My friend is constantly moving the goal posts?

sheltered

Hi Guys,
Basically one of my good freinds has become involved in using recreational drugs at uni. Mainly party stuff like MDMA, Coke, Acid but still pretty serious drugs. But she mentioned it a week ago really causally...... as if she'd had a cold and took some cough medicine which makes me think how often is she doing it?!

She started smoking weed which I thought was ridiculous but I dealt with it because I thought like she only does it very occasionally so it does't matter. Last time I saw her, which was slightly after feb she told me that her boyfriend had done some drugs 'with the lads' and she was really angry with him and regarded it as a stupid thing to do. Now it seems like smoking weed is a thing she does often, and the cocaine etc is the weekend stuff. She's doing all of this with her uni friends, who are all wealthy daddy's little girl types and I don't want to be judgemental but I don't think they know everything she has going on in her life or they wouldn't encourage her down this path.

Question is really; should I say anything, what can I say and also is it even my place?!

pinkshoes

Drugs are for people who lack personality.

I'd perhaps voice your concern, but if she's not willing to stop, do you really want a friend who thinks she has to get high to have fun?

DKLS

I would be tempted to say mind your own her body her choice, I know of professionals who have been taking recreational drugs at the weekend for over 20 years and are otherwise law abiding and productive citizens and can balance their responsibilities with their fun.

If she is going to buy and use I would suggest that she only buys from trusted sources and only takes drugs with friends who will look after her e.g. if she goes off on a bad trip, do her friends know how to spot this and bring her back round and if any of the friends are the type who suggests "lets go to alton towers on pills and acid" run away as fast as she can.

redcard

pinkshoes wrote: »

Drugs are for people who lack personality.

I think you probably know that's not true.

duchy

redcard wrote: »

I think you probably know that's not true.

It's true many people use drugs to bolster their confidence and have "less personality" when not taking their drugs.....no different to alcohol. Naturally they don't want to admit it though.

OP if you are good friends then she knows you don't take drugs -so is she mentioning drugs to show you how "cool" she is (as if) or because she wants your approval .....or because she wants you to say she shouldn't be ?

Uni is out for the summer now and exam results looming- If her results are poor maybe a conversation about partying in general (rather than drugs in particular) might be appropriate ? If she really loves her new lifestyle though it may be time to accept she is changing and her friendships are based on other things at least for now and loosen the ties a bit.

Carl31

pinkshoes wrote: »

Drugs are for people who lack personality.

I'd perhaps voice your concern, but if she's not willing to stop, do you really want a friend who thinks she has to get high to have fun?

Ridiculous comment

Recreational drugs, including alcohol, are used by people for enjoyment. yes they can lead to trouble, so can one to many big macs or a hobby in extreme sports, and yes they are illegal, but so is a lot of things people still do

to the OP, it's good.to show concern, and as a friend keep an eye on things, but your friend is an adult and hence can make her own choices. If you are really worried, do some proper research into the substances to get a balanced view ie not reading the daily mail

geri1965_2

She's young, she's experimenting, leave her be. Most likely she won't come to any harm, but be there for her in case she needs you.

redcard

duchy wrote: »

It's true many people use drugs to bolster their confidence and have "less personality" when not taking their drugs.....no different to alcohol. Naturally they don't want to admit it though.

The internet is for people who don't have any friends.

egoode

Do you think she's taking the drugs to seem 'cool' to her friends or because she actually wants to take them for her own reasons.

If it was because she want to seem 'cool' I'd probably be tempted to say something and try and make her realise she doesn't have to take them just to fit in with her 'friends'.

If it's because she wants to take them to see what it is like I don't think anything you say will really change her mind. However I'd probably be tempted to tell her you don't feel comfortable with drug use and you would prefer she doesn't take any drugs while you are around.

System

Keep a tight rein on your purse, your possessions, anything really.

sheltered

Judi wrote: »

Keep a tight rein on your purse, your possessions, anything really.

I'm sorry- I should be clear here- she's not a helpless junkie, her parents are millionaires. She has plenty of money and I doubt she has any use for my possessions.