Empty Nest

jue

The last of our two children has just left home.
plus DH has been told he will loose his job by the latest next spring but maybe much sooner.
I think it's now time to start looking at thing's afresh.
We have a lot of clutter, so need to clear this.
Plus I need to rethink my food budget, Ds is veggie so I often had to make seperate meals as Dh is Staunch meat eater, although he's not fussy.
I am trying to be positive about this new phase in my life, but sad the nest is empty.
I will have a look at the de cluttering thread I need to be determined with this.
Thinking about the Grocery challenge, but am on holiday in August for two weeks so may not be realistic to join the August challenge.
Any hints about how to deal with an empty nest gratefully recieved. DHand I both work shifts so while he still has a job we often work oposit each other and will spend quite a bit of time on our own :-)

good_advice

Hello jue, we are almost the same. x2 children moved on and x1 left but is out a lot.

We have been decluttering for quite a wile on and off. The things we have that we no longer love has been a big help to the new younger families.
It is rewarding to see your items being reused in the children's homes.

Bills get smaller - food, electric and petrol running them around.

Time is different - our neighbors spend lots on trips/holidays wile we fill in our time at home. = crafts, gardening, reading, Tv/computer.

I fill the house with flowers
Put the local radio on more for background noise.

jue

Thank you good advice.
Definitely will garden, I am lucky enough to have an allotment.
I like the idea of filling the house with flowers.
Also the lower bills :-)

good_advice

Surprised! no one else has replied.

System

I went into a bit of a depression when the first two left home. They both moved out within 6 months of each other and it really did hit home hard! However, I did still have three left at home. I gave it a period of time before started rearranging things in case they came back but I started rearranging the bedrooms. With three boys in one bedroom and two girls in another it was now time to decorate I felt and the extra beds had to go.

The girls had the biggest bedroom so I swapped it so that my daughter had a bedroom of her own (albeit a smaller one) and the two boys what were left at home had the bigger bedroom.

When my last daughter moved out I waited 6 months to see that she was settled and her bedroom was freshly decorated and turned into a home office. I could then put my pc upstairs instead of having it in the living room which gave us more space. My youngest daughter moved out when she was 28. It was a long time coming as we didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things.

Another son moved out. I rearranged the furniture in the boys bedroom and decorated. Out went the huge wardrobe and the metal bunk bed got turned into a single bed for one.

When my last child moves out, again I will give him a period of time to settle and when I feel the time is appropriate I will strip his bedroom. I'm not sure what I am going to do with it yet though.

Winter_Phoenix

When both children were at home, were there times when you said, "If only we had a bit more space, I'd do such-and-such (make a luxurious spare bedroom for guests/a home office/a sewing room/a place for my husband's collection of thingummies/a cosy TV room/whatever)"? If so, now is the moment when you can realise your dream!

Or, if money is going to be tight with your husband's impending job loss, what about letting out a room?

You could also remind yourself of the downside of having your youngsters underfoot - maybe they left you to do all their washing up, or presented you with heaps of laundry, or brought all their friends home to raid the fridge, or stayed out late until you were worried half to death, or lost their keys regularly, or occupied the bathroom for hours? Cheer yourself up by thinking about the bright side of your new situation.

Finally, a huge number of 20-somethings and 30-somethings come back home to Mum and Dad nowadays, at least for short periods while they save the deposit for a flat/house, or because their relationship has broken up, or when they finish at university, or at the end of a work contract. Sometimes they bring partners and children with them when they return. So you may find that your offspring boomerang home again anyway!

maman

It's a tough time but I can vouch for there being light at the end of the tunnel!


It's now many years since our DDs flew the nest. DH and I still live in the same (4 bedroomed) house and I can't believe how we've expanded to fit the space. If the girls came back there's be no room for them!:rotfl:


So, as money permits, I'd work on going all around the house decluttering and then decorating as needed. As you work opposing shifts you and DH won't be thrown together which can sometimes be difficult. To me that's a positive. I'd sit down with your DH and do some meal planning as now you can have the meals you'd like without taking children's tastes into account.


Tough about your DH's job. Will he look for another? It might be a good idea to work a budget out together on less money.

System

maman wrote: »

It's now many years since our DDs flew the nest. DH and I still live in the same (4 bedroomed) house and I can't believe how we've expanded to fit the space. If the girls came back there's be no room for them!:rotfl:

Now that's something I definitely don't want to do. I would love to downsize if anything but being practical, I know that's not going to happen. I am on a mission to maximise the space I now have.

PlymouthMaid

I got a dog as I still need something to look after.

System

PlymouthMaid wrote: »

I got a dog as I still need something to look after.

I got hubby for that! He's not very good at looking after himself

ska_lover

It's very different now ''little un'' has moved out. I am always home from work a good hour or so before by OH and now come in to an empty house and no music booming down the stairs - that's (suprisingly) what I miss the most.