Got a funeral tomorrow - and I have a (probably silly) question about sympathy cards.

dimestorediamond

Tomorrow I am attending the funeral of my dearest friend's aunt. I've not attended many of these in my adult life so I was just wondering about who to give a sympathy card(s) to?

My friend has already had one.

I knew the aunt a little, but am going mostly in support of my friend. Do I just give one card for the entire family? Who do I address it to? Or do I perhaps have one for the husband of the aunt, and another for the rest of the family, addressed and passed on to the parents of the aunt (whom I know a little better)?

I know it sounds a bit silly and trivial, but I don't know how much of a difference this makes and don't want to offend or cause upset or anything.

Thanks everyone.

arbroath_lass

I've never known anyone take a sympathy card to a funeral. You've given one to your friend already, I think that is fine. No need to give them to people you barely know.


Hope it goes ok. These things are never easy, I'm sure your friend will appreciate your support.

Person_one

Sympathy cards are generally sent/given when you first hear about the death, they aren't intended to be taken to the funeral. You can arrange for some flowers to be sent to the funeral directors in your name, or make a donation to charity if the family have said they'd prefer that.

balletshoes

sympathy cards are for when you've just heard about the bereavement, or if you are not going to be able to attend the funeral, and want the bereaved to know you are thinking of them. You are paying your respects in person by attending the funeral, so there is no need to take cards.

dimestorediamond

My mum mentioned that to me, and I figured as much. I wouldn't have handed it to them directly anyhow, would've given to me friend.

The whole thing has been rather whirlwind-like, hence not able to give a card sooner, only knew my friend's address (although should've just posted the additional one to be passed on, now that I think about it).

Will leave the card. Thank you, everybody.

balletshoes

CRT86 wrote: »

My mum mentioned that to me, and I figured as much. I wouldn't have handed it to them directly anyhow, would've given to me friend.

The whole thing has been rather whirlwind-like, hence not able to give a card sooner, only knew my friend's address (although should've just posted the additional one to be passed on, now that I think about it).

Will leave the card. Thank you, everybody.

its absolutely fine that you just sent a card to your friend - she is the one you know, she is the bereaved that you know. Please don't give it another thought - honestly your friend's family won't be concerned about it.

dimestorediamond

Thanks balletshoes, just wished I'd thought about this sooner!

maman

Person_one wrote: »

Sympathy cards are generally sent/given when you first hear about the death, they aren't intended to be taken to the funeral. You can arrange for some flowers to be sent to the funeral directors in your name, or make a donation to charity if the family have said they'd prefer that.

There's often a plate/box at the exit to the crematorium for people wishing to make a donation. OP might want to take some cash for this.