the deposit which was provided as a gift by a family member. Although obviously this would have no bearing on any equity gained since I started paying the mortgage.

You've got bigger problems than that. I'm no family lawyer, but simply by living with you, having your child and being your putative spouse gives her half the house I believe. You need professional advice here.

Haggisman123

RAS wrote: »

Glad it is England.

Are you actually married?

With respect to her moving back to be with family; I think you wou;ld be best just to suck it and see.

If she stays there, then consider the possibility of moving closer? And if you think there are problems with her care of the child, seek help to gain residence?

Not married, no.

Yes, there is the possibility of moving closer, but not for a few years - I've just started a new position at my employer, which will hugely improve my employment prospects, but unfortunately I'm basically inexperienced at the moment, so would need to build up a few years worth for it to be a possibility - it's definitely something I've considered, and like I mentioned, my mum's house is there, so I'm sure she'd be open to some kind of arrangement of me buying/renting it from her.

FireWyrm wrote: »

You've got bigger problems than that. I'm no family lawyer, but simply by living with you, having your child and being your putative spouse gives her half the house I believe. You need professional advice here.

I was under the impression that was only in circumstances where it could be shown there was a contribution by the other partner?

Obviously I'm not 100%, hence asking here

Would a legal helpline, as included in a home insurance product be suitable to cover something like this, or would I be best having a sit down with a divorce/family law specialist?

FireWyrm

Haggisman123 wrote: »

I was under the impression that was only in circumstances where it could be shown there was a contribution by the other partner?

There was a 'contribution', she gave you a child and it could be argued that she was unable to work due to childcare responsibilities and therefore contributed in other ways to the household, cooking and cleaning for instance. The truth of this is for a court to decide, but if footballers' wives can claim 50% of their husbands' estate whilst being 'stay at home mothers', then so can she. The line between true marriage and mere cohabitation has become considerably blurred legally and morally over the last 35 years thanks to successive 'touchy feely' governments. This is the type of unintended consequences the relaxation of the legal definition of marriage has caused.

Haggisman123 wrote: »

Obviously I'm not 100%, hence asking here

Neither am I, you need professional advice. I am entirely unqualified to give it to you.

Haggisman123 wrote: »

Would a legal helpline, as included in a home insurance product be suitable to cover something like this, or would I be best having a sit down with a divorce/family law specialist?

You need a specialist. Most practices will give you 30 minutes of their time for free so frame your questions to get the most from those minutes.

My grandmother once said to my newly married father, "divorce is not for the likes of us, the only people who profit are lawyers". Nothing has changed. Although there is no legal divorce here, co-habitation is now considered as good as marriage, especially if there are children involved.

Haggisman123

FireWyrm wrote: »

There was a 'contribution', she gave you a child and it could be argued that she was unable to work due to childcare responsibilities and therefore contributed in other ways to the household, cooking and cleaning for instance.

Haha, I do most of the cooking, but yes, I see your point

Thanks for the advice, and I will look for a specialist who can see me in a lunchtime!