Daughter approaching 16-dla question

teabag29

Hi, my daughter is on high rate care and low rate mobility. She has a variety of disabilities, PDA (which is on the autistic spectrum) ADHD, dyslexia, sensory processing disorder, general development delay and learning difficulties.

I fought all the way to appeal hearing to get her a statement of SEN to get her some support in school 14 mths ago but was turned down (funding seems to have played a big part), in short her anxiety was so high she spent 6 weeks in a child mental health establishment, attempted suicide twice and began self harming, her food obsession also went into overdrive.

I took her out of school a year ago as she clearly could not manage and began home educating her, her anxiety slowly went down but all of her other problems remained. Last month she started on a part time college course for kids with special needs (3 days per week) she has been there 3 weeks and they broke up for summer on friday.

Since she started ive been called in 4 times, her socialization skills are not good (common with pda, she only gets on with much younger kids who will allow her to dominate them) and she has been lying to both me and her tutor largely down to food (she has been borrowing money off pupils promising to pay it back to buy sweet foods, coming home telling me she got it all from being given a voucher for doing good work and saying tht activities are going on at college so she will be late home when they aren't, she tells her tutor the same lies that ive given her extra money and all sorts of other things). She has begun self harming again in the last week of college due to a friend she has known a week falling out with her (she gets very obsessed with people and takes it badly if even something small is said to her yet she can be very mean to them, she doesn't have very good empathy skills, again something i have been trying to work on with her).

I want her to be able to live as independently as possible and i am working hard on life skills lessons with her and socialization etc but t the moment she is nowhere near that level. The key characteristic with her PDA is manipulation and boy is she good at it, she has accused teachers of !!!!!philia, me of abuse, neighbours of abuse and theft, all sorts and she is very god when she lies, very believable (she was caught shop lifting lots of food on cctv and still stood there denying it and even the police said had they not stood there watching her on camera they would've believed it as she gave an award winning performance.... to look at her on the outside you wouldn't be able to tell she has disabilities, it's only when you spend time with her it becomes apparent).

Now I face my next dilemma....her dla isn't up for renewal until next year but her 16th birthday is in Novemeber so i assume i will shortly be getting a form to ask about her capaility of managing her own money. I am worried about this, at present I feel she really isn't and will be saying so on the form but I also know she will not agree with me and due to her manipulation skills and determination to get extra food I am worried that during the visit from dla (which i understand happens when a child turns 16 to determine if they need an appointee) she will say what she needs to in order to persuade them otherwise. Then that's where my worry starts...... when i say she has a food obsession thats an understatement, she has sat and ate 24 large bars of galaxy 1 after the other in the past (in the middle of the night), she has shop lifted, stolen from everyone and anyone from their purse to get money for food or from pack up boxes etc, her subject she has chosen at college is cooking because it involves food, for Christmas her list of wants are 90% food related items and she is always talking about food (this was all noted at her time in the mental health establishment where she managed to manipulate her ways into the canteen their and steal lots of food from there too). I feel a large part of this is down to her sensory issues, she never feels thirsty she doesn't recognize it but never stops feeling hungry, she doesn't recognize being full. Any money she gets has always gone on food.

There are other issues im worried about with her having her own money, she is very naive for one and she has no idea how to budget despite lots of lessons in this but my main worry is the food thing because it leads onto other problems which i have only after year managed to try and control (self harming, health problems due to sugar overdosing, bullying etc). I really dont want to end up back at where i was a year ago having made some progress with her and i just dont feel she is ready for this yet, I have been giving her £10 a week but she spends it all straight away always on food items and nothing else seems to matter.

Sorry for the long post there is alot more to it but hard to write it all down, in short i dont feel she is mature enough or wise enough to manage her own money yet and i feel is she is allowed to its gonna set her right back again and cause all sorts of problems for her and pressure for us on the whole as a family and undo the progress ive made with her BUT she will not agree with this when the dla worker questions her, she will say whatever she needs to in order to convince her otherwise and her manipulation skills are very very good, so therefore do i have any say in it if they decide she doesnt need an appointee? and if not, once she starts to receive money in her name if as i suspect the problems start all over again is there anything i can do?

rogerblack

Unfortunately, your options are limited - however they do not simply take someone with problems word, if there is significant other evidence.
Another issue is that around her 16th birthday, she will not be entitled to DLA, but will need to transition to PIP.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/benefits_e/benefits_sick_or_disabled_people_and_carers_ew/benefits_personal_independence_payment_e/benefits_the_pip_assessment_e/pip_activities_descriptors_and_points.htm

Some seem arguable at least - 'needs social support to engage with other people', or 'cannot engage with other people ... exhibit behaviour which would result in a substantial risk of harm'.
'needs prompting or assistance to make simple/complex budgeting decisions'

pmlindyloo

rogerblack wrote: »

Unfortunately, your options are limited - however they do not simply take someone with problems word, if there is significant other evidence.
Another issue is that around her 16th birthday, she will not be entitled to DLA, but will need to transition to PIP.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/benefits_e/benefits_sick_or_disabled_people_and_carers_ew/benefits_personal_independence_payment_e/benefits_the_pip_assessment_e/pip_activities_descriptors_and_points.htm

Some seem arguable at least - 'needs social support to engage with other people', or 'cannot engage with other people ... exhibit behaviour which would result in a substantial risk of harm'.
'needs prompting or assistance to make simple/complex budgeting decisions'

She may not be transferred to PIP after her 16th birthday.

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/304548/timetable-for-pip-replacing-dla.pdf

pmlindyloo

A useful guide for you.

http://www.cerebra.org.uk/English/getinformation/finance/Documents/Parents'%20Guide-%20Money%20matters.pdf

You may wish to become an appointee for your daughter.

System

Hi,
The advisor that came to see us had a chat with my dd and agreed that I should be her appointee.
The way we do it is dd has her bank card and basically the money is hers to do as she wants but I deal with the paperwork side of things.
DD cant go out on her own so shopping sprees aren't really an issue.she is 17 now and is still on DLA she does have an indefinite award and I believe she will be one of the last to transfer to pip.

cheepskate_2

Prader Willi Syndrom.

This is where the child/adult cannot stop eating, possibility to look into this see if she matches

cattermole

Prader willi is a chromosome disorder, its highly unlikely it would have gone undetected as they present similar to Downs children. My friend's child passed away with Prader Willi at a young age and was in an SLD school she had severe learning difficulties and did not talk.

OP my other friends child hit 16 recently and they have not been migrated to PIP. Also she could be eligible for ESA if she is not in Education. Its a dilemma over her having control of the money, all I can suggest is to share your concerns with the DWP.