Help!!! Daughter wants help buying first house

beverleyhills

MrSmartprice wrote: »

You could take out a charge on the property. Whatever amount you contribute, take ownership of that percentage of the purchase cost. That way, if it all goes wrong you would get that percentage back when the house was sold. If you had been paid back in the meantime, sign your share over to your daughter.

Make sure you get it all done properly by the solicitor who does the conveyancing, to protect your investment.

This seems to be good advice. Many relationships do not survive refurbisnment projects.

scubaleopard

Thanks for all your good advice -- it is so difficult when you want to help your children get going on the housing ladder

Fulham_Mark

could be worth investigating a "family offset" mortgage -just skim read this in the papers today.

basically an off-set mortgage where parents, uncles etc can add savings to off-set the mortgage but the cash still belongs to the parents.

could prevent ownership of the £8000 being lost

don't know everything about it but could be worth checking out

Elle00

I'd say don't lend money to family quite frankly...

Setting up a legal agreement with your DD isn't going to help matters, you'll still be harrassing her for money if she breaks up with this guy part way through the refurbishment and throws the money away with or without a legal agreement!

If you can afford to make her a GIFT then do that. And if that gift happens to be £4k not £8k then tough; she'll have to go to the bank for a private loan to make up the rest like adults usually do I'm afraid. It'll save your relationship in the long run and she can hardly be ungrateful for several thousand pounds of free cash.

My ex-FIL was pretty financially stable so when he planned for his retirement he also incorportated assistance for his children into his budget. For his son, my ex-husband, he put down £20k for a house back when houses were affordable and this amounted to nearly a third of the mortgage. When I met my ex six years later he still lived in this house and paid the mortgage regularly, however he had already remortgaged the thing in it's entirety thanks to the increase in equity and spent it on god only knows what. I mean the man earned £23kpa at this time and lived alone with a £400pcm mortgage!!! What the hell could he possibly want that he could not afford in that situation?!

When I came along and we married and had a baby, he continued to be c**p with money and just hid his debts on secret credit cards. He was very controlling and sexist so I wasn't allowed to know about finances etc and just had to assume he was managing things.

Well he wasn't, by the time I divorced him he had hardly anything left. He'd accumulated nearly ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS in equity in that first house; we had already had to leave town to buy a cheaper house elswhere to unlock £35k of it to pay off his debts before baby was born. Then through yet more sheer stupidy he had just £25k left when we divorced. Now he's on £25kpa and has just £25k in the bank - you tell me how he's ever going to leave home again? 34 yrs old :rotfl:

Sorry. But the story is a valuable one to learn from. You ask his parents what he's like and do you think they'll say he's a wife-beating, reckless spend-a-holic? No; they'll say he's a hardworking, respectable young chap who unfortunately moved in with a money-grabbing, unstable girl who spent all his money and ran off with his child. It ain't in the least bit true but then they do say love is blind...

Please do help your DD with a gift if you're able to because it's very hard for any young people to get on the property ladder these days. Just because this man had an unstable homelife, it doesn't mean he won't make a loving partner. It's her life and her mistake to make, she just needs to know her parents love her and their door is always open. I really would say no the loan though; you're quite right to be cautious lending money that you cannot afford to a family member. Imagine if my ex-FIL had LOANED that £20k to my ex? He didn't expect what happened to happen either you know, he still thinks the sun shines out of my ex's backside.

ashcarrot

How much is £9k to you? Is it something that would seriously effect you if you lost it?

I think the poster is more concerned about the bf taking that money if things goes wrong is that correct? or you need the money back full stop?

Gorgeous_George

I'd sooner gift the money than loan it. If you can afford to do this you make it clear that it is instead of paying for a big wedding.

You still need to consider all possible outcomes.

What if they split up and the house is worth less than they paid? £8K gone and your daughter may still carry some debt.

What if prices fall and after the house is refurbished it is still worth less than was paid for it?

What if prices rise?

What if you NEED the money back before they can afford to repay you?

As for being a guarantor, how long is this for and is there a limit of liability? It's one thing guaranteeing a few months' mortgage payments, it's quite another guaranteeing the loan especially if prices fall by 10%, 20%, 30%, ??%.

If they are a couple it's not his money or her money. It's THEIR money. If they are not committed enough for marriage maybe they should rent for a while.



GG