opinions wanted about wana get a house

paul55555

Hello This might be and sound stupid to post here but I wanted to get some opinions and maybe some one can help or at least suggest what I should do.

Its hard to know where to start my dad earns alot of money and to date he owns my sisters house and about 80% of my brothers too they own a large house I live in and just sold a house.

They keep telling me they want to help me out with a house but its only words nothing ever happens. But at the same time can afford very expensive car get new kitchens worth 10k and build extensions and off course go on holidays they are also always buying laptops.

They helped my brother and sister many years ago and bought them a house to live in. They only gave me a years worth of rent money. This was only about £200 a month for a year.

Then my brother moved out of that house and stayed with us for a while then with the help of his parents got a house of his own because his daughter got born.

I have gone from private landlord to landlord while I worked for call centres. I recently lost a job which I had for 4 years but during this 4 years they keep on saying we are going to help you out but it never happens know they have said well we cant buy you any thing because how can you afford the bills with no job.

Do you really think they will ever help me out or is it all talk. I dont understand how you can say to some one we want to help you out but cant afford it but at the same time see them buy a house worth £340.000 which they just sold and buy expensive car worth about 40k

I feel like I am in the way and feel like they never will help me out I hate living at home don't enjoy it and get no privacy at all. should I think about getting a council flat and move out once I have a new job?

I am the eldest of 3 children what would you do?

In brief my sister and brother have been looked after but say we going to help you out but never do. Do you think I should leave I am like 40 but feel am too old to be living with parents.

skint_spice

I'm confused about where you live? Do you live in a house owned by your parents or in a private let?

Realistically if you are "like 40" and they haven't been forthcoming with the money there could be various reasons but looks like you are on your own here. Have you managed to save towards a deposit? I think this should perhaps be your first move.

quicklee99

Good luck getting a constructive opinion you'll want to hear.

If you want your own place get saving for one. It'll be much more rewarding knowing you did it off your own back. No shame in still living at home at 40, the same can't be said for your sense of entitlement.

paul55555

I live in my parents main house with them but your right they spend money on many things rather then help me out. I am constantly being told by them they will help me out but so far done nothing about it. When I was working saved just 2k it was not a highly paid job only supermarket job.

paul55555

its a bit soul destroying when you see your brother and sister helped out while you get nothing

skint_spice

Well I think your only way forward will be to get another job and save some more, and buy your own place. Your parents are entitled to do what they want with their money which they worked to earn and by accepting that you can perhaps move on more easily. Good luck.

paul55555

oh i forgot to say my dad recently bought my grans house for 60k too

PlymouthMaid

I can see how unfair it seems on the surface at least. I wonder if they have particular reasons. You have alluded to the fact that they suggested you may not be able to afford to run a house. is this, perhaps, their way of saying to you that you need to improve your job prospects and seems a bit more self sufficient before they will give you more of a leg up. You have had a year of rent from your parents it seems which is way more than most people are given to help them get started in life and yet at 40 you still live 'at home'. Think about your brother and your sister, were they more established than you when they were given the help from your folks?

Sagz_2

Life ain't fair.

If you'd like your own house you'll need to save a deposit and get a job that pays enough to cover the mortgage. It's what most of the population do.

Annisele

It doesn't sound as though your parents *gave* your sister a house. It sounds as though your parents bought it, your parents own it, and your sister just lives in it. That's your position too - you live in a house that your parents bought and owned.

Possibly your parents don't particularly want to live with your siblings' spouses and children, but they're happy to live with you.

Or maybe they're worried about whether you could afford to maintain a house.

If this really bothers you so much, why don't you ask them next time they bring it up? Admittedly I'd never ask my parents such a thing, but then I've never expected them to buy me a house.

edinburgher

Sounds like a very frustrating situation, but your parents don't owe you a house. Also, if they own the majority of your sister and brother's houses, chances are they haven't 'given' them a house either. Do you actually know whether the houses remain in your parents' names?

An honest opinion? Get a better paying job by hook or crook and start saving up for your own home, that you can afford, with no interference or false promises from your parents. It doesn't have to be fancy - the problem seems to be that you are confusing your parents' wealth for your own - it's not. You won't get a big house on a call centre salary.

My parents own 3 houses, with the exception of a generous wedding and housewarming gift, we've had nothing from them other than that. They're loving, thoughtful parents who share their knowledge, that's enough. Your folks have clearly done well for themselves - do they have any business contacts that could get you into a better job? Do they have their own businesses that you could learn the ropes of?

Oh - and assuming this isn't a wind-up - your 'my parents or the state owe me a cheap/free house' comments won't go down well in this forum