How should I handle this situation at work?

Silver-Freddy

I started a full time job in March this year,I am 56 years old and realise Ive been lucky landing myself a full time job so late in life.(Im female)
Around May another new member of staff joined our group.He,s male and around 50 years old.
As time has gone on this worker has started to take over the jobs I should be doing.If I start a job in the warehouse he,ll come over to me and offer his help.I politely tell him Im ok,then if someone in the group asks me to do a job this man comes over and says "I,ll do it",again I tell him Im fine to do it on my own.
A few of the jobs involve me moving big crates,I am fit and healthy(Im 5ft 10 inches tall and he,s around 5ft 2inches ) and have no problem in moving them,however he,ll come over and say "its ok I,ll move it for you"Slowly its been getting me more and more annoyed and a few times Ive asked him to leave me alone to do the jobs Im supposed to do.
Now this man could be nowhere near me when someone asks me to do a job or move something from one part of the warehouse to another and then suddenly he,s there next to me again saying "its ok I,ll do it for you".
This morning I was asked to empty the bins in the warehouse,theres about 8 of them.I started on the first one,looked up and saw him rushing over to the other bins to empty them.When I told him to leave the bins for me to do he totally ignored me and carried on emptying them.


Last week I was moving some metal crates and I was doing fine,they wasn't heavy but he came over pulled the crate away from me. I had my fingers inside one of the wires.When he dragged it away from me my finger was caught in the crate and my finger was trapped,as he pulled iit away from me I pulled my finger away and it caught on some metal which caused it to bleed,if he had left me to do it on my own then this wouldn't have happened.


I ended up being very angry and I asked him why does he completely ignore me when I ask him to stop doing the jobs Im supposed to be doing.I then asked him if it was because I am female and he said no(theres one other woman in her 30,s who works with us but he dosent offer his help to her).then I asked is it because of my age and again he said no.
I finally asked him if hes doing it to make himself look good with the other workers and make me look bad and again he said no.He said he dosent know why he does it with me but that answer dosent help me.
Ive told him many times to leave me to do my own jobs and to concentrate on his own jobs but hes just not listening.
I know hes desperate to keep this job but when he takes over doing my jobs and Im stood there with no job to do because hes doing it then it makes me look the lazy one and him as the one who rushes about doing my work.
Im still on probation so I wont go to my bosses as I don't want to rock the boat but its so bloody annoying for me.Could he be sexist or ageist???Im just not sure but I do know its dam annoying for me.
Sorry for rambling,I should be enjoying my weekend off work but this is on my mind and I know on Monday morning he will be just the same.He said he dosent know why he does it but that dosent help me.
There are 6 other men who I work with and they have no problem with me doing my own work,however this other man thinks differently.

getmore4less

If you feel harassed then it is harassment and should be sorted but if you don't feel happy raising it then that is going to be an issue.


I think you need to raise this with someone senior as it has already caused an accident in the workplace which could have been much more serious




As you cut your finger that should be in the accident book with an explanation of what happened. I would start with that first day back at work.


One tactic that sometimes works(but do it anyway just in case things escalate) get a small note book.
Every time he interferes stop get the book out look at your watch, note the date time and what interference event is happening.


Don't say anything even if asked or just say I have been advised to record every time you harass me.


Is there some kind of pecking order like a supervisor that allocates work.
Any that you get on with well, a quiet word when asked to do something, like hey Jim does not seem to have enough to do he keeps trying to help me can you give him something urgent to do


People must be starting to notice any peers that might have a word one of the other lads.


Another tactic(very risky) if he does not know what you should be doing(does not overhear the instructions) is start doing something else let him take over and then go do the job you were asked to do.




On the lucky to have a job comment,


one thing companies are finding is that the more mature worker can be much more reliable than the youngster ones.

Tiddlywinks

Is there a chance he is interested in you as a person, if you know what I mean, and is just trying to find opportunities to interact?

He may be trying to impress but it's all just going horribly wrong.

Do you take a break at the same time? When you can get a quiet moment, just say 'I appreciate that you've offered to help but I really don't need it. In fact, I like to work alone and just get on with it so please just leave me to it. Thanks anyway'. Then see how he reacts.

tomtontom

This strikes me as someone trying too hard, and his intentions are as far from harassment, or any of the isms as could be. Tiddlywinks advice is good, approach him in a friendly way and explain you're happier left alone, and then if he does do it again a calm but firm 'you're doing it again, why not ask (supervisor) if they've got something for you to do' should do the trick.

getmore4less

tomtontom wrote: »

This strikes me as someone trying too hard, and his intentions are as far from harassment, or any of the isms as could be. Tiddlywinks advice is good, approach him in a friendly way and explain you're happier left alone, and then if he does do it again a calm but firm 'you're doing it again, why not ask (supervisor) if they've got something for you to do' should do the trick.

It's harrasment,

maybe not intentional but that is not a requirement.

The behavour has caused acording to the op a workplace injury that makes it much more serious.

Gavin83

Any chance he fancies you a bit?

jc808

Gavin83 wrote: »

Any chance he fancies you a bit?

Never look a gift horse...

ohreally

Silver-Freddy wrote: »

Could he be sexist or ageist.

Perhaps, as daft as it seems, he simply likes you and can't do right for doing wrong in your eyes.

Silver-Freddy

Thanks so much for the lovely replies,Ive just arrived home after spending the day at the seaside,think I needed it to recharge my batteries,I think it worked.
Im certain he dosent fancy me,definatly not lol Im 5ft 10 and he,s 5 ft 2 for starters and hes very happily married and I have the best man ever which he knows about.
I guess I just want to prove that Im capable of doing the work Im doing without interference from him or anyone else.
The finger incident I didn't put in the accident book which I know I should of done.The other workers were there at the time and one lad was really angry with him for yanking the crate away from me.
We don't actually have a boss in the warehouse department,our boss has her own office so she dosent see or know how he behaves.


I sometimes think he feels he has to prove to everyone hes a good worker so they will keep him on,however the other staff have told him to slow down and chill out a bit more.My probation ends in 2 months time and then I become permanent,he has to wait till around October before hes permanent so hopfully he will have calmed down by then.


On Monday I will explain to him that I want to work on my own to prove to others that I can do the job.(even though Ive said that many times to him),however I will warn him I will take it further with the management if he chooses to ignore my wishes just one more time.I haven't mentioned taking it further before so maybe he will keep well away from me if I say that.


Its just so annoying that he stated he didn't know why he kept jumping in to take over from me,even the other workers heard him say that comment so I guess if he carrys on ignoring me then he only has himself to blame.


Thanks so much for your replies everyone,I really appreciate it.

keyser666

I think with you being at the upper end from an age perspective and how hard it is to get work at that age he probably wants to prove his worth as well but is forgetting and not understanding he is overstepping the mark

elsien

My initial reaction was that he fancies you - not sure why you think you being taller than him would preclude that.
However if you're sure that's not the case then I'm going for small man syndrome and he's doing it on you because you're the other comparative newbie so it's easier than taking over from a more established team member.