Dad in Care home / hospital - news to me.

Cuddles2012

I am sorry if this is in the wrong place but my head is all over. This may also be a bit long to read as I just need to say things.

I have not being really close to my dad since he walked out when I was 4 (not all his fault) We had some contact days out etc until I was 12 then he decided he not longer wanted to see me. He still lived in the same town although we never saw each other until about 20 years ago we had more contact (usually when he needed something).
I am his only family over here, he has a brother & nephew 86 miles away and cousins elsewhere I don't know any of them. Over the past 7 years we have had a little more contact and I saw him every few months Christmas etc. after he moved into a bungalow at a warden control area - strange enough my mum and grandmother were also there although in the main complex.
Last Jan he said he was going to see his brother - nothing unusual he went a few times a year. After not seeing him for about 3 months I went to his place to find he had moved and someone else living there. All I was told is they think he went to live at his brothers. My mum or Grandmother never told me anything or that the council were clearing his bungalow and putting everything into a skip (I had to ask around) I didn't think this to odd as he was not that old and had worked until he retired recently so may have become lonely - he had my details so he could get in touch. I did keep looking around to find my cousin so we could keep in contact but not knowing much about him made things difficult and I never found him. I have now received a letter saying my dad is in hospital - it isn't to good. It now appears that around a month after he left he ended up in hospital then moved to a residential ward before being moved into a care home. Now he has gone back into hospital the home has contacted me. It transpires that my name and address was given to each place he has stayed and even my uncle but not one has contacted me. So to find out he is so ill now --I cannot find the words. I was only taking about him the other week, they said they will suddenly find me when they want funeral payment. I don't know what to do, I dare not phone the hospital I feel that if I stay away my uncle can look after everything like he has being doing, he has not needed me before. I'm hurt by so many people that no one told me he had gone and that no one informed me he was ill.
I know what I am saying seems wrong after all he is my dad but I don't know him, his friends, family and I haven't had a chance to find out.
As I am his only child do I have to be the one to sort things out.

RAS

No-one has to be the person to sort it out - the fact that you are his only child does not force you to do anything.

You might want to ask if uncle has formal power of attorney just so you understand how things stand?

If you want to see dad, just do it and explain that you were not told where he was and had to trace him.