Passed over on a promotion. How to deal with it?

nande2000

If it were me I would ask for some time off. Sounds like you need to take the emotion out of the situation and then make a decision on next steps.

I would consider if it is possible for you to ask for a sideways move into a new 'stretch' position. Failing that it does sound like its time to brush the CV off and move on.

Gavin83

esj13 wrote: »

I am now back at work. And on Friday morning before I went home the boss pulled me into the office and basically told me that I was walking around labouring under the impression that it was a foregone conclusion that the job would be mine.
He told me that even though I have been here longest and have worked hardest, gained more skills and experience, in the interview I failed to shine as brightly as I could due to apparent nerves.
It was all i could do to avoid telling him how he was contradicting himself and to deny me the job for which I have worked so hard to earn based on an interview was silly, as I do not perform my daily duties under the pressure of being interviewed by 2 people I know.

The guy who got the job has already started flexing his muscles and cracking knuckles by leaving instructions for jobs to be done on the night shifts and it's nothing short of infuriating and humiliating.

It's not uncommon to have internal interviews based purely on the interview outcome and nothing else, I've been to a few. You should have really been aware of this beforehand though. Did they not tell you it was purely interview based?

I think the best thing for you to do is find another job, there is little point in you staying anymore as coming from your position it seems the working relationship has broken down. You could also just get over it but it doesn't seem you can. The current situation won't change though, he is still your boss and will continue to be.

Triker

Could you go agency in your line of work?

I've had similar experiences to yourself and I now run my own business but also do agency work.

I can pick and choose where I work, for how long and pay is considerably more than what I would have ever achieved promotions or otherwise in what I was doing previously.

Plus if I wish for time off I can take it. Finished last contract, have had 6 weeks to concentrate on day business then decided to build savings up again.

Example was I had a 'discussion' not interview with a manager on Friday, was successful, started saturday evening.

shortcrust

Unfortunately, doing your current job exceptionally well only qualifies you to do your job. It doesn't 'earn' more senior positions. Slackers are promoted over grafters every day because slackers often become grafters when given a more demanding role or a role that taps different skills. Employers are often pretty good at spotting potential in new starters and the results often seem unfair and cause upset.

If you're really sure that you were the best person for the new job and if you're really sure that you did enough to convince them of that, then start looking for work elsewhere. They don't deserve you! But I wouldn't work to rule. What does it gain you? A bit of awkwardness, an end to any chance of progression and a big hint to your employer that you're planning to buzz off. I'd play nice and wave a cheery goodbye as you move on to bigger and better things.

bristol_pilot

You were very much mistaken (and naive) if you think that being there the longest or working hard has anything to do with being selected for promotion. It is the person who best answers the interview questions on the day who gets the promotion, simples. And being complacent may have meant that you might not have prepared as thoroughly as another candidate or not come across as being sufficiently 'hungry' for the job. That's life, learn from it and move on. And I don't necessarily mean look for another job, that's far too drastic.

As this was an internal interview, it might be worth asking for feedback but don't expect to be told anything useful and in particular don't expect them to tell you anything about the way other people answered the questions and why their answers were better than yours.

QuackQuackOops

esj13 wrote: »

I couldn't get in any earlier as i was getting buses at the time and the timings of them at that time in the evening were unavoidable.

I'm going to find it hard to react positively. It's just never been in my nature to hide my feelings.

The current boss's regime has forced 2 people out of the workplace in the last 6 months, both within 3 months of each other. On the first occasion it was a result of workplace bullying for which the boss was suspended and then reinstated in his role. Shortly after which the person who had lodged grievance felt intimidated and left.
I surely can't be brought up for disagreeing with their decision?
Is there a way in which I can pose a question against the appointment without sounding like a jealous saboteur?

I think you have answered part of the problem here. "It's just never been in my nature to hide my feelings."

Perhaps that is why you have been passed over...your attitude has been noted. Hurt Pride is nothing to be noted.

I am sure that you worked hard, arrive on time, etc but that isn't enough.
Managers are looking for 'Yes' men. And it sounds as though you have difficulty being that person.

