Passed over on a promotion. How to deal with it?

Acc72

esj13 wrote: »

If i hadnt thought myself the best person for the job I wouldn't have applied. And my manager is fully aware of my goals within the company and he also is aware of how small a company it is with new positions coming up only once in a blue moon.
I'm personally incline to disagree with saying to them that I think the best person got the job. That's very defeatist and shows that I wasn't the right person.
The only course of action for me now it seems is to find a new professional habitat and wait until my resignation letter and exit interview to really go to town on them.

It appears that you had made up your mind before asking for advice ?

esj13

I hadn't made up my mind. My head was reeling from the assault on my pride and was just asking for advice that might seem more sensible in the cold light of day.

This is the second promotion they have turned me down for but the first one was a position not of great importance to me, just a move in a better direction. However it was offered to an external candidate with much more experience than me. However in this case I was the more experienced of the 3 and I was snubbed. And it hurts. Quite possibly like nothing I have ever felt before and therefore seems to have damaged my relationship with the company for whom I have otherwise loved working.
For these reasons I don't feel I can stay and now work under an employee newer than myself and face the fact they have some degree of authority over me and the way I work.

cazziebo

esj13 wrote: »

For these reasons I don't feel I can stay and now work under an employee newer than myself and face the fact they have some degree of authority over me and the way I work.

Of course you can. Your pride has been dented - that's all. How you feel right now is completely natural, but it's temporary. Don't do anything rash. You loved working there - the only thing that's changed in real terms is you report to someone different. It could have been an external person. The person who got the job is probably just as apprehensive - if not more so - than you are. And, unless it's a very well-resourced company (which so few are these days) then they will need to win your support, confidence and respect to do their job. They'll be under the microscope. In many ways, you have a lot of influence over what happens next and how the future pans out.

If you really don't feel you can stay then put feelers out before you do anything hasty. But rarely is the grass greener elsewhere - before this you were happy there, you can get over this and get there again.

Gavin83

Do you actually have any idea why the other person was chosen over you for the job? Have you had any issues there in the past which might have worked against you for example?

esj13

The boss was suspended before Christmas for allegations of racist, homophobic and just general discriminatory conduct.
On this occasion I was called in (not having been the whistle blower nor protected under its so called procedures) and I had to provide evidence for the investigation.
Since then there have been a couple of issues that have felt as though he has been picking on things I do.
On one occasion he reported me to HR because of a job that hadn't been done. At the time I told him it hadn't been done and explained why. I received no feedback at the time and the next day I received a letter stating I was under investigation for gross misconduct. This claim then bounced back to him when I was asked why I hadn't informed the manager of the incident and when I told them I had and provided written proof in the handover files he was then called in on his management skills and the claim against me dropped.

pmduk

I wonder if his input to the promotion process put you in a less than glamorous light?

esj13

I am now back at work. And on Friday morning before I went home the boss pulled me into the office and basically told me that I was walking around labouring under the impression that it was a foregone conclusion that the job would be mine.
He told me that even though I have been here longest and have worked hardest, gained more skills and experience, in the interview I failed to shine as brightly as I could due to apparent nerves.
It was all i could do to avoid telling him how he was contradicting himself and to deny me the job for which I have worked so hard to earn based on an interview was silly, as I do not perform my daily duties under the pressure of being interviewed by 2 people I know.

The guy who got the job has already started flexing his muscles and cracking knuckles by leaving instructions for jobs to be done on the night shifts and it's nothing short of infuriating and humiliating.

seven-day-weekend

Maybe you were a bit too complacent at your interview because you thought the job was already yours. That happened to me once - I did not get the job, but I learned from it and prepared for every other interview as thoroughly as I could .

The last interview I had, earlier this year (for a voluntary position as a Job Coach, with Christians Against Poverty (CAP) ) was a stinker and by phone, which I hated, but luckily I had brushed up my interview skills (I'm 64 and have been out of the workplace for ten years) and gave them what they wanted. I did not assume I would be selected because for a position of this nature it is so important to have the right person.

Better luck next time.

Ozzuk

Sounds like you need to find another job. Of course the 'new' manager will want to flex his muscles and assert his authority. You have the problem, not him.

Really nasty situation and I feel for you, life is too short to be unhappy so look for a new role. Even the process of looking will help your motivation and ability to deal with your job, and you never know what they could offer you to stay. Above all though, try and stay professional and the 'bigger person' even if it chews you up inside - it will get easier over time if you can learn to 'ski' over the issues instead of trudging through the snow every day.

I may have overdone the metaphors, but you get the picture

burnleymik

esj13 wrote: »

I am now back at work. And on Friday morning before I went home the boss pulled me into the office and basically told me that I was walking around labouring under the impression that it was a foregone conclusion that the job would be mine.

Given what he followed that up with:

He told me that even though I have been here longest and have worked hardest, gained more skills and experience,

then surely you had every right to feel this way?

It does seem oike there is some kind of payback/spitefullness in there, but unless you can prove it, you are going to have to take it on the chin and move on.

Lingering on this will only make it worse for you because the other people involved will not care one way or another.

Look for a new job and move on to gain back your sense of self-worth.

gl