Starting my divorce

JR4

Off to my solicitor tomorrow to start the ball rolling on my divorce I am feeling very nervous ( a bit sad ) but I know this is the right thing to do. My husband left in January and moved in with his younger model on Saturday. My children ( I have 4 ) were coping ok until he moved in with the girl unfortunately he is putting her needs before my children.I have told him how they feel but he always tells me I am lying so have stopped talking to him now.

Tommelise

Feeling nervous and sad is understandable, but from you have written on this forum in this tread and other posts filing for divorce seems the right choice.

Shame on you ex not to put your children first, but hopefully this will be better in time.

Hugs for you and the children

Confusedandneedhelp

Good luck op, sounds like you've tried your best

meer53

JR4 wrote: »

Off to my solicitor tomorrow to start the ball rolling on my divorce I am feeling very nervous ( a bit sad ) but I know this is the right thing to do. My husband left in January and moved in with his younger model on Saturday. My children ( I have 4 ) were coping ok until he moved in with the girl unfortunately he is putting her needs before my children.I have told him how they feel but he always tells me I am lying so have stopped talking to him now.

Don't worry OP, the novelty will soon wear off !

Just be there for your children, they'll soon make up their own minds about what happened. Mine have.

JR4

Thank you all for your support I just find this so hard we were together 20 years and married 15 ( we did get together young ) but he has changed into such a selfish person I just miss who he used to be not the person he has become.
I find it very hard to see how he treats the children I would die for them he just doesn't care and thinks they should be ok with what has happened and how he is behaving.
I try to encourage him to see the children more but he just lets them down so we now stick to his one day every other week.

Marker_2

I wish I could tell you things like 'he will regret it', 'karma will get him' and other such key words.

But being the child of a father that did similar to your husband, some men just don't 'get it' and never will.

You are clearly a good mother, by having concerns that are out of your scope. It is no consolation and will not make things easier in the short term but keep doing what your doing.

It really is his loss and your gain.

meer53

JR4 wrote: »

Thank you all for your support I just find this so hard we were together 20 years and married 15 ( we did get together young ) but he has changed into such a selfish person I just miss who he used to be not the person he has become.
I find it very hard to see how he treats the children I would die for them he just doesn't care and thinks they should be ok with what has happened and how he is behaving.
I try to encourage him to see the children more but he just lets them down so we now stick to his one day every other week.

Been there and done that

Whatever you do, don't put your ex down in front of your children, it will be one of the hardest things you ever do but your ex will get his comeuppance eventually. And you will be much happier.

My ex regrets going off with his floozie (who has now left him) and is on his own. I have no regrets at all. My life is brilliant :rotfl:

Morglin

Divorce can be a sombre thing, and although I didn't and don't regret mine, 30 years of my married life condensed on court papers did bring a wry smile.

My kids were adult, and they were fine, but 8 years after my divorce, mx ex decided (for silly reasons) to 'disown' his kids, which has caused them hurt.:mad:

He decided, at the point of the divorce, to run me down to anyone he spoke to, including the kids, and accused me of all sorts lol (I wish I had got up to half the things he said I have!....:rotfl:)

But, I bit my tongue and didn't say a word against him, because tit for tat seemed silly, and I didn't need to try and 'win' the argument anyway.

It didn't help when I quickly met someone else, but life moves on, and I have never been happier.:beer:

Good luck with it, and I hope your ex starts being a good dad, whether or not be stays with his current girlfriend.

Lin

JR4

Thank you all for your support and advice I have seen the solictor and all went well I feel more in control now and am just looking forward to the future with my children and will be there for them ( even if their father isn't as you have said it will be his loss I will just make sure my kids are ok).

Confusedandneedhelp

JR4 wrote: »

Thank you all for your support and advice I have seen the solictor and all went well I feel more in control now and am just looking forward to the future with my children and will be there for them ( even if their father isn't as you have said it will be his loss I will just make sure my kids are ok).

Your kids will miss their dad, they wont really get it, dont take that personally.

Life wont be easy, but perservere, sometimes the most unlikely things happen. (even if its not reconciling, your ex may wake up and realise what he's missing, and become a really good dad)


Me and my ex went through mediation, both went to solicitors and everything. Looked like it would go to court. (this was child access/contact/whatever u want to call it, not divorce), and then we decided that it was too much for them, and now we are good friends. (slowly working towards reconciling). - anger etc, makes us do stupid things, and divorce is bound to be emotional, dont falter, but dont punish yourself either