Forgot this "betray my feelings" nonsense as that will get you nowhere except feeling bitter and resentful.

Follow the prior advice and say "The best man got the job", grit your teeth, smile and stay quiet.
Perhaps then the managers might look upon you more favourably in any job.

QuackQuackOops

esj13 wrote: »

I am now back at work. And on Friday morning before I went home the boss pulled me into the office and basically told me that I was walking around labouring under the impression that it was a foregone conclusion that the job would be mine.
He told me that even though I have been here longest and have worked hardest, gained more skills and experience, in the interview I failed to shine as brightly as I could due to apparent nerves.
It was all i could do to avoid telling him how he was contradicting himself and to deny me the job for which I have worked so hard to earn based on an interview was silly, as I do not perform my daily duties under the pressure of being interviewed by 2 people I know.

The guy who got the job has already started flexing his muscles and cracking knuckles by leaving instructions for jobs to be done on the night shifts and it's nothing short of infuriating and humiliating.

In addition to the above and after reading further, it would seem you need to do a lot of growing up.
It seems that everything that is wrong is someone elses fault, you take no responsibility for anything, you seem to be under the impression that your feelings/pride/integrity/work ethics etc are the only ones that matter and you appear to be very bitter and extremely resentful.
If this is coming across on a forum like this, then it will be magnified in 'real life'.

It does beg the question, why ask for advice or opinions if you are just going to scoff at what is given?
It seems likely that you were hoping for a little more tea and sympathy and not getting it has left you losing face somewhat.

You have had some excellent advice (the kind of advice a manager would be looking for) and you do not appear to be at all grateful for any of it.
Instead, you have argued how wrong you think it all is.

It's not very productive at all.

burnleymik

QuackQuackOops wrote: »

In addition to the above and after reading further, it would seem you need to do a lot of growing up.
It seems that everything that is wrong is someone elses fault, you take no responsibility for anything, you seem to be under the impression that your feelings/pride/integrity/work ethics etc are the only ones that matter and you appear to be very bitter and extremely resentful.
If this is coming across on a forum like this, then it will be magnified in 'real life'.

It does beg the question, why ask for advice or opinions if you are just going to scoff at what is given?
It seems likely that you were hoping for a little more tea and sympathy and not getting it has left you losing face somewhat.

You have had some excellent advice (the kind of advice a manager would be looking for) and you do not appear to be at all grateful for any of it.
Instead, you have argued how wrong you think it all is.

It's not very productive at all.

Hmm I don't see it like that. Firstly if OP had this attitude you are pinning to them then I doubt they would still be in any job for long.

I think the OP has cause to feel disgruntled. They clearly have put the work in, proven themselves and even carried colleagues along the way to prove themselves to be the best they can be and even though they clearly stood head and shoulders above the others in the job, they were still overlooked.

If you can tell me seriously you wouldn't be bothered at all in OP's situation I would question your honesty.

Also, where has the OP "scoffed" at replies? As far as I can see it's nice for someone to be open and honest about how they feel.

Do I think causing problems is going to get him anywhere now?... no, it's water under the bridge.

If you feel undervalued it's time to move on. Do your job well until you leave and don;t burn your bridges because you never know what life can throw at you.

GL OP.

natters_2

I really feel for you - exactly the same happened to me yesterday with the added insult of the person who would have been my direct manager telling me I was their choice. A previous incident complaining to HR about abusive behaviour from another more senior towards staff has effectively blocked me from ever getting further whilst said manager is still there. I handed in my notice within an hour of being told. A company is only ever as good as the people working there. Take your skills and offer them to a company that will reward you for hard work not hold you back on what appears to be a personal not professional level.

Acc72

shortcrust wrote: »

Unfortunately, doing your current job exceptionally well only qualifies you to do your job.


It doesn't 'earn' more senior positions.


Slackers are promoted over grafters every day because slackers often become grafters when given a more demanding role or a role that taps different skills.

The top bit is spot on.


eg. I don't know what line of work the OP is in, however say in a team of 5 sales people, the person who is "top" salesperson will think that they should be the sales manager, however in reality this role is a completely different skill set and they may not be best suited to the role.


The second quote is good - I also agree.