Grandparents looking after kids, slow reactions

Counting_Pennies_2

Hi I was in a local out of town carpark and driving past the Mothercare, a grandparent was looking after her toddler grandchild.


I was driving incredibly slowly, looking for a space when the toddler just toddled out behind the car. I slammed the brakes on and despite doing no more than 3 mph by doing an emergency stop my DD in the back was hurt by her seat belt and quite upset.


I was staggered at the slow response of the grandparent. She was no more than in her 60s. But her reaction to the child was dreadfully slow.


I wanted to post this message, as I know many people do have grandparents providing childcare in the week while at work. I wondered if it might be an idea if your child starts to toddle, whether to suggest reigns or request for a child not to be out of a pushchair.


It made me wonder how many other grandparents might take some time to realise the lightning speed a toddler can suddenly take off at, when they might look after them once a week, the child's abilities increase massively in just a few days.


She seemed oblivious to what could have happened if I had not slammed the breaks on.

marywooyeah

CP it's lucky that you saw the child in time, it could have ended much worse.

I completely agree with your concerns, did you get out and say anything to the grandparent at the time of the incident?

Counting_Pennies_2

marywooyeah wrote: »

CP it's lucky that you saw the child in time, it could have ended much worse.

I completely agree with your concerns, did you get out and say anything to the grandparent at the time of the incident?

I was really shocked and my dd was crying too. So I parked the car and went to say something to her but she was gone.


It just made me think how many parents happily send their little ones off to the grandparents without the discussion about how much the child has sped up in the week, the need to always hold their hand and keep them attached to you some how, via reigns, strapped pushchair or held.

burnsguitarman

I understand that you're upset. But many children are far safer being looked after by Grandparents, there are lots of incompetent parents out there as well.
This was just an incident that you witnessed, but could quite easily have been with parents.

rach_k

I'm not sure what age really has to do with it, unless the grandparent was visibly restricted in their movement. Sometimes people freeze when they see something about to happen - my daughter once toddled away from her dad while I was walking towards them across a car park. I saw a car reversing towards her and I just froze. There was no way I could have gotten to her in time and her dad was right there anyway and I did yell to the driver to stop but to an onlooker I suppose I just didn't move - would they be criticising my slow reaction time due to my advancing years if I was 40 years older?

Still, I think it's worth a reminder to anybody of any age that toddlers don't have any road sense. I don't particularly think reins are a good idea used like a dog lead but firm hand holding near roads (with reins as back up if you're not confident you could hold onto a runner) is a must for me.

meritaten

I think this is really unfair - what about all those kids I see running amok in car parks because mum is on the phone and totally oblivious to where the kids are? I see this every day when I take GS2 to school too......the kids are running ahead and often cross the road without looking, while mum is txt'ing or chatting! MY GS has to hold my hand (he is six and is starting to find it embarrassing now), but, I can still tell that when he sees a friend on the other side of the road he tries to just run to him/her. Why single out older people? after all, they managed to bring up their own kids!

skintchick

I think this was just an accident, surely? My DD ran into the road on our way to school a while back - she's used to the lollipop lady being in the road waiting and just ran in front of a car. It was frightening as she was nearly hit, but I don't believe I was slow or at fault, it just happened. I'm sure things just happen to grandparents too.

Georgiegirl256

Totally unfair to blame it on the grandparents age.

Yes, your reactions slow down as you get older but the amount of younger and really young parents I've seen letting their kids run amok, not keeping hold of them at busy roads is unbelievable.

Most grandparents treat their grandchildren with the utmost care and attention. So again, nothing to do with age and everything to do with the individual IMO.

azzabazza

Sorry, but this is not an age thing. This sort of accident could happen whoever is in charge of an active toddler. If anything, as a grandparent, I am over cautious when in charge of my grandchildren.

kingfisherblue

I agree that age can slow down reactions, but to be honest, as others have said, many parents pay less attention to their children than their grandparents do. So many people these days seem to be surgically attached to their phone, but they don't tend to be of grandparent age (in most cases that I have seen).


Today I have taken my middle child out for the day - my younger son has gone away with school and my daughter is at work, so it was just R and myself. R is a wheelchair user. Twice, young children have run directly in front of his chair, both times in the care of adults whom I assume were their parents (based on their approximate age). On the other hand, there were some children out with their grandparents. The ones that we encountered were far more careful about running around the wheelchair, rather than in front of it. Some even stood to one side of the path to allow us to pass, although it has to be said that adults tend to do that, or encourage their children to do so.


I understand your concern, OP, and it may be valid for some grandparents, but it is also a valid concern when the children are with their parents as well.

Counting_Pennies_2

The reason I raised it was her reactions were very slow, she seemed oblivious to the dangers to the child, and of her ability to move at speed. I remember only too well when my inlaws would look after mine that they were unprepared for the changes in their development as they weren't around them all the time.


It might have been her age, or it might have been that not being with her all the time, she might not have been aware of the little one's speed had picked up in the days since she had her last.


I paused before I pressed send as I was sure I would get a barrage of responses to tell me I was being unfair and ageist and all the rest, but I genuinely posted hoping that if one person thought to speak with their parent as they dropped them off for child care that they might stop an accident.