seperation advice

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hi,

My step brother and his long term girlfriend have broken up - it's gotten quite messy.

They've been together for years and have a child together.

He's self employed and was doing reasonably well in business, the girlfriend is a stay at home mum.

Since the split, he's moved out and thing a have gone horrid.

He's asked his ex to either sell the house, or buy him out. She's refused. He's having to pay the mortgage on his own as she doesn't work, as well as maintenance and all the bills for the house and this is leaving him with little to live on. The ex has now moved another man in and neither are paying any bills.

Step bro can't fall behind because his business is all tied in with the house

Access is depending on what mood the ex is in.

I've told him to go to a solicitor but he's being a bit of a mug (i don't think he can afford it either as he's paying all the bills on the house and all his own bills) and says he needs to do all this so his daughter has somewhere to live. His ex, in my opinion, is doing what she's always done and taking the P a little.

Has anyone been in this situation? Does he have any rights he can exercise without going to court just yet?

I've said to move back in lol he said no because the arguing isn't good for the child - but neither is seeing him like this

Thanks

BitterAndTwisted

Whatever he chooses to do he should not be paying any bills for a house he no longer lives in. His ex and her new squeeze should be paying them. So, he needs to pop back and take meter reading for leccy, gas and water, if there's a meter and pay the final bills on them. Plus give the ex's name for the new bills to be issued.

As the ex is a stay-at-home parent with no income it's going to be an impossibility to get her to take out a mortgage and buy him out of his share. That's assuming the property is in both names. He has an equal repsonsibility to proved a roof over his child's head but that does not have to mean continuing to provide the current one and paying for it on his own. However, forcing a sale can be an extremely costly process but it is one I would consider rather than having some stranger/c0cklodger having the benefit of it.

How is the property tied up in his business?

In any case, he needs to spend a hundred quid by getting proper qualified advice.

The ex is in a much weaker position as an unmarried partner than she would be if she was his spouse.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

So sorry for not replying sooner - I typed something out on my mobile then it deleted itself!


I'm not 100% sure how it is tied to the house, he just said it was, I will ask for more details.


Yes, I know she wont be able to buy him out, he knows this too. He was hoping she would move out so he could sell up and split the proceeds. She's refused.


He's working away at the moment so I'll speak to him when I can


Thanks!

RAS

In whose name is the house?

Joint tenants or tenants in common?

Based on your comments they are not married?

Exactly how is the house tied in together with his business?

Gigglepig

- transfer all bills
- book appointment for legal advice. Does he have a home insurance etc that might offer a free legal helpline he can call right away?
- write ex to arrange a formal mediation appointment

What does the ex want? If her half of the proceeds would be insufficient for a new place to live, Would it be possible that she stays in the house until child turns 18?

If not, perhaps moving back in can be an incentive for encouraging ex and new partner to move out.

Mojisola

If they are not married and she isn't a part-owner of the house, she has no right to stay there.

The father doesn't have to provide a house for her to live in (and especially not for her new man!) - he needs to give 15% of his income as child support.

She and her new partner should be making their own living arrangements.

TBagpuss

A court could decide that the purpose of the house was to provisde a home for the child, thus delaying a sale, but it would be extremely unusual to have a situation where this happened if the partner remaining in the house was not able to cover the mortgage and other outgoings themself.

he mneeds to get his name off the bills - he will need to contact each utility company directly, as he would do if he were moving out on sale. He will get final bills and they will then need to contact his ex to set up new accounts.

In relation to the mortgage, if the house is in joint names, they will have joint and several liability, so while he could stop paying, this will have an impact on hos creidt record as well as on hers.

he mneeds to see a solicitor and try to move things forwards.

On the plus side, if he does end up having to go to court to force a sale of th proprety, as this counts as general litigation, not as a family matter, he may be able to recover from her his costs of doing so.

In the short term, he could write to her to say that as a short term measure he is willing to pay money to the mortgage rather than as child support, to reduce her share, but he does need to stop that striaght away if she contacts the CSA as they will not normally 'count' such payments as maintenance.

He should have a look at the 'Wikivorce' website which is a more specialised forum for this type of issues than this one.

Mojisola

TBagpuss wrote: »

He should have a look at the 'Wikivorce' website which is a more specialised forum for this type of issues than this one.

It doesn't sound as if the couple were married so divorce information isn't relevant.

http://static.advicenow.org.uk/files/breaking-up-survival-guide-10-1-14-1123.pdf

StuC75

really should have stayed in the house, he should go back as theres no reason why he shouldn't be able to be there..

Its in his Best interests - I lost a house in the past with an ex and that was a pain to resolve, and second time I stayed in the house and she moved out -

Afterall with a kid as well her housing needs would be more supported - theres nothing wrong in her having to rent.. the step brother would have a much better financial standing and be able to provide maintanence and still have a Life.

How he has left himself now is completely over a barrel. hasn't done himself the slightest of favours!

NYM

Has your step-brother got any business loan secured on the property ?

Caroline_a

He should move back in. If it's his house and she isn't on the mortgage then she has no right to it. I'm sure she won't stay long once he's back. He is liable to pay for his child, but no more.