DMP & Mutual Support Thread - Part 10

Sazzie23

catandy wrote: »

major spanner in the works with regards to my dmp (self managed). fine of 1100 that has become a ccj, overpayment of 4000£ odd to working tax credit that im trying to come to an agreement on, partners business looks like its going bump (not sure if this is a bad thing or not as its been so shaky) and I'm struggling to pay bills/ juggle finances/ sleep or hold a conversation without snapping with the worry of it all.


partner cant see why I stress and analyse things all the time - hes the sort that can compartmentalise his life into neat little boxes - complete opposites!


just cannot see the way forward with all of this at the moment (want to curl up under the covers and stay there).

Ok Catandy, I'm working nights this week so there's room under my duvet til I get back in the mornings, but you have to come out when I get home:rotfl:

Not wishing to belittle your worries, just wanted to try to raise a smile, it's tough when you are worrying all the time, you might find you forget how to relax/smile/be happy, just try to get some time out doing something that makes you laugh...funny book/daft tv/YouTube etc it will help you get through this...

Don't have much in way of suggestions to offer re finances but wonder if talking to national debtline or stepchange might help, you don't have to move the DMP off self managed unless you wanted to. Keep believing there is a way forward, just need to find it. As TTfTm says, well be here for you all the way.

Sazzie23

FuzzyDF wrote: »

In other news, got my liver results today, they can't tell for sure if all the lesions are benign therefore I am going to have to have a biopsy :eek:

I lead a healthy lifestyle, don't drink etc, just shows that the experts aren't always right! I wish they had sent me the results after the weekend as I'm going to ponder (not going to Google).

Did they sent you the results in the mail, seems a bit harsh? Thinking of you, positive thoughts for reassuring news, have they got you a date for the biopsy?

FuzzyDF

Sazzie23 wrote: »

Did they sent you the results in the mail, seems a bit harsh? Thinking of you, positive thoughts for reassuring news, have they got you a date for the biopsy?

They did, all post DMP and hospital seems to come on a Saturday. I'm going to push for the biopsy ASAP, as I don't like waiting around for results. I had no symptoms, routine ultrasound picked these little gits up :eek:

jubilee14

catandy wrote: »

major spanner in the works with regards to my dmp (self managed). fine of 1100 that has become a ccj, overpayment of 4000£ odd to working tax credit that im trying to come to an agreement on, partners business looks like its going bump (not sure if this is a bad thing or not as its been so shaky) and I'm struggling to pay bills/ juggle finances/ sleep or hold a conversation without snapping with the worry of it all.


partner cant see why I stress and analyse things all the time - hes the sort that can compartmentalise his life into neat little boxes - complete opposites!


just cannot see the way forward with all of this at the moment (want to curl up under the covers and stay there).

Hi Catandy sorry to hear things have hit a bit of a wall. I guess TTFM is correct re DMP get it down to as little as is needed for now. then take each of hte other new problems at a time and explain they are not the only debts. am sure its frustrating and worrying so please come on here and vent.

we've all done it. thinking of you

jubilee14

News from my end 2nd year review done have managed to up payment by 78 quid. Down side BC statement has finally shown some interest on it so am now thinking of the self management although i know how stubborn BC have been to others.

Still really not sure whats going on with Hfx as havent had a statement on cc this month so will check noddle in next couple of days to see what it says.

jubilee14

take it back checked Noddle HBOS have finally defaulted. which is great news as they were applying the biggest amount of interest.

Kate_fixing_it

Had a bit of a down day yesterday. Bloody rain has had me in pain and hobbling like a pensioner for three days. Then teens (finally) cleaned their rooms and I got home Friday to NINE loads of washing :eek:

Chose to skip the BBQ invite which was a wise choice as the girls ended up absolutely plastered by 9.30pm and DS2 was unwell. Gave me more time to plough through the mountain of laundry. Only two more loads now. Have given the kitchen a good scrub and feeling better. It's really not fair that my brain decides to go into debt-stress mode when I'm already feeling low.

No post yesterday so only the one creditor letter this week and it was early.

Am now sitting down with a cuppa and the men's road race in the Commonwealth Games until the washing machine is finished. DS2 is feeling better and snuggled up next to me and most of the housework is almost done (or rather it's done enough for now) so I feel like I can relax. Teens will be home soon so I have an excuse to avoid visiting the out-laws (I've managed to avoid seeing them for nearly two and a half years and don't see any point in breaking a happy run )

So sorry some of us are having a stressful time. Please keep posting here, it really is a case of better out than in. I often find typing it out here allows me to see things more clearly, breaks the cycle of worry and reduces the stress.

And no matter what is going on remember we're all one day closer to debt freedom

Kate x

alyxzandra

This month has not been good. My mother, who I have been supporting for years, passed away last week. We had to make an emergency trip overseas and I was there a few days before she passed. I miss her terribly, but she had been sick for 15 years and is now out of pain. I had not seen her in over 2 years and it was heartbreaking to go over there and know she was barely alive. However, she made some acknowledgement that she knew I was there as I was the only one she responded to when she heard my voice. We had to borrow the money from my dad and my in-laws and now owe them money, but it was well worth it.

My step-dad was my mother's carer all these years and was unable to work. He is now looking for a job and we will need to help him out until he is on his feet as all the money my mother was getting has now stopped. So, we will be looking to make reduced payments until he is sorted. However, we will have more money to sort things out and will be out of debt 1.5 years than scheduled.

While we will be out of debt much sooner, it is sad that it came at such a price. A friend, who also lost her mother, said to look upon it as a gift from my mother. My mother was always upset we had to support them, but she was my mother and I could not let her go on the streets. She gave me life and raised me. I have no regrets even if it put stress on us.

I am using my mother's death to raise awareness of diabetes. She never took care of it and she was not going to dialysis on a regular basis. As we went through her items, we found she was hiding sweets. All this despite losing her legs and having heart problems. I am contacting the Diabetes Foundation to see if I can give some talks about how it has affected us, as a family, to watch a loved one not take care of her diabetes.

I have managed to convince a cousin to sort himself out and a friend who is diabetic and has not checked her sugar in 7 years. She has now ordered a testing kit. This has also convinced me to sort myself out with the smoking, which I am quitting, and lose the excess weight to lower my cholesterol. Luckily, I am not diabetic and have been tested for it for over 20 years. I do not want my son to go through this and I wish to be around for as long as possible. Sadly, my mother died a week before her grandson's 6th birthday.

Although we have debts, remember life is too short. It is fine to care for the debts and ensure they are paid off, but we have to remember the biggest debt we can have is not caring for our health.

jubilee14

Alyxandra such a moving post and am sincerely sorry for your loss. Hope your family can help you through this difficult time but if it becomes too debt related or not always come on her for the support you need and deserve. Much love

Kate_fixing_it

My thoughts are with you Alyxandra.

To hell with the debts! If they have to wait a bit longer so be it, the trip was more important. I hope you are taking good care of yourself at this difficult time.

Kate x