Bullying boss

Cad123

Sorry for long post. Last summer I was bullied by my boss. I sought advice from my union who advised me to resolve the issues through mediation. I felt as issues were personal (about my looks, my weight and my relationships) that there was no way I could sit in a room with her, her senior manager, her union rep, my senior manager, my union rep and discuss this. My union rep understood this and advised me that I would have to lodge a grievance. The bullying happened around last July and due to no formal grievance procedure being in place it had to go through months of discussion about how to deal with it. By December the issue was still not resolved, I was then informed as the issue happened so long ago there was no point in taking matters further so the grievance didn't go any further.

I still work in the same team, we now stay out each other's way and only reluctantly speak about work related matters. I believed at the time she was trying to get rid of me, I work in a large team and we all get on fantastically I love working there. She was unable to get at me through my work as it was always of a high standard which was confirmed by my senior manager and my HR department described my employment record as unblemished, I've worked in the organisation for 12 years. Other colleagues have experienced bullying from her but have accepted it as they were too afraid of losing there jobs if they complained.

Ok so the bullying has stopped but what my issue is, is that next week I have an interview for a lucrative position in my organisation I've been waiting for this opportunity for 5 years and it means everything to me to get it. On the downside she would still be my manager if I was successful. There are only 2 candidates, me and someone else who has been interviewed 5 times previously for it but has been unsuccessful, so I've worked hard to get to interview stage and this the last hurdle. I've now received my official interview letter which states she, "my bullier" is on the interview panel. She has not previously been on this panel and I believe the only reason she requested to be on the panel is because of me as she knows how much it means to me. During the initial application stages I was informally told she would not be on the panel.

I'm so disheartened as I've worked so hard for this and it will open so many doors for me but I'm now on the verge of withdrawing. I know I couldn't perform to my highest ability at interview with her being present so see no point in going to interview.

The bullying memories still remain with me it was nasty and embarrassing (having my intimate relationships being discussed, breaking down in tears and having to disclose to my senior manager and union something I wanted no one to know about, hence why her actions affected me so much). I just don't know what to do, the particular field I work in rarely has many job opportunities available so I'm stuck and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of destroying this for me, if I go to HR/union and explain all this it's just going to cause more issues for me as nothing is confidential where I work but I just know I can't go through with the interview with her there. Any advice?

tomtontom

Please put some paragraphs in your post - it is very difficult to read.

Cad123

tomtontom wrote: »

Please put some paragraphs in your post - it is very difficult to read.

Sorry edited now

kiddy_guy

So you'll still be working for her (day in day out, year after year), yet you can't face her on an interview panel for 30 minutes?

I feel the lady doth protest too much...

If you can't spend 30 minutes with her asking questions about your suitability for the job, then don't go for the job.

Takeaway_Addict

The effects of the bullying are still there by the sounds of it but the actual bullying has stopped and been stopped for a long period of time.

Face your fear, go for the interview and if you get it great, if not then re-evaluate your situation and proceed from there

SuzieSue

From what you have said, you are very good at your job and so there is no reason why you shouldn't this promotion.

The bully has already made your working life very difficult. Do you really want to allow her to stop you getting your dream job?

Of course it will be very difficult at the interview with her there, but the best way of showing the bully that she hasn't got the better of you is for you to give it your all and give yourself the satisfaction of not being a victim.

If you don't go for the interview you will regret it and the bully will have won.

Nile

Hi Cad123


If I were you, I'd go for the interview and do my best. If I gave up now, I'd forever think 'what if?'


You could come up with some coping strategies.


For example, if the bully sits directly opposite you...........get up and slightly angle your chair so that you're facing one of the other panel members. The bully will be miffed and you've got her face out of your face.;)


The bully might interrupt you when you're answering a question............so stop, take a deep breath and start again with your answer. If the bully tries to interrupt again, repeat the above. She will eventually get the message that you won't be fazed by her interruptions. If the other panel member(s) are awake, they should see her (the bully) behaviour for what it is and they might stop her.


You know it will be a difficult process but nothing worth having is easy, is it? Keep your head held high, you are a shortlisted candidate for this role. Make it yours.


Come back and tell us how you got on.


Best of luck.


Nile

Bella73

Go for the interview.

I would make sure I looked as good as I could, be very prepared and go for it, show the cow that you are better than she is, as she is a bully and has bullied other people, I promise you others in your workplace will be aware if her and probably think she is a cow too, so just answer any questions from her professionally and you will have won whether you get the job or not you can hold your head up high and be proud.

Good luck x

ohreally

What the hell are HR playing at, convening an interview panel consisting of an alleged bully. I'd have a discrete word to put their faux pas on the radar.

kiddy_guy

How dare they put the manager of the dept, the manager for whom the successful candidate will work on the panel? :rotfl:

tanya2014

Kiddy guy
Do you have anything constructive to say or do you get your kicks being nasty?
You can see that Cad123 is upset and distressed about this