Someone help me

incorrect_2

We moved house 4 months ago and apart from one neighbour who obviously has health problems everything is fine. This neighbour did not know us at all before we here but when we go in or out the door she makes comments or grunts at us now until last week ignored all of this but, one night last weekend she stood outside and screamed and shouted abuse about me and my daughter and its really scary. All the other neighbours have had trouble with her but, say she cant help it. We have now heard she has contacted a solicitor and said we have accused of her of things (no idea what) where do we stand if this is true? I just want to move now. We have done so much to this house in the short time we have been here but, I cant sleep and my son will not stay in the house anymore. I would appreciate any advice I do not want to end up in a battle with solicitors though. Thanks

Doozergirl

Don't listen to gossip. In many respects you are worrying about something you have heard, not something that has happened. What actual use at all is a solicitor to her?

Also, be careful of feeding gossip yourself. If neighbours are talking to her for her to tell them things and report it back to you (ie. gossiping) then be aware that what you say will be reported back to her, probably once it's been twisted for a bit of dramatic effect. She simply may not be able to cope with that.

All I can think is that you try to be nice to her. Introduce yoursleves properly, maybe even apologise for getting of on the wrong foot perhaps - not because you're to blame for her outburst, but to try and reassure her a bit. If you ignore her, in her mind, she will continue to take this as a slight and project that onto you.

If she is being genuinely scary, then call the police at the time. It's your right.

Ultimately, if you need to move, move. Nothing is as important as your happiness.

incorrect_2

Thankyou for your reply. It has been terrible gradually getting worse over the months and we do keep to our selves but, hopefuly it will settle down and maybe a solicitor (if she has gone to one) can talk to her. I do genuinely feel for her as I have an older son with mental health problems and I know how hard it is for their families.

DirectDebacle

Good advice from Doozergirl.

In addition I suggest you inform Social Services in writing that you believe there is someone with mental health problems who may be in need of help. Give a brief description of her behaviour and any anecdotal evidence from your neighbours if you think it appropriate. Ignore her as best you can and try to enjoy your home.

In the event you receive a solicitors letter simply respond by refuting any allegations and referring them to Social Services for more information on their client.

Should things turn for the worse it may be important for you to have a record of having notified the authorities of the situation.

incorrect_2

Thankyou for your help

Norman_Castle

We have now heard she has contacted a solicitor and said we have accused of her of things (no idea what) where do we stand if this is true?

The solicitor would consider what, if any, action could be taken and advise her proof would be needed. Its nonsense. Ignore it.

Its likely you have a voice recorder on your phone. Recording her outbursts may be useful. The police may be able to advise and link you to social services.

A.Penny.Saved

Keep records because it might help in future.

Speak to your local mental health department for advice. If all else fails and she is harassing/alarming you then further reports might get her sectioned if the need arises.

If she has problems then she should stay indoors and not harass/frighten other people. She has to live under societies rules and regulations like everyone else. Mental health problems are no excuse to get around that and cause problems for other people.

I don't think speaking directly to her would be a good idea because you do not know her situation. Leave it to the professionals to deal with. Please do get advice and make them aware that there is a problem because you do need them to know about the situation. They might be able to do something to stop it.

rustyboy21

Just a thought... Did you actually introduce yourself to her, when you moved in and told her about the work you were going to do o the house?


If not, I could see how she may be upset and annoyed, if you didn't tell her and you had a load of work done with the noise associated with it. Especially if she has medical/mental issues.


I would try and have a polite word with her first, perhaps take some chocolates/cake around and apologise if you having work done has upset her. ALWAYS be aware that other neighbours will gossip, after all, all of them have been there longer than you. Try and gauge which ones you can trust. I have a greek family who live opposite me, who are lovely, but whenever she sees us packing our car to go away, she comes out shouting 'Have a good holiday, where are you off to?'' at the top of her voice. I now pack the car up in the dark so she doesn't know !My other neighbours cut my grass, put the bins out and have keys, in case the alarm goes off.

I_have_spoken

one night last weekend she stood outside and screamed and shouted abuse about me and my daughter and its really scary

Call the police on 999 and say a women and child are being threatened

incorrect_2

She did know in advance as did all the other neighbours that we were getting the work done, its almost complete now but, my anxiety levels are sky high and its just so unfair that one person can make us feel this way. I have read these posts through and I will keep records and report incidents because we do have the right to peace in our own home. Thanks everyone for your help

A.Penny.Saved

Getting a cheap page per day diary would make keeping a record easier. It's almost mid year so they should be practically given away. £1land etc sell them for £1,000 lol near the year end so one should not cost much more. I doubt you could get one from the £1 type stores this late in the year.