advice on benefit sanctions/fraud please

PoorCharleyBear

Housing_Benefit_Officer wrote: »

The child's DLA is awarded for the child's illness or disability not on the parents financial circumstances.

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This is completely correct. A close relative has a child who has high rate DLA (and has done since 6 months). The father works full time and earns a good wage- but the DLA is for the child's needs....to provide care that is over and above standard care for a child of *that* age.

sharnad

How old is your daughter

RAS

As above......

laura678 wrote: »

My daughter is in her early twenties.

RuthnJasper

sharnad wrote: »

How old is your daughter

Laura has already stated that she's in her early 20s.

Laura, I am so, so sorry for your situation; you must be at your wits' end.

Part of me thinks that the education system may be in some ways at fault in these situations (see http://frankchalk.blogspot.co.uk, especially the earlier posts). Certain groups of young people are so disruptive - and know that the school won't/can't effectively punish them - that they leave school with no sense of responsibility or useful life-skills. In these circumstances I can see why some see the benefits system as a bit of a game to be played, and they have no real experience of anyone (except, mostly, parents) with the actual ability to modify or correct them in ways that affect their quality of life.

The attitude of the father of the little girl is horrendous; and he will only go on to sire other unfortunate children which he'll neither want nor care about.

My heart goes out to you Laura, and to your grand-daughter. I hope everything will be OK. I can't really offer any advice other than what has already been suggested, save to echo that http://www.stepchange.org/ are incredibly helpful. But even they will run out of options if your daughter continues to lie and deceive the authorities.

Best wishes for a happier future. xx

Ames

Laura, if you think your daughter has mild learning difficulties and mental illness perhaps she needs more professional help and support. Instead of suggesting you take her daughter away (which is how she'd perceive it, rather than as being to help) you could go to the GP with her, and try and get her the help she obviously needs.

laura678

Ames wrote: »

Laura, if you think your daughter has mild learning difficulties and mental illness perhaps she needs more professional help and support. Instead of suggesting you take her daughter away (which is how she'd perceive it, rather than as being to help) you could go to the GP with her, and try and get her the help she obviously needs.

She was assessed in her younger years because of behavioural issues and learning difficulties and they never came to any conclusion as to what it is. Some people I guess struggle to communicate and organise themselves more than others and my daughter happens to be like this. I do try to guide her as much as possible and always try and organise any appointments she has for herself or daughter. Her depression came about since she was with her partner, but now he's left; I'm hoping the depression will lift as she doesn't take her medication correctly.


It would not be by choice to have my grand daughter live with me, I do have younger children, but they're all starting to grow up and be a little independent. I also have some health issues myself, so having another little one, isn't something that I would expect to have in my time of life. It has been a consideration because my daughter from time to time has really struggled with motherhood. She stayed with me for the first few weeks of her daughters life because she felt she couldn't cope, but I eventually helped her on her feet. I was just meaning that I would want my grand daughter to come to us, if the authorities decided she couldn't cope, I would not want to see her put into foster care and be involved with the care system.

laura678

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Laura has already stated that she's in her early 20s.

Laura, I am so, so sorry for your situation; you must be at your wits' end.

Part of me thinks that the education system may be in some ways at fault in these situations (see http://frankchalk.blogspot.co.uk, especially the earlier posts). Certain groups of young people are so disruptive - and know that the school won't/can't effectively punish them - that they leave school with no sense of responsibility or useful life-skills. In these circumstances I can see why some see the benefits system as a bit of a game to be played, and they have no real experience of anyone (except, mostly, parents) with the actual ability to modify or correct them in ways that affect their quality of life.

The attitude of the father of the little girl is horrendous; and he will only go on to sire other unfortunate children which he'll neither want nor care about.

My heart goes out to you Laura, and to your grand-daughter. I hope everything will be OK. I can't really offer any advice other than what has already been suggested, save to echo that http://www.stepchange.org/ are incredibly helpful. But even they will run out of options if your daughter continues to lie and deceive the authorities.

Best wishes for a happier future. xx

Thank you for your message. My daughter also never finished school, as much as I tried to convince her that she needed education; she insisted that she didn't. I had meeting after meeting at the school, but they decided in the end she could do as she wished. She bitterly regrets this now and I am sure there are people that would judge me for that, but all my other children have been very happy at school and had a good education.


I do feel if she hadn't got mixed up with the father of her child then things might have turned out differently for her. Your right he couldn't careless about what they're both going through, but I will always be here for her to pick up the pieces. I am hoping that this is the last time I will have to because it would be good to see them both happy and settled.

sharnad

laura678 wrote: »

Thank you for your message. My daughter also never finished school, as much as I tried to convince her that she needed education; she insisted that she didn't. I had meeting after meeting at the school, but they decided in the end she could do as she wished. She bitterly regrets this now and I am sure there are people that would judge me for that, but all my other children have been very happy at school and had a good education.


I do feel if she hadn't got mixed up with the father of her child then things might have turned out differently for her. Your right he couldn't careless about what they're both going through, but I will always be here for her to pick up the pieces. I am hoping that this is the last time I will have to because it would be good to see them both happy and settled.

Yourlocal l council has specisl help for under 25 yrs old with special needs why dont you ask if they can advise

laura678

Well, yesterday there was a glimmer of hope that I was getting through to my daughter.


Unfortunately, today she has announced she is back with him and he is moving back in tomorrow. So I said putting all the arguments and violence aside, what about her daughter and what about the finances and feeding/clothing her,
She said she will make a joint claim for ESA, however he has just been told that he has been sanctioned for a second time for not bothering to turn up for appointments and a job interview so no money for 26 weeks. No child tax credits either because she is sanctioned for the benefit fraud. Housing benefit also told her if he comes back again, they will be taking the decision to a panel to decide whether the rent will be paid.


So now I don't know what to do, I cannot support all 3 on my wages, especially if he wont even consider a job, I don't want to support him anyway. What should I do for my daughter and grand daughter for the next 6 months, I think the decision will soon be taken out of our hands..

suse*

Gosh you're really between a rock and hard place. Does she have any friends or an aunt or godmother you could get to talk to her? There is always something about parents and children that they have to do the oposite. If you could find someone who could help explain to her if would be better for the child etc to put off him moving in for 6 months say, just to get this benifits stuff resolved. If it comes from someone who isn't you but she respects still and spins it in the right way that might help give you some breathing space from the boyfriend at least. So not saying they break up, just that he shouldn't live there just yet till some of this is more sorted out.

Do you know if she went to the cab? Also has she been interviewed under caution already or not, as she might need someone to go with her to help protect her interests rather than the boyfriend maybe twisting how all this happened. I don't have much experince of this either, but I believe that is one of the first steps before working out how much they might need to pay back, and you want to make sure he is as liable as much as her I'd have thought. Again cab should be able to help with this.

As for the mention of getting her assessed, depending how old she was when that happened things have moved on a lot in the past 15 years so although they might classed her as "normal" then it could be they say she is dyslexic or a few other things now. Getting help for something like dyslexia can be life changing as it helps you realise you're not going mad, you just think in a different way. It isn't all about reading it is also impacts concentration and time management amongst other things, which might explain the problems on complicated phone calls. First things first though is keeping the boy out of the house without it turning into romeo and juliet.