Depression and counselling for pensioners

Jemima5317

Hi everyone.

Without wanting to go into too much detail, I've spent some time with a relative recently who told me they've been prescribed antidepressants and have been having panic attacks.

The depression is, I suspect, an on and off lifelong thing as a result of an unhappy upbringing and marriage. The person concerned is older (retirement age) and I wondered whether counselling would be helpful or might just make things worse - I know counselling isn't an easy fix after all, and requires hard work and facing some unpleasant things. I would also be fairly certain that the person concerned would not want to change the status quo of their marriage regardless (and I'm not suggesting that they should).

This person also has a shocking memory which makes me a bit more ambivalent about whether counselling would help; I'd hate for them to attend, face things they find upsetting and then not remember and reap the eventual benefits.

So, lovely MSE people, does anyone have experience of older people receiving counselling and whether it's helped you/loved ones? Is it worth perhaps gently suggesting my relative explore this avenue? I'm in a position to help out a bit financially so wouldn't suggest (if people think it would help) but then leave my relative stranded unable to access it.

TIA

Jx

Skintmama

Counselling can be of help to any age group.

As your relative is receiving anti -depressants from the GP they could ask for counselling in addition to this, especially if they are having panic attacks. They would most probably be offered a short course of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy following an assessment of their needs.

Memory is often affected by depression and also sometimes by anti depressants so I wouldn't see it as precluding them making use of further help.

Maybe you could find out what is on offer from the NHS in your relative's area and make your suggestion from there. There are many types of counselling and not all go into deep, historical emotional issues or analyse relationships. However, it does tend to change the status quo and people do have to feel motivated to attend counselling.

Jemima5317

Thank you. I'll follow up with them gently. Not sure they'll want to pursue it, but I can suggest they give it a go.

Jx

jewelly

It sounds to me as if your relative may have the beginnings of dementia - I say this because you have mentioned a bad memory (if you mean short-term memory where she may not remember what she had for dinner yesterday but can remember events from years gone by). Depression is very common with this condition, and anti-depressants can help. The sufferer realises that all is not well with them but cannot understand what it is. This causes the anxiety and panic symptoms. If dementia is the case I would say counselling would not help, but just having someone to befriend her would be good. Perhaps that is the role you fulfil.
Apologies if I've mis-judged the situation.

Morglin

Perhaps get a Dementia check, via the GP, done first?

My mother got like this, and it was the onset of Alzheimer's .

Lin

Jemima5317

Thank you both jewellery and morglin. Dementia is a possibility I suppose, though a saddening one. Unfortunately I live a fair way away from this person, and they are (in my opinion) very unlikely to ask for a dementia test as this person is v unwilling to take responsibility for themselves at the best of times; a potential diagnosis of dementia is likely to make them stick their head in the sand. So sad. Thank you all for taking the time to respond.
Jx

Savvy_Sue

There is nothing to stop you writing to your relative's GP and expressing your concerns. They probably can't tell you what they find if they do engage, but it might get something started without your relative having to take the initiative.