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What should she do? And how?
Comments
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The 'residence order' no longer exists and is now replaced by a Child Arrangement Order.
https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/types-of-court-order
I suggest she gets some legal advice from a Family Law Solicitor.
She can also claim CB for the child and tax credits. It's unlawful for a person to claim benefits for a child that does not reside with them.
Expect a long, drawn out process and possibly some assessment from Social Services that will contribute to the Court Process.
Many thanks for your reply. I will pass on all your great advice.0 -
Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »Who has made the decision that the child lives with her grandmother?
Was this by mutual agreement with the parent or as a result of Social Care involvement/Court.
I think the mother really since it was an arrangement consisting of the child staying each weekend and then extended weekends into the week and now permanently. The grandmother asked the mother to clarify the situation and the mother said for the child to stay with the grandmother. No remorse (if thats the right word!). The mother does not have any alcohol, drugs or mental health issues - she is simply enjoying life with extra money and no responsibility as far as i see it.
Like i said previously my friend rang social services - they said the only thing she can do is go to court and get a residence order which will cost my friend thousands (money she doesnt have to spare) and to be honest, i am not sure this is correct!0 -
Like i said previously my friend rang social services - they said the only thing she can do is go to court and get a residence order which will cost my friend thousands (money she doesnt have to spare) and to be honest, i am not sure this is correct!
Do SS know that effectively the mother has abandoned the child for lifestyle issues and that the grand-mother has no idea where she lives? Or was she a bit more diplomatic than this and SS aren't clued up that they don't know her whereabouts and that the grand-mother is experiencing financial hardship because the mother is retaining around £100 (just a guess) or so a week in benefits that should be spent on the child?0 -
Sounds like an informal fostering situation since the biological mother is giving the guardian the runaround and is illegally claiming benefits which should go to the person with care of the child.
Social services has its detractors but are best placed to determine what is in the best interest of the child rather than the rather narrow focus on money.
They will determine who is the most appropriate guardian for the child, formalise this arrangement with the appropriate residence order, sort finances such as kinship carers allowance if the grandmother is the formal guardian and set up access/contact with the mother.
I assume both mother and grand-mother aren't too keen on social services contact because it carries with it the risk that the child ends up in the care system if neither is deemed fit.
However, from another perspective, perhaps social services is best placed to focus on the child and give support to both mother and grand-mother rather than let the child be a source of income for a mother who can't apparently cope with raising the child and only sees the child when they fancy.
As far as i am aware, social services were involved a few years ago when the grandparents took the child from the mother who was involved with an 'undesirable' - drug paraphanaelia left around the house, dog faeces etc. Mother at that time did not stop the grandparents doing this and actually stated it was in the child's best interests but didnt leave the dirty house etc and put her child first but left the child with the grandparents!0 -
Do SS know that effectively the mother has abandoned the child for lifestyle issues and that the grand-mother has no idea where she lives? Or was she a bit more diplomatic than this and SS aren't clued up that they don't know her whereabouts and that the grand-mother is experiencing financial hardship because the mother is retaining around £100 (just a guess) or so a week in benefits that should be spent on the child?
Social services have been told that the child is residing with the grandparents and the reasons why. However i think the grandmother was diplomatic since she doesnt want her daughter getting into trouble. Social services told my friend at that point that if she doesnt get a court order, anytime her daughter wants to come back and take the child, she can and if the grandparents try to resist, she can come back with the police and because there is nothing in place, there would be nothing they could do!0 -
Do SS know that effectively the mother has abandoned the child for lifestyle issues and that the grand-mother has no idea where she lives? Or was she a bit more diplomatic than this and SS aren't clued up that they don't know her whereabouts and that the grand-mother is experiencing financial hardship because the mother is retaining around £100 (just a guess) or so a week in benefits that should be spent on the child?
Even if SS knew they wouldn't do anything, it's a private arrangement. There are no concerns (that we know of) regarding the care of the child and what family's do is entirely up to them.Thrifty Till 50 Then Spend Till the End
You can please some of the people some of the time, all of the people some of the time, some of the people all of the time but you can never please all of the people all of the time0 -
Perhaps your friend appreciates that if she gives the true picture to social services of her grand-daughter's effective abandonment, it would perhaps result in a case being opened and that her daughter will collect her child rather than see an end to her benefits?
SS still might pursue it even if the daughter is collected, just to check all is well in the daughter's household. Unfortunately, by contacting SS, it might cause a rift between them.
Has she suggested a residence order type thing with her daughter directly during one of her rare visits? Personally, as the daughter is enjoying the peace and income that comes from palming her child off onto her mother, I don't think it will be palatable to her but she could raise it.0 -
Your friend could make an appointment with CAB who can offer advice and pinpoint her to a solicitor who offers an intial free appointment to look over any court papers if she decides to do a diy claim for a Child Arrangement Order.
She also needs to phone HRMC and inform them the mother no longer has care of the child from what i remember she would of lost her entitlement to CB if the child has lived away from her care for a min of 56 days over a 16 week period...grandma will need to provide proof the child lives with her ie: school records, GP register etc, from there she will be able to claim CTC (her income allowing).0 -
Never heard of this special guardianship order but will check it out. Many thanks for your reply.
http://familylives.org.uk/advice/your-family/fostering-adoption-kinshipcare/special-guardianship-orders/
It's one step on from residence order.0 -
Thank you all so very much for your replies. I will pass on each and every one of your messages of advice and then it is up to my friend what she chooses to do but I know she will be very appreciative for your help
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