What would happen to the child in the event of..........................

specialboy

You can will all your property to whom ever you want but you can't will your children to anyone, you can only make suggestions that may or may not be followed in the event of your deaths.

jackyann

Social Services will normally follow that suggestion unless you have named someone too obviously ill or unsuitable.
You do need to discuss it with them, and if others are likely to object, just don't tell them, and ask your nominated guardians not to discuss it.
You need to choose the person, who you feel best.
You also need to think about finances. Your money may be held in trust for your children and used for their benefit. We, however, willed our house to the guardians (as long as they took the children) so that they had freedom to act in the best interests of the "new" family as a whole. We didn't want our kids being able to have stuff or go on holidays that their adopted siblings couldn't afford. Neither did we want the house being sold from under them when our kids reached majority - we just wanted them to behave as ordinary parents would. Not everyone agrees with this - it's very personal - but you have to do what you think is right, and not worry about upsetting other family members (as I said, no need for them to know)

TomEdpost

First, well done for thinking about this in advance. It's not something everyone is brave or sensible enough to think through the "what if ..". Personally, I think the number one priority has to be the child. Who does the child see most often? Do they go to school yet? Would they have to move area? We have tow children (now both over 18) but when they were young we knew neither set of grandparents could cope and the only other close blood relative had their own family issues and lived a long way away. Our good friends who lived nearby had three children of similar ages and similar concerns and so we agreed that if anything happened to either side, the other family would look after all five. There was no legal basis for this but we both put it in our wills and we did inform the family on a;; sides and made it crystal clear we were putting the children first. There was a bit of grumbling but everyone realised it was the right thing. Fortunately, things turned out fine and all five children are adults and thriving but none of us ever regretted thinking it through and making the choices we did (and we're still good friends!)...it gave us all a bit of reassurance. So, put the child's interest first and do what's right to help them have a happy childhood if the worst should ever happen. Good luck.

emzi27

We went and recently did a will as this kind of thing scares the life out of me. Luckily my Dad and step Mum are still young and my Dad was more than happy to be named. I feel happier knowing I have something in place.

Newly_retired

I understand you can name guardians in your will who are to act as trustees, looking after the interest of the children, financial and otherwise, without necessarily being the ones to actually take them in. That could be somebody else.
The picture may change as the child gets older- grandparents die, you move house, remarry.... But the guardians remain constant, always acting for the child.

whitewing

I think it could be quite tricky to 'parent' a child if you were answerable to a guardian, though, I have enough niggles with grandparents of my biological child!

Savvy_Sue

We named guardians who were to make decisions in the best interests of the children at the time: we felt this gave flexibility because what would have been best for them when they were 1, 3 and 5 probably wouldn't have suited when they were 13, 15 and 17!

In the event it wasn't needed, but I felt better for knowing it was sorted at the time.

Sarah-Jean

We just updated our wills today and had to consider this exact same situation. We have named a preference for care of our children but have refused to discuss it with anyone. I don't see the point if I'm honest as there are three sets of parents and two siblings and if we told them all what was in our will we'd invariably upset someone. Seeing as we are hoping this eventuality will not be a real life scenario we don't see the point in causing family upset by discussing it all other than the fact that if both parents died the kids get everything.

I hadn't thought about what would happen if one died and one was incapacitated though. Is that something you'd put in the will, or is that something you'd need to see a solicitor about separately? We know in that case who we'd like to care for the kids until the remaining party recovers or dies and we'd like to give them some sort of power to get to the finances required to care for our children until recovery or death occurred. They are also our executor anyway but I presume giving power of attorney in that scenario is not covered in a will and is something separate altogether?

Savvy_Sue

Sarah-Jean wrote: »

I presume giving power of attorney in that scenario is not covered in a will and is something separate altogether?

Indeed it is, and it is something I'd discuss. Even if you don't tell anyone else, then discussing whether or not someone is willing to take on PofA would only be polite ...

CarterW

Sarah-Jean wrote: »

We just updated our wills today and had to consider this exact same situation. We have named a preference for care of our children but have refused to discuss it with anyone. I don't see the point if I'm honest as there are three sets of parents and two siblings and if we told them all what was in our will we'd invariably upset someone. Seeing as we are hoping this eventuality will not be a real life scenario we don't see the point in causing family upset by discussing it all other than the fact that if both parents died the kids get everything.

I hadn't thought about what would happen if one died and one was incapacitated though. Is that something you'd put in the will, or is that something you'd need to see a solicitor about separately? We know in that case who we'd like to care for the kids until the remaining party recovers or dies and we'd like to give them some sort of power to get to the finances required to care for our children until recovery or death occurred. They are also our executor anyway but I presume giving power of attorney in that scenario is not covered in a will and is something separate altogether?

You should at least ask the named guardians first before naming them in your Will. Nobody wants this to be a real life situation but it happens and that's the point of having a Will, i can't understand why so many people don't have them as you need one someday.

Your kids are not guaranteed to receive everything if you both die whilst they are dependants, depends how the trustees spend the money, i have seen cases where money is used up getting a bigger house to cope with extra children for the guardians. Depends what trust work you have had done.

I'm surprised to hear you have just updated your Wills but none of these other things were discussed? Did you update it yourself?

Power of Attorney is separate to a Will and anyone with Assets should have one of these together with a Will.

You don't need a solicitor, just someone who specialises in estate planning and is covered by Professional Indemnity Insurance!