DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 10

Monkeyballs

DJP wrote: »

Don't know if i'm posting this in the right area but apologies if not.

Do DMP companies or debt charities that help you out check on if your income increases or if you have more disposable income to pay towards your debts at any stage or do they just help to reduce the payments you have to make and leave it there ?

Somebody i know seems to be under the impression that because their monthly payments have dramatically reduced they can now afford new kitchens , holidays and allsorts .... I'm sure this cannot be right can it ?

Thanks in advance.

Hi DJ,

They'll be asked for an annual review - Some providers ask for proof of income at the same time, others don't...

That said, they're not playing ball and it could back fire! Everyone here (probably) would agree with me when I say that they should up their payments to get debt free faster and save a bit while allowing a little more for their own budget.

Getting a new kitchen isn't necessarily a bad thing if the old one was knackered but it's not a sign of someone dedicated to becoming debt free, they could come a cropper

MB of G x

moneypit2014

DJP wrote: »

Don't know if i'm posting this in the right area but apologies if not.

Do DMP companies or debt charities that help you out check on if your income increases or if you have more disposable income to pay towards your debts at any stage or do they just help to reduce the payments you have to make and leave it there ?

Somebody i know seems to be under the impression that because their monthly payments have dramatically reduced they can now afford new kitchens , holidays and allsorts .... I'm sure this cannot be right can it ?

Thanks in advance.

Hi and welcome,

Debt management companies and creditors generally like to review figures at least once a year, however it's good practice to notify them of any changes as soon as they happen.

Buying a new kitchen is not really entering into the spirit of what a DMP is all about - paying what you can to clear your debt. With holidays it depends, our DMP says our debt free date is 2047, that's a long time not to have a holiday or two, but we won't be going every year and it'll be cheap - say a week camping or something.

DJP_2

Hi thanks for the reply ,
This person is the kind that digs themselves in to a big hole without a care in the world , does no kind of basic calculations or budget and basically just hopes for the best each time she goes to the cashpoint :eek:, and when the brown stuff hits the fan goes crawling to relatives as this has been the case when being hit with a repossession order :mad::mad:
I think she has been told her situation would be reviewed after six months , i was just wondering if they want bank statements or proof of accounts.

Monkeyballs

It's not beyond the realms of possibility...

That said, (don't take this the wrong way) sometimes you just need to step back and leave them to their own mistakes if they're not in the right frame of mind then you'll wind up driving yourself mad and then you'll feel bitter towards them if/when the shinola starts to fly!

Do the relatives know? If it's their parents then this could risk souring that relationship too...

Remember, an important aspect of a DMP is to learn responsibility and that doesn't sound like it's happening.

MB of G x

DJP_2

Yes the relative knows , it's my sister in law actually and her Mother who has bailed her out yet again , i'm married to the her more sensible sister and we have our own debts but manage them in the right manner and pay our bills on time , i know what you mean regards souring relationships when it's family , but can't help getting annoyed when you try to help but she'd rather take no responsibility and let others pick up the pieces :-/

Growurown

DJP wrote: »

Yes the relative knows , it's my sister in law actually and her Mother who has bailed her out yet again , i'm married to the her more sensible sister and we have our own debts but manage them in the right manner and pay our bills on time , i know what you mean regards souring relationships when it's family , but can't help getting annoyed when you try to help but she'd rather take no responsibility and let others pick up the pieces :-/

I reckon some tough love is called for here. As MB says sometimes you have to let people hit the bottom before they wake up to their situation. However it is a hard thing to do and can cause all sorts of problems within families when some want to help and some don't. I know someone who pays all her step sons bills because she knows that if he gets chucked out of his flat he will come to live with them. Her partner wouldn't see him on the streets. He is apparently the size of a whale and plays computer games all day. Not a situation I would put up with but each to their own I guess.

DJP_2

Oh dear that sounds terrible , not too different from this situation. Yes some tough love is absolutely needed here , rock bottom has been reached but as long as there is somebody there to bail her out she'll just bounce back up and dig her way back down again until next time.
Looking in from the outside i can see what's coming and what needs to be done about it , but that's easy for me to sit here and say as it's not me doing the bailing out.

BeingDebtFreeStartsHere

Congratulations on the new arrival spiffyiffy

Can I just say thanks to everyone who posted advice regarding f&fs - very interesting and informative and gives me food for thought when we eventually get into a position to be thinking about this.

I love this thread

BDFSH x

Time_to_face_the_music

spiffyiffy wrote: »

Hi all,

Crazy last 8 days!

Have today just rang step change to kick start this DMP but have been told to expect a call in the next couple of days.

In the mean time I will get my proof of wages together will all my account numbers and how much debt I have altogether for them.

I was also thinking about now to write to all of the creditors giving them the token £1.00 payments. Is this a good idea? and if so I was told this a while a go to do it via postal orders, is this also a good idea?

Now for the craziness of the 8 days, last Wednesday my wife had a baby boy! Going t be a crazy time but will enjoy it all the way through! I'll have to add that in the new DMP as well soon!

Thanks

Congratulations to you and Mrs SpiffyIffy on your new arrival

Kate_fixing_it

Congratulations Spiffy Massive change in your house!

DJP - I think all you can do is step back. By all means support your wife and mother-in-law emotionally but the person in question is a long long way from rock bottom.

I know of a similar situation where the person was repeatedly bailed out until sadly their parents ran out of life. Rock bottom landed about 2 years later. They still haven't learned. Still robbing Peter to pay Paul and then turning to their own children for bailouts. Absolutely NOTHING gets through to this person and now they're facing retirement with virtually nothing and it's torn the family apart. Only one person in the family group has their life together and that took years, they only have contact for the sake of small children that don't understand the extent of the situation and don't need to. I could tell you things that would make you cry with regard to what has been said and done and what it took for the person to call time on the relationship but without an incredibly supportive partner god knows where that person would be.

Sometimes families are really carp

Kate x