ATOS PIP Medical on Thursday for Depression/Anxiety. terrified

Mizora

Hi. Hope this is in the correct forum.

I'm 20 year old female have been suffering with anxiety and self harm since I was 15 and I was diagnosed with depression in 2010. I have been on several different meds since 2010, sertraline, citalopram, mirtazipin and currently on lofelapram (sp) due to not being able to sleep.

Early last year I was kicked out of a hostel and had to stay with a friend and then ended up at my mums and I never went outside alone, applied for ESA and have been on since last may.

in November 2013 ended up getting a flat of my own (was pn housing list because of being in a hostel) nd that's when I got an adviser with YHN and he wanted me to apply for PIP as he said I was entitled to it, he filled out the form with me (my partner was with me also, always is) and then Friday just gone I received a letter sayin my appointment is this Thursday!!!


I am totally freaking out because I've read so many horror stories about it, my anxiety has been so bad since last year I never go anywhere alone. I had a physiologist In 2010 and I have ha one within the last 6 months but I missed an appointment due to being stressed and I have yet to contact her for another appointment because I struggle with phone calls.

The last time I saw her was a few months ago and I agreed to walk my dads dog with him every day around where we live. It is a 20 min walk to get me out of the house every day and keep me sane, my boyfriend walks me to my dads (2 min from where I live) or if he is at work my dad collects me from my flat. If I need shopping I spend the full week creating a list to make sure I have everything I need and then I go to asda with my dad for a quick rush in rush out so I can go back home.

If I need milk/ect my boyfriend will get it for me from work. I rarely see family only if my bf walks me to my mums or my mum picks me up. I don't have any friends either. The most I use my phone for is checking my shopping list or texting family. I dot ever use the phone to ring anybody becaus it causes me unbelieve amounts of anxiety so my dad or bf will contact people for bills ect. My bf pays my bills for me with the money I receive from ESA.

This medical is causing me so much anxiety I have barely slept since I got the letter (I get maybe 4 - 5 hours a night if I am lucky constantly awake/asleep through the night) I have struggled with eating since the end of October and I have dropped from 8.5 stone to just under 7. (I'm 5'3) if it wasn't for my bf I probably wouldn't eat at all, currently I just eat apples or cereal and the occasional Sunday dinner at my dads).

I am so scared of not being accepted and havig my ESA screwed up?? Could they do that?? My bf is going with me because he appointment is in town (haven't been to town for months!!!! So this is so awful for me) my mum is dropping us off outside the centre and picking us up from there too so I don't have to get on a bus or walk about.

Usually if I am panicking I will have a panic attack and I am worried I will have one during the medical. I have a lot of trouble speaking to people I don't know so my boyfriend does any talking for me if he can. Will they force me to speak?

Sorry this has been very long but I have no idea what to expect

Mizora

I am also seeing a GP today to renew a sick note if they can help at all

slowpoke22

My husband had a medical last year with atos. They talked through his feelings (severe anxiety and psychotic dpression) and took his stats

That was all x

tomtontom

What help are you getting from your GP apart from meds? It sounds like you need a referral to the mental health team and some sort of therapy.

kittykat17

I had my ATOS assessment last week and, I don't know if I was just lucky but the assessor was really helpful and very nice. He told me to try and relax and not to worry as his job was to help me (hope he was being honest). He actually brought up some things I hadn't thought to include but should have. Don't worry (easier said than done) and try not to panic. If you explain to the assessor how you feel you can ask them to let your b/f answer anything you don't feel able to. They will still need you to answer as much as you can but your b/f can help if you get yourself into a panic. I understand that it's not easy for you but just do the best you can. Good luck and please let us know how you get on. Su

bloolagoon

They are being very sympathetic to MH claims due I suspect to various political reasons, changeover, double checking etc so whilst it's unpleasant the reality is that there hasn't been a better time to have an assessment. It's certainly going better for my clients than previously so whilst no one can guarantee anything my advice is not to worry and read too many horror stories as only negatives get reported not the mundane went ok.

Horseunderwater

Having a panic attack of major proportions during one of these assessments would not be the end of the world, it would prove to them that you do have them & they should be able to help you get through it, should one come on. Your BF will be there to support you, just take it slowly & if you are not sure what they mean ask them to explain it so that you do understand. Most of them are not monsters, it's just that we read a few reported stories in the papers of what can/has happened. I must admit I was very anxious when I had my ATOS WCA in July 2012, but the GP doing mine, knew what my illness was & ended it early, then I was put into the Support group for ESA. As I live in East Anglia I will be going under the PIP thing myself sometime near end of year. I am sure that you will be OK, but maybe your GP could give you something to help just for that day